Uterine (and bladder) rupture and just a bit glum all of a sudden

[Rorymum]

Hi everyone, I had a VBAC and my uterus and bladder ruptured. My baby was absolutely fine and miraculously so was I and thankfully the damage was repaired.

I just suddenly feel glum about it. It's like a bad dream and I doubt we'll have more children for logical reasons but this has kind of stopped me from considering it. I also feel that my having babies has somehow ended on a bad note. Ive just found out my sister in law is pregnant and I just feel desperately left out or behind or even jealous. I'm hideous! My baby is gorgeous and I adore her and I should be enjoying her. I'm just down and can't shake it. Maybe I'm tired. I was warned that this can happen and become ptsd. Has anyone else had this or something similar?
Thank you

Awww sorry you’re feeling low, but you went through a traumatic birth by the sounds of things which can really take it out of you- psychologically and emotionally!
How old is your daughter now? X

And yes- I had an extremely traumatic birth 3 months ago and it has made me consider if I would ever be able to go through that again. I don’t meet the definition of ptsd but I feel that somewhere along the way I might need some form of counselling to help emotionally heal after everything that happened. I don’t think that this is uncommon after a traumatic birth.
I wouldn’t say I feel jealous of other women but definitely at times a bit resentful of all the majority of women who have a normal and even positive birth. Mine is such a negative memory and clouded in fear and sadness. I find this really sad :(

I know how you feel as my uterus ruptured when I went into labour just before a planned section. We had certainly been considering having DC4 but the uterine rupture put a stop to that. It's horrible feeling that the decision has been taken out of my hands, but in a way it has made me ensure I enjoy DC3 as I know this is my last child. That said, you could have PND in addition, and it's hard to know what is normal baby blues, what is PND, and what is due to your traumatic birth experience. There's no harm in going to see your GP if you are struggling to come to terms with all these feelings surrounding the birth and lack of future DC.

Oh that is so sad and so so familiar. My first and second births have left me feeling just like that. Have you had a debrief? Counselling might be really helpful just to find some peace? 3 months is still early days to have found your way with it. Thank you for your reply.

Thanks sugarmice. I think that's it- it's being told and it not being a natural decision. I am trying to treasure every moment but I'm foggy with the moods. With my first daughter I swear I can remember every second but this time im worried it's just passing me by and I'm missing it. I suppose I don't want to let go because I won't get to do it again. It's good to speak to someone else who has been through it and has a positive spin.