Can you have PND if you have bonded with your baby?

[pemberleypearl]

I'm not sure whether it's fair to consider if I do have PND, or just "normal" depression. Or maybe I'm just tired. So apologies in advance.

As the title says - I have bonded with my DD (6 months). No issues there.

I do worry about her health sometimes and worry if something bad is going to happen. But then again we have legitimately had to go to hospital a few times so maybe it's normal for me to feel that way.

I do get along and have genuine good fun times with friends and family.
But on the other hand I know I am snapping a lot at my mum, who I live with. It's not anything she's done - she's great. But sometimes (not every day but often) I just feel instant anger and I snap. I'm ashamed to say that I nearly threw something across the room the other week (only didn't because it was too heavy - it was a Hoover for God's sake).

I am struggling coming to terms with my labour and my GP has referred for counselling. Just awaiting an appointment.

I just feel like everything is a massive effort. Showering, brushing teeth, washing face and brushing hair. Cooking or preparing food for myself (my mum pretty much makes me food but if she's not here I can go until evening without having eaten). Or, on the other hand I'm sometimes eating absolutely loads but all snacks. I think I'm distracting myself with food sometimes.

I can't sleep. I wake up lots during the night and it's not because of my DD, who has slept mum 8 hours at night from 6 weeks. I'm then exhausted in the morning and don't want to get up.

I'm having a bad day today and need something to change. Ideas?

Just to note - I don't want to meet other mum's to chat and I get out with baby every day for a walk.

My health visitor warned me specifically that lack of bonding was not the only form pnd took and to look out for any change from my normal

Yes. You can have a fantastic bond with your baby and still have pnd. Would you consider taking medication, at least in the short term while you wait for your counselling appointment?

I've looked at medication but feel concerned about the side effects. I know they would probably be short term, but I don't think I can risk feeling unwell with the baby.

Not everyone gets side effects at all from ADs. And if you do get side effects you can always stop taking them. I have tried several ADs over the years and In my experience even the ones that did cause side effects were better, overall, than living with an untreated mental illness.