Zero sex drive ... is this normal?!

[pomadas87]

I've just scrolled through the post-natal health board and realised most women have had sex post-partum by now as DD is 4 months.

I had a pretty horrendous labour (induction, baby got stuck, episiotomy, rotational forceps, huge tear, couldn't sit down for 2 weeks etc etc...). Feel okay now but scar tissue feels pretty obvious but it all looks alright.

My main issue is that I just have zero sex drive. None whatsoever. I quite like cuddling DH but I just don't fancy sex at all. It's not me being scared of it hurting but rather that I'm just not interested. Is this normal? Will it return?! Should I just do it anyway and remind myself it's actually rather good?

Would be interested to hear if others found this too!

Nope you're not alone, I was all touched out. Took me a while to reconnect any sexual feelings at all.

Are you breastfeeding?
Think I have read somewhere before about a link between lack of interest and bf xx

I find my sex drive in the pregnancy itself is normal to good, but post delivery it vanishes. Doesn’t recover properly till I stop feeding. And when we do have sex everything is very dry and not great. All hormonal and normal, esp when you factor in the lack of sleep.

Yes, I think completely normal. We didn’t have sex until 7 months pp with our first (2nd is 6 weeks and definitely not thinking about it anytime soon). I can’t imagine it would be before 4 months. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t have any sex drive per se. I’m just not sure it was something I had time and energy to think about. Neither of us were getting much sleep. We didn’t have much quality time together to relax and get in the mood in the evenings. And we were bedsharing so we had to do it somewhere besides our bed (as there was a baby in it!). I definitely wasn’t feeling that adventurous! Mostly then as now, I (well both of us) just wanted to go to bed l. So yes, certainly normal amongst people I know.

I'm with you on this (ds is 5 months). I read that hormones of BFing pp mums are similar to menopausal women (which is maybe also why you get the sweats in the early days and definitely the reason behind being a bit like the Sahara down there....)

Sounds like I had a similar labour to you 3 months ago, although I'm still feeling sore and tender However my sex drive is OK, not brilliant but enough that DP and I dtd around once a week... It's painful though so often kills the mood for me!

It's early days though so don't worry about it, just enjoy closeness in other ways for now.