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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

Hate post partum body

40 replies

Bella8 · 27/10/2017 15:20

Hi all, I'm now 8 months postpartum and I hate the way my body looks. I secretly sit and cry about it then feel so guilty for feeling like this as I know it's incredibly vain. I can cope with my boobs looking droopier than before after 6 months of breast feeding but my stomach used to be the part of my body I liked the best and now it is ruined. I hate how this is affecting my confidence and will myself to pull myself together! I keep seeing women who have a few marks and they think theirs are bad but I'd be pleased if I came off that lightly. I have severe stretch marks all over my abdomen from my pubic region right up to just under/on line with my belly button. I could cope if they were just marks but they are ridges and some of them are very wide and you can feel them when run hand over it's like spot the bit of normal skin as it's more stretch marks than normal skin! I know it sounds vain but I don't want my stomach as a badge of honour, my baby is the only badge of honour that I need. I feel so ugly and it's ruining my sex life and I feel for my poor DH. I haven't let him touch my stomach as you can feel the ridges and all over and it's gross and it makes me feel so unattractive i have no sex drive because of this. I'm worried my DH will get sick of me because I don't want sex and feel so disgusting. On the odd occasion we have had sex it's uncomfortable for me. I had a slight second degree tear so nothing out of the ordinary but the muscle still aches and doesn't feel the same. I knew things would
Be different after birth and that I'd get some stretch marks but nothing to this degree. Please help. How can I stop feeling so ugly?

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Original poster

Bella8 · 30/10/2017 15:17

I know SpoonfulOfJam I think back to how I used to look when I was younger; I was a uk size 8 and super toned with not a pick of cellulite and can't believe I used to think I was fat then!! If only my younger self could have seen me now haha!

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AnnabelFan · 30/10/2017 15:33

I feel your pain. I escaped the stretch marks but have so much loose skin on my stomach despite getting back down to my usual weight. There are so many folds when I sit down .. kind of pleated effect!

Original poster

Bella8 · 30/10/2017 16:50

AnnabelFan We can't win, me with my stretch marks and you with your loose skin we make a right pair 😊I'm beginning to think at least things look half passable in clothes!

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Sarahh2014 · 30/10/2017 17:04

I was the same after my ds who is now 3.5..i have stretch marks from top of my vag to belly button although they are not red..my boobs are okayish but not what they were I can't offer u any advice other than it's not just u I used to love my stomach now I fucking hate it I suppose it's just part of the having a baby thing

OuchLegoHurts · 30/10/2017 17:10

I'm afraid that this is the reality of having children! Things do improve a lot (it's only been 8 months!) but anyone who has been pregnant..including celebrities...will find their bodies change. Can you compare your body to other mothers' bodies now instead of to young pre-pregnancy women, or your own pre-pregnancy self?

AnnabelFan · 30/10/2017 17:19

Loose tops hide a million sins!! I'm into the slouchy jumper look at the minute!!

Original poster

Bella8 · 30/10/2017 18:16

Very true OuchLegoHurts...I guess I've also been comparing to other celeb mothers who have no stretch marks and are in bikinis...very silly I know!!

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Original poster

Bella8 · 30/10/2017 18:18

AnnabelFan Oh and they're so comfy too and thank god for the winter...great excuse for the jumpers to come out!

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OuchLegoHurts · 30/10/2017 20:49

There are a hell of a lot of celebrity mothers, even the very thin ones, who are never photographed with their stomachs on show. You'll never ever see Victoria Beckham's tummy for example. Going to the gym helps and fake tan hides an absolute multitude, as does sucking it all in and good camera angles, which other celebs use. We all have weaknesses, play to your strengths from now on!

Original poster

Bella8 · 31/10/2017 08:14

Very good point OuchLegoHurts. Thank you for your comment, appreciated and thanks to all who posted. I feel a lot better x

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BagelDog · 31/10/2017 08:24

I can totally understand how you are feeling right now, and being told to be proud of the bits you hate doesn’t help either...

Stretch marks will get better over time. Mine have faded now and are silver lines. Look a lot better when the stomach is flatter and more toned. Took Pilates, regularly and for ages and ongoing to achieve that. Free videos inc special post natal ones they help close the diastasis at pilatesbygeorgia.com are what helped me - could fit in at home when I got half a chance, and she is sane and has three kids herself which is a lot less falling than bein bossed around by a waif-like teenager...

Fake tan helps once they are faded too...

Surgery can help once you have finished having children, can make things flatter and tighter and can remove some of the skin excess but unlikely to be able to remove all the stretch marked area. Defo wait till no more pregnancies planned though.

I found exercise helped not just my making things look better but generally made me feel more positive about everything, was a huge factor is shifting my post natal depression, my psychologist basically made me get back to running and the effect was huge, and totally unrelated to any physical improvement. Nice to see my body as useful and able to achieve something positive for me not just for babies.

Hope you feel better about things soon xx

Original poster

Bella8 · 31/10/2017 08:41

Thank you BagelDog. Wow you've done amazingly well and the fact you've done all that after suffering PND shows your strength and sheer determination. I like the idea of seeing our bodies for much more than just creating babies. I think it's too easy to fall into the latter category after becoming Mothers and being told to accept this is just how things are now. Why should we accept it as you say we shouldn't feel physically limited now and it's a long road but we can build ourselves up and do some things just for us as well. I'm like you and when I exercise I feel better about everything xx

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mintich · 31/10/2017 11:15

I'm almost at 6 months post partum and still not in my old clothes. I managed to put on 3 stone, lost a stone and a half and now have another stone and a half to lose. I too have the ridges!

Original poster

Bella8 · 31/10/2017 16:10

Thanks mintich, I have only noticed that my stomach has gone down quite abit now at 8 months and I'm fitting in my clothes normally and don't look 3 months pregnant anymore. Think it's when it went down though that I noticed all of the stretch marks as couldn't bare to look previously 😬!! You are only at the 6 month stage so still very early.

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Original poster

Bella8 · 31/10/2017 16:11

Oh and the ridges; they're awful aren't they, I feel like they are like worms under the skin as well- how gross!!

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