Cheer up a new mother please

[babayagga]

Reaching out to anyone who knows how this feels: my ten-week-old daughter has relapsed to feeding every two hours at night (having gone up to 3-4 hours of sleep already) and has been cluster-feeding with increasing avidity for three days now.

It’s getting worse: she naps for ten minutes, wakes up, looks for nipple, if it’s not there, she gets hysterical straight away. I am sitting up in bed with really greasy hair, a nightgown smelling of soured milk, surrounded by piles of undone laundry and all the baby contraptions (cot, Moses basket, playgym, mobile, bouncing chair) that I have spent a small fortune on that are no good because all she wants to do is hang off my breast.

The most depressing thing is that we’d already made progress with spacing out feeds, encouraging independence, etc., and now that’s all been erased.

She has been on Colief, which seems to have sped up her digestion, and I suspect she feeds to self-soothe as she tries to pass wind and stool (with limited success).

My nipples are about to fall off.

Firstly, get rid of the notion of 'encouraging independence' that you speak of. Your baby is 10 weeks old. It won't happen and neither should it - lower your expectations of her. Bfing on demand is demanding. She may be going through a leap/growth spurt etc which may answer the upping of feeding. Again, it's normal and I don't think it's for comfort at that age. Have you tried a dummy at all? Would you consider mixed feeding to give yourself and your nipples a break? Is she gaining weight etc?

I sound very unsympathetic I think but I'm not - I ebfd and still by and cosleep at 2y5mo. But what she's doing is totally normal. Use that 10min nap time to jump in the shower. May be use a sling so you can potter about the house doing laundry etc. I know it's tough. Google the 4th trimester and give yourself a break

She won’t go in a sling anymore, though she used to like it up to six weeks or so.

I do use a dummy but she’s been spitting it out.

They say growth spurts are supposed to last 24-36 hours at her age, not a week?..

By ‘encouraging independence’ I mean being OK with being put down for two minutes, not filing her own taxes or anything... To each his own, but I certainly hope we’re not still co-sleeping in two years’ time!

Will Google the fourth trimester.

Hello I have an almost 10 week old here and although I can't really help with the breastfeed/clingyness issue I was wondering if you had help and what kind of days you have with her?
My girl gets really grumpy when she gets bored so we go out and out, do things and meet people. Yes at first I really struggled because the "omg she's crying and I really can't pick her up right now" would instantly strike in. It gets better!
I have a stretchy wrap sling. She hates the craddle hold but loves the hug hold as she can look around and see the world. She had a time of disliking it but came around eventually as she craved more hugs and I finally was able to realise when she got overtired and how to soothe her to sleep. (I make sure she is fed, clean and comfortable then I fight hug her until she stops yelling and sleeps).
I do use the dummy but it might be easier for me as she bottle feeds. She spits it out a lot and I keep putting it back in. Sometimes I help her out by holding it steady. Looks awful but works!

It will get better! Remember to give yourself a break once in a while so perhaps the odd expressed milk bottle may bring you some relief.
If you are too tired and unhappy it will make things much harder on you so take care of yourself.

My 10 week old goes in and out of routines seemingly on a weekly basis. I never know what my nights will be like and so I feel your pain. It really gets to you.

I think it helped me to just accept that I will be tired and that everyday will be different. Also that this will not last forever.

A sling has been a lifesaver too. He sometimes fights against it but he fights naps anyway and so at least I get the laundry done (and he generally sleeps for longer which is a bonus). I think my little man is high needs and so the closeness does seem to make him calmer.

I never knew how lonely being a new mum could make you feel. Its difficult enough to get dressed for the day, let alone go out to visit anyone. Just think that next week everything could be different again. Keep going momma, your doing amazing