Post natal depression - I give up

[Mama2708]

Sorry to moan but I just don't know what to do any more.

My lovely little boy is now 12 months old and by this time I thought I'd have been on the mend. After a traumatic birth I found out I was low in iron, was diagnosed with PND and I'm still really low in vit D and calcium.

I just feel constantly unwell and drained, this makes me feel really down and I'm honestly just giving up hope now that I will ever feel normal again, I'm in total dispair 😩

I work full time in a really demanding job and there's absolutely no chance of reducing my hours (I've tried) and I can't afford to go part time. This is draining the life out of me although I am very very grateful to be financially stable.

Has anyone else been in this position? I'm going to go back the docs again but all they offer me is higher anti-depressants and I don't want to live that way. I don't know how to heal 😭

Hi Mama- I saw your post going unanswered and wanted you to know that i had read it and was thinking about you x it sounds like you MUST put yourself first for a little bit wherever you can. In my experience,waiting for PND to go away is like waiting for flowers to bloom in the snow - its not going to happen - you need to put some support in place to help yourself. Have you thought about counselling? If you are working fyll time then maybe you have some health insurance that could cover some private sesions? (Instead of waiting for NHS which is so stupidly long) I was lucky enough that because I was working I could afford the £50 a pop sessions and just cut back in other areas - to get some private CBT which was totally and utterly invaluable. Like you- I struggled on for far too long- hoping the feeling a and thoughts would just go away by themselves - but talking - and especially to a professional who won't bat a single eyelash at anything you have to say - is just so uplifting. I couldn't recommend it enough. Please make sure you are trying to eat properly - i found getting a nutribullet and hurling loads of veg and fruit in it in a morning meant i got a nice green breakfast packed with vitamins that i could drink on way to work. Reading - lots of books on pnd - anyhing you can get your hands on- take a trip to the library at weekend with wee man or buy on Amazon or eBay 2nd hand - you will be amazed at how many other women feel and have felt EXACTLY THE SAME as you - even if you feel totally alone - you are soooo not. And that is comforting in itself. There are just a few bits that have helped me massively. You will feel better with time and with work on yourself. You are so worth it and if you at not happy or at peace then it will effect those around you. Put yourself first for the sake of your wee boy and reach out for some help and start your process. You will get better and all will be well. Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and I think you are very brave for wanting to get better and putting yourself out here x