I've always tended to assume the worst and catastrophise. I think my friends would be surprised but I am very paranoid about my friendships and have times when I assume most people don't like me (I'm able to counteract this with a sensible voice that says this is highly unlikely).
I want more mum friends and I want more from the mum friends I do have, but don't know how to go about it. I'm outwardly sociable but I do think I withdraw in order to not look desperate.
My biggest worry (!) is my nct group. We all get on well and meet weekly, but I really really just want to organise informal drinks, for example. Locally, after babys bedtime. The problem is that some of the group can't do this due to OH working really late, so we end up organising an "event" which is great, but also three months in advance.
I want to crack below the surface of these friendships but truly don't know how. We all get on enough that there aren't any natural splinter groups. Though that doesn't stop me from being paranoid that the others meet up in twos or threes occasionally. They probably don't and again, I keep this strictly to myself.
I also feel isolated in baby classes as most mums go in nct pairs or small groups, and have little interest in expanding their social group.
It really gets me down some days. I know not working and pinning my current and future social life on these interactions adds pressure (fun day with nct = life is good. Not so fun/not much to talk about/miss a meetup- life is bad and I have no friends). I shouldn't put such pressure or focus on this but I can't help it. Too much thinking time.
What can I do?!