Postnatal anxiety

[Katie900]

Hi, I'm currently 10 weeks postpartum with my first child. I had a long and traumatic labour resulting in severe anxiety and exhaustion. After the first couple of weeks, once the baby blues passed, I began to feel like myself again. Now, weeks later, I find myself crippled with anxiety. I know postnatal depression can manifest itself in many ways but I feel this is more anxiety based. Has anyone had a similar experience? I absolutely adore my son and love being his mum. I don't understand the anxiety or know what has caused it.
I am also understandably suffering from sleep issues. I was always a good sleeper before but now I find myself going days without sleep or very little each night. Has anyone had something similar? Did it pass?

Congratulations on your baby! I had post natal anxiety with my second. I didn’t even know it was a “thing”, my lovely doctor clocked it a mile off and reassured me how common it is. I would book in to see your doctor and talk it through with them. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind sometimes and always on the verge of a full on panic attack (I genuinely believed I was having a heart attack at one point). I’m still not anxiety free two years later but somehow knowing what it is makes it easier to cope, good luck.

Thank you.
I didn't realise it was a thing either to be honest. Did you need medication to help?
Also how did you find the anxiety affected your sleep? I go into complete panic mode the moment I shut my eyes

I have exactly the same thing, I suffer from anxiety sometimes anyway, so I knew straight away and told my HV and GP as soon as possible.

I had a pretty awful labour where I was refused pain relief as there was no room for me in the labour ward, and gas and air was not permitted in the antenatal ward. I had no midwife with me, so pushed too early causing ragged membranes, so not the best start! Then because of my awful labour, my milk was slow to come in, I barely produced any colostrum and he midwives basically told me not to bother breastfeeding.

My baby is 9 weeks now and was diagnosed with reflux at about 4 weeks. I’ve really struggled with getting his medication right and the whole experience has just put me on edge about every little thing now. We had an exceptionally bad week where we took shifts sitting up with him through the night as he screamed until he passed out, woke up again and screamed until he passed out again. I used to lay in bed crying as I heard the screams from downstairs as my husband tried to comfort him.

I struggle to relax now as his crying literally terrifies me. Im scared of my own baby. Even though now I know his different cries and how to soothe most of them, I’m haunted by the experience we had with the reflux. I now am just left with an overwhelming feeling of “what the hell have I done”. I’m often terrified of going to classes etc as I’m scared he’ll have a meltdown and I won’t be able to soothe him, even though I know I can. I’m now going through a bout of insomnia where my jaw is so tight I just can’t fall asleep, even though I’m exhausted.

After an awful day today trying to get him to nap, I’m phoning a private counsellor tomorrow to get this sorted, as I can’t keep feeling like this.

You’re not alone Katie900. It’s a thing, and I’m feeling it too.

I forgot to mention...they did eventually let me in to a labour ward, I was already 8cm by then, and had lost quite a bit of blood. I then proceeded to push for 2 hours before they used a kiwi cup.

Gosh naurts you’ve really been through it, I hope it all starts to get easier for you and settles down. All you can do is take an hour at a time. Katie, to start with it was worse during the day for me, for much the same reason as naurts. I’d be convinced something dreadful was about to happen to dc, they’d choke or fall badly -all sorts of terrible scenarios would play through my mind and looking back I can see how stressful it was for my dp to as I became visibly distressed. Then, at night I would lay awake fretting about all the things that could go wrong, I’d be frequently in their rooms checking they were still breathing. My gp did put me on medication and it stopped the adrenaline rush which helped me see things clearer, I haven’t needed them for over a year but they are there if I did need them (long expiry!). It gets easier, I often have to have a word with myself if I can feel it creeping back but do ask for help, don’t suffer and struggle.