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Coping with BPD

2 replies

Hubbadubba · 02/02/2018 15:47

How do other mums cope with BPD after having a child? I was diagnosed at 19, now 24. Medication also effects feeling and tiredness.
I feel so guilty over my sons development (socially mostly) due to my mental health. He's 2 and 3 Months but clingy and shy, which I feel is completely my fault, we don't go out much and due to bpd and major social anxiety I naturally avoid socialising, and tbh I'm never approached by any other mums for conversation at e.g soft play, the park etc.
I even joined mummy social and mush but to no avail no one wants to talk to me (I openly stated I have bpd so they understand why I'm the way I am). I have no close family except my partners mum and honestly can barely get out the house unless walking partners mums dog or food shopping. I'm so lonely, but my concern is my son. I'd hate for him to be like me, always wondering why no one likes them. He's due to join nursery when he turns three and I'm hoping that'll boost his confidence and make plenty of friends.
Any tips, suggestions or advice? Success stories? And how did you make friends? Tia

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Naomilj · 06/02/2018 12:35

Hi OP,
I don’t have BPD but have depression and anxiety (not bad at the moment) - and share the same concerns with my 2 year old DS due to my lack of socialisation with other mums. I’m also pregnant so ideally want to start again and go to playgroups more.

Are you seeing anyone for talking therapy? Even if you’re happy with your current treatment plan, being a mother to a toddler brings a complex dynamic and it might be good to get some additional support for that.

Generally speaking though, I don’t think you should feel guilty about your DS. I’m sure he has a loving and supportive home, also you’ve mentioned that he’ll start nursery when he’s 3 which will get him used to being around others. I don’t think him being shy is necessarily a bad thing, he’s just at his most secure with you which isn’t abnormal.

Hubbadubba · 06/02/2018 20:20

I appreciate the response.

I think I just need a kick up the bum to get myself out more, and hope for the best with DS development socially etc after joining nursery, he loves company I just worry about his social skills but we'll see.

I have done CBT in the past and counselling when I was a lot younger but never felt it was helping, I asked to change medication to ease the tiredness but they've all been the same (or had worse side effects), so just trying my best with the little energy I have. Just sad I have no friends (and even more so with no family but hey ho)

Congrats and best of luck with your pregnancy! X

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