Not wanting DP to go back to work

[Louba4]

Hi everyone,

I’ll try to keep this short! Basically my DP goes back to work this Monday coming, when DS will be just over two weeks old. I’m a FTM and absolutely dreading it. DP has been such a massive help, both emotionally and generally doing a greater share of nappy changes and night feeds as I’m still recovering from pelvic girdle, an infection after birth, plus what I’ve been told is ‘baby blues’.

I feel like I could really still do with him being at home, and just wondered if anyone knew if he would be able to extend the one week Paternity Leave he had taken (plus one week holiday) to two weeks or is it too late? Or if anyone had any other suggestions?

I know I’ll be fine once he does go back, it would just be nice to have a bit longer the three of us! Any tips on getting through the first couple of days/weeks on my own would be appreciated too

Thank you x

I'm sure he could, but it might not help you in the long term. My top tip would be make sure you can work everything before he goes back, I remember my first day on my own when I realised DH had been doing everything physical and I couldn't work the car seat, couldn't put the pram down etc etc, total nightmare!

You'll be fine, get out if you can, stay in your pyjamas if you want to, just go easy on yourself.

Congratulations on your beautiful baby and take care to make sure you speak up if your baby blues get any worse.

I would advise the sooner he goes back and you get yourselves into a routine the better. Of course you are apprehensive about being on your own with your LO but honestly you will be fine, don’t sweat the small stuff at home just take another few weeks to establish a routine for you and your baby before you start worrying about things that need doing in the home. Have fun getting to know your baby.

You’ll feel the same whenever he goes back I think, even if he has another week off.
After DD2 was born I ended up back in hospital with sepsis (in intensive care for 3 days). I had a 19 month old at home with a broken leg (in plaster) too. I was absolutely dreading him going back to work and had no idea how we’d cope.
But we did. We got out of the house as much as possible (it was this time of year so the weather was decent and we could get out and about). After a few days we started to get into a rhythm. DH went back for about then booked another weeks annuals leave which meant we had something to look forward to. Could he do something like that?

My DP went back to work when our baby was 2 weeks old too, and he was completely taking care of the house/cooking/other two kids so it was a massive shock! Since you only have one I’m sure you’ll be absolutely fine. Just relax, don’t worry about the house or anything else other than focusing on your little one and bonding and resting m. Get out if you want to but personally at two weeks I wasn’t even remotely upto it. Don’t push yourself, so bare minimum and enjoy your time together

Ah my DO actually works at the other side of the country. Sorry I misread. Yeah you’ll be fine if he’s just working and then coming home. Don’t worry

DP*

I think everyone feels the same. It’s quitw frightening being on your own initially- especially with your first.
But it’s anazing how quickly it becomes normal. That said it’s important you have support with all you’ve gone through. Any family who could come for a while?

Of he can ask work for another week AL why not?

But whenever he dies go back to work, there are little things that can really help.
My DP used to make me a sandwich for lunch before he went to work and I had a snack and drink box next to the sofa so I could drink plenty at least if pinned to the sofa for hours under a feeding or sleeping baby.
Had one of these in the bedroom too for the night feeds 😁

I have a 15 day old boy also FTM
My DP went back on Monday and it hasn't been as bad as I thought! I've kept busy with visitors and been to Tesco for some nappies visited my mum registered baby at gp surgery been to work to introduce baby etc
He has been lucky enough to be able to take another week off next week as a holiday
Can your DP do this x

You'll be fine if he does go back to work!

My DH went back on Monday and it's been great, I'm now in my own little routine, I do all the night Feeds myself and I nap when baby does if need be. When DH comes home from work after we've had dinner he helps out a bit which gives me some me time, whether I sit and talk rubbish with him or have a bath it's nice to have him about then.

Not sure if this will help but I felt the same! Dp went on first overnight work trip yesterday and I was dreading it as baby is two weeks old.
Fast forward and I loved it. Me and baby had a lovely night and day, I even slept better oddly as I wasn't so stressed about his crying waking up the household
Don't put pressure on yourself to do too much and build up slowly.
Could your other relatives call round while he's at work or friends?

Hubbie has been home for just over a week. He has two weeks off and two weeks a/l. I am dreading him going back. Two weeks seems far to short a time for dad's to be off. He's amazing with our son and is picking up so much stuff that I'm too in pain/ too exhausted to do. I wish we had a Scandinavian or Canadian Maternity/ paternity leave set up where both parents get a decent amount of time off.

@Bibijayne first of all congratulations on the birth of your son I’ll be honest with you, it was hard when DP went back to work. I cried a lot that week, and hated seeing him leave in the morning. He did most of the stuff whilst I was recovering, and I couldn’t imagine how I could do it all on my own! But you just do the build up was hard too though, I couldn’t eat in the days leading up to him going back to work as I was so anxious, but I should have just been enjoying the days we did have together! I put a lot of pressure on myself to get ‘back to normal’ that first week, to have a routine. I cleaned the house when I could, cooked tea, even forced myself to leave the house and get some shopping. But all of that made everything so much more stressful. The week after this I just focussed on myself and DS, and felt so much better and even proud of myself! Who cares if the house is a mess! It really really does get better, and soon you’ll be wondering what you were worried about in the first place! DP has been off sick this past week due to personal reasons (I think it affects Dads more than we realise, too), and as lovely as it has been to have him home, I’m looking forward to getting back into our little routine! My mum also comes over quite regularly, do you have family/friends that can come give you a hand or just some company? But enjoy the time you have with your hubby those 4 weeks may fly by but so will the ones when he’s back at work! DS is 7 weeks today!

You can do it! Make sure there is plenty of food in and just look after baby.
Dh went back to work after 2 days and I had no family, but luckily I was mobile and able to get about. He was home by 4 so not too long a day.