Hi I'm new to here I'm looking for some advice.
I had my 2nd baby 10 weeks ago and I'm finding things really difficult.
My first was a walk in the park compared to this I just feel like I'm struggling and not coping but keep putting a brave face on over fear of getting judged.
Ds was 4 weeks early and we have had a horrible time with reflux which we are getting under control with meds now but it's been very hard.
My husband has not been coping well with new baby and it's made me feel like I'm on my own. He thinks he has post natal depression (never had any problems with his mood before)
He can't cope with ds crying if he try's feeding him and changing nappy and it doesn't solve it he gets really frustrated.
He doesn't really help out much He's started getting up for the first morning feed but then he will just put ds Back in his crib next to me after the feed when he's at the stage where he wants to get up for the day. He then starts crying and I end up getting up. He still wakes every 3 hours during the night so I'm not getting much rest and I'm basically on my knees with exhaustion.
It's got to the point I won't ask dh to do anything as it infuriates me when he starts getting frustrated with the baby. He complains he is tired all the time but yet he doesn't even get up for feeds during the night but then when I even mention that I'm tired he gets defensive. He says he wants to try give me more sleep but he can never work out what ds wants when he is crying.
He says he has pnd but what he is unaware of is his actions are actually causing me to fall into a depression. I feel so alone and isolated I do not have any friends family don't really visit regular. I'm not eating well at all and pretty much won't eat or less something is handed to me. This is not out of laziness I just have no inclination to want to eat. I'm tired constantly I lost a lot of blood during delivery (a litre and a half) I think I may be anemic but can't get an appointment to get bloods checked as they are fully booked for weeks. It's not been checked since hospital and I don't know if this is contributing to my mood. Times I'm ok then I just feel like a dark cloud is over me. I love ds dearly but I'm just finding it hard. I'm resenting dh as his life has not changed at all and he is always able to do what ever he wants. Where as I can't even eat a hot meal. I go to eat dinner and ds cries I attend to him then it's cold don't know if I have took the attitude now that there is no point even trying. Some days I just sit in the house and cry for hours this is not normal. I also am very over anxious about sids to the point at times when I can sleep I am awake watching and worrying which I think has came from ds choking with his reflux a few times and going blue. I don't know if it's sleep deprivation causing me to feel so bad.
I'm sorry for the very long post any advice much appreciated. I think if I had better support at home I would feel better but I don't know the best way to address this. Dh says he is ashamed of how he is but is just struggling this time round. Just want everything to be better and start to feel human again x