Post Natal struggle for a friend...help!

[Lozzie88]

Hello mums
This is a cry for help for a friend. She has an 11 month old little boy. The father left them when he was 6 months because he couldn't 'cope' with her PND. Turns out he was cheating on her, barely sees their son, makes out he's the doting dad. Plus he's started to make life more difficult for her by being nasty. I know she sees a counsellor once a week and has CBT sessions. She is really struggling at the moment with everything after her OH leaving, her boy not sleeping, he just screams so she's barely getting an hours sleep a night then driving to work and doing a full day. I'm so worried about her. Please can anyone offer any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. TIA

How is she financially? Could she afford a night nanny, or is there anybody else who could have the baby overnight? I think once she's had a few solid nights sleep she'll be able to think clearly enough to make whatever longer term changes would help.

Thank you. No she's not great financially. Any maintenance that her and her OH agreed he's totally gone against it and paid next to nothing. She lives in Gloucester, dad in Cornwall and mum in Manchester. So she has no family close by. I live in Sussex so it's very difficult for me to help her other than over the phone

That's very tough.

Could she see whether homestart or sure start or another charity operates in her area? Sometimes they have volunteers who can offer some practical help or face to face support.

She must have childcare in the day if she's out at work? If it's really bad she could see her GP and ask to be signed off with stress or exhaustion, keep her son in childcare and use the days to catch up on sleep.

I think often we're in a cycle of being so tired that we can't do anything to change things if that makes sense, so if she can get more sleep just for a while then hopefully everything gets better.

I will certainly get her to look into it thank you.
Her little boy is at childminders one day a week but OH is supposed to have him 2 of the days but tends to cancel last minute, making an excuse why he can't have him. No he's refusing to give her money for childcare. It's just so frustrating that anyone can be like that towards the mother of their child when they are going through so much aswell