post natal depression please help

[shoena]

my lo is 8 months old I love her with all my heart but just after she was born in was diagnosed with severe anxiety and pnd. my gp prescribed me citralopram but they made me suicidal so I am now on sertraline. she has recently upped my dosage but they are still not working. I am so so low always sad regular panic attacks and to be honest I'm at the end of my tether. I'm starting to see no way out of this and no end in sight. I am so close to giving up its scaring me. I was attending mental health counselling but I feel it's done more harm than good. this is my last resort. my oh tries so hard as do my family and they are all so supportive. I feel like a failure before I had this i was so bubbly and outgoing and right now I feel I will never be myself again. please please help

Hey hun- the most important thing to remember is that you have a mental health condition that can and will subside and can leave you feeling like a stronger person. I can totally relate to how you are feeling- I have 3 children but have postnatal anxiety after number 3- there are lots of things you can do to help yourself- try writing down your thoughts -fears-worries- no matter what they are - try to keep yourself balanced by doing some exercise and eating well- go back to gp and ask for CBT therapy which could help change how you are thinking in a negative cycle right now - read read read books on postnatal depression and anxiety- it's amazing how NOT ALONE you are- there are a lot of women around you feeling JUST THE SAME as you and they have come through it. So will you. You ARE that happy smiley carefree girl you described - she is still you - she is in there hun and she hasn't gone away. you are not a different person: your circumstances have changed- but what makes you YOU has not changed. Xxx i just wanted to reply to let you know I'm thinking of you- I get it - I've been there and I am out the other side and at one point in my darkest days I really couldn't have imagined it xxx

I’ve suffered from depression for about 15 years on and off (including PND) and it’s horrible. Give the anti-depressants time to start working and if necessary up the dose. You need to be able to feel yourself again and they can help, if they’re not then perhaps ask to try something else.
Do you get chance got some time out? Sometimes I just need space to do what I want rather than constantly thinking about what DD wants.
It’s hard but please don’t give up, keep pestering your GP if you’re not feeling any better and get the hell you need. Feel free to PM me if you want

I am so sorry you are going through this. As one of the ladies above mentioned, you are not alone. I am a new mum to a beautiful little boy of nearly five months, I have also been dealing with terrible PND/PNA and I know exactly what you are going through. You can feel so alone and scared, not to mention exhausted. I am currently receiving CBT which helps, but sometimes feel it is not enough. Very recently I decided to start keeping a daily journal, I write absolutely everything down, how I have felt that day and what fears have entered into my mind. At the end of each day I also write down what I am grateful for from that day. It is definitely helping a little bit. Also, when you are feeling particularly low, put on a guided meditation to help you relax and calm down. Lastly, if you ever need to talk please feel free to message me, personally I feel nothing has helped me more than talking to others, especially if its women who know what I am going through x