Tongue tie, feeding issues, reflux, miserable

[MsBranwen]

feeding my baby has been tough since the start as he’s never latched well so needs me to pretty much hold him on the boob. He also has bad gas and reflux, sick after every feed and really unsettled at night. A bf counsellor suggested he might be tongue tied and yesterday we saw a Lactation consultant who confirmed this and performed the tt division, she also said he had high palate and short tongue so this would also make his latch shallow. I’m worried my supply will start to fade if he’s not draining the Breast when feeding.

I just feel so miserable about it all. I know it might take a while to see an improvement following the division, but what if it never improves? I had been really looking forward to breastfeeding but I hate it. I love my baby but I don’t enjoy him.

Have seen GP and been referred for cbt for anxiety but not sure how to cope before that gets started.

Does anyone have any wisdom or words of comfort?

Hang in there sweetheart.if you are worried supply will dry up express some as this will make breasts think more is needed
Newborns are a lot of work and you need to be kind to yourself.have you any help?

I feel for you. I've had two babies with tongue.tie and.it is awful. The pain, the weight loss, the worry.

How is your baby's weight? What are the nappies.like?

I would try to hold out for a week to get a clear.idea if the division has made a difference, personally.

Thank you! Weight gain has actually been good so far and nappies seem good (though greenish so think not getting enough hind milk as not draining breast?)but I have read about newborns ‘living on the letfown’, I do have quite a fast letdown and so wonder if this is why he’s been ok?

I just started expressing so dh can do a feed at 11 and I can get a bit of sleep but maybe I should be expressing a bit more?

I know that things will get easier (they’d better!) but right now I just feel that I’m not getting anything right.

My daughter was tongue tied, has a high palate also and her tongue doesn't come out very far but no mention of short tongue. She had her tie divided 4 weeks ago and it instantly relieved the majority of her feeding issues.
She had reflux too and a lot of problems with gas which have also partly resolved. The gas issue has gone away and she probably projectile vomits once or twice a week now rather than 3 times a day.
She lives off my let down, her weight gain has been brilliant. That has definitely saved her.
If a Lactation consultant has referred your Baby for the division go for it it will help so much.
There are some videos on YouTube called deep latch technique which helped to retrain my daughters latch before the procedure. She still has a shallowish latch and clicks still but that is now her way of coping with how forceful my letdown is. She will pop on and off, click and choke until the milk has drained down a bit then she's fine, makes no sounds while feeding.
I asked my feeding lady about the green poop and hind milk. She seems to believe there's no such thing. The only difference in the milk is the fat content. The fat gradually comes down into the milk rather than it being in two separate parts of you know what I mean.
I squeeze my nipple slightly after each feed to see what colour the milk is. If it's still fairly clear I'll put my daughter back on that side when she wants to feed again then swap over onto the other side.
In the beginning to keep my supply up I expressed after she had fed from the boob she was on each time a few times a week not all the time.

You can try breast compressions during a feed, to help get the fatty milk down through the ducts. Keep going; if weight gain is good then baby will soon grow and a bigger mouth makes all the difference.

You don't have to continue if it's getting you down. I did with my first and as you say, I loved him but didn't enjoy him as I was anxious about his latch problems and him not getting enough milk.

I started expressing and gradually introduced formula and it helped me so much, my anxiety calmed down a lot, my husband was able to help more and I had a better relationship with my child.

Even my GP has said that formula is so advanced these days there really isn't much difference. Your mental health is more important to your baby's well being than breast milk.

But, you have to do what makes you happy and if you continue, that will also be the right thing to do.

Good luck x

Hang in there. My son was taken to nicu a day after I gave birth to him due to not being able to feed. He wouldn't latch on and also wouldn't take milk from the bottle so was tube fed for days 😔 We were told he has a high palette and a small tongue tie and he has been referred to a language and speech specialist. Now nearly three weeks on he can't get enough milk, sometimes I think it just takes them time. I agree with other suggestions that if you express that will keep the milk coming in. Hang in there x x x ❤️