How to be happy? Forgotten what it feels like

[Foreverstressed28]

I don't know what I'm after with this thread but just wanted to ask how I can help myself feel happy again?

I developed post natal anxiety and depression after dd2 and for the past 18 months buried my head in sand and hoped it would go away. It didn't. I've finally got myself CBT sessions and hoping it would help.

In the mean time what can I do in my life to feel happy again? I don't remember how I used to feel when I didn't feel like this. I see people laugh and I can't imagine what can be making them so happy.

I have two beautifil kids, a life I dreamt of 15 years ago so I don't understand my sadness.

I've started taking vitamins, taking high dose omega 3 as meant to be good for mind and brain and do the odd hot yoga when I can. I'm eating healthier and drinking 3 litres of water but this deep sadness and anxiety won't shift.

I'm constantly paranoid that something bad will happen. I make stuff up in my head like "my kid must have this and that health or developmental problem", "what if my husband decides to divorce" following any normal marital disagreement and I' basically going a bit crazy

I can totally relate to this, I’m in a similar boat. I’ve had cbt before too and found it really useful but for some reason cant seem to do anything about it this time. I know if i went to the doctor i’d feel better but i just keep thinking things will hopefully improve.
So a major dose of ‘practice what you preach” but i’ve found in the past just taking that first step even just booking a doctors appointment will make you feel a bit better and able to tackle the next step.

Tooo me 2 years but I'm coming out of the haze. Able to look to the future more.

Are you on antidepressants op?

Collywombles no im not but I have just started having Cbt

Okay. CBT can be brilliant and I hope that will be the case for you. If it isn't though, please consider antidepressants. It sounds like you are trying so hard to beat depression, that's amazing. But if you have tried all natural methods and it's not working, try the tablets. Good luck x

Agree, it took me a combo of CBT and anti depressants to shake mine. You will feel happy again, I promise.

Everyone keeps telling me to avoid AD and that it just masks the problem.

I'm scared of being stuck on them forever and not being able to come off it.

That’s pretty old-fashioned talking. Also anti depressants are not addictive. I’ve taken them and come off them no issue.

Oh OP. I know people mean well but it makes me so sad to read that. I doubt those same people would tell a diabetic not to take insulin. I know how scary the prospect of taking antidepressants is. But twice now they have saved my life. You don't have to be on them forever, some people have a short course of 6 months, some for a year. First time I was a year and a half. This time I'm not planning on coming off them. I believe my depression is generic, my whole family suffers either depression, anxiety or both and many use alcohol to try and cope. I don't want that for myself. I love the person I am, without depression.

I've tried counselling, cbt, self help etc over the years. A brain can stop working as well as it should as much as any organ in our bodies.

Hello forever stressed. You sound just like I was about a year ago. I was highly anxious after the birth of my dh 4 years ago and had counselling and took ADs but only for a short time as I wanted another child. Dd is now 18 months. By the time she was 3 mths old I couldn’t sleep because I was anxious I would miss her waking up ... so was just floored all day by lack of sleep which just fuelled more anxiety. Typically I am not this kind of person and it’s now shocking to me to think who I became when I was ill. And I was ill. Started taking ads again and it took maybe 12 months for me to feel myself again. But was already miles better after a few months. I found it hard to do anything before even driving to the shops I was so worried about every little thing and now I am the strong capable person I was before. I have just halfed my dose and am now on a tiny amount daily and will Work off it slowly. I would highly recommend a long chat with your doctor maybe some kind of talking therapy aside from
Cbt - I had this but found it so hard to learn from it when I was anxious but some of it still really resonates with me now and is useful to reflect on if I feel myself going off track. And yes do think about medication. Initially it’s not nice, but it works for millions of people and take it for a while and come off it when there brain chemistry has readjusted. Your situation really doesn’t have to be permanent. Big hugs x

Ladiesfirst thank you so much for your reply. It's so helpful. I am just so shocked at the person I have become since feeling this way, I honestly don't remember myself.

I live each day in complete misery and dread and keep thinking if only there was a magic or spell that would make it all go away. So I suppose AD is what I am after. My CbT therapy hasn't been great so I'm now looking to change to someone else but feel aware that because of how long I've left it that I probably need a mixture of help.

It doesn't help that my DH is afraid of me going on medication. His sister is bipolar and his mum has been on and off ADs all her life so he's afraid of "mental health" problems again with his loved one in his life. Which I can see because his family made his life hell. But at the same time it cripples me to think of living my life like how I am feeling.