Expat Mummy

[MrsG2017]

It's been a while since I posted on here in the pregnancy forums and now I have my beautiful baby boy.

But I'm struggling a little and wondered are there any other expat mummies on here?
How did you feel being away from your loved ones?

My parents visited when DS was 10 days old and we had been in the neonatal unit for most of that time so let's just say their visit didn't go as well as I had dreamed and I to this day feel sadness from it.

I feel guilty for leaving them for them not being able to see My DS, I am shattered because we have no family or real friends here, no one to visit for a cuppa or to mind him for an hour or two and we are so homesick it isn't making for a good mix.

We are dealing with the errors of emigrating and the fears of returning home along with welcoming our wonderful Little boy and I feel like I am not giving him the joy that he should have.

It would just be nice to hear any other expat mums experiences to know I'm not the only one???

Hello

So sorry to hear things have been hard.

You may want to ask for this to be moved to Living Overseas as there are lots of expat mums there.

Do you want to say which country you are in? I am an expat and I our country there was a group for English speaking mums and babies. It was my lifeline when faced with a new sick baby and being alone and far from home and family.

You may also be able to connect with other new mums in your area through living overseas.

If you are in a non English speaking country have you checked to see if there are any American or British women's clubs?
Our local ones run mother and baby meet ups.
I still have friends I met there 17 years ago!

Thank you for your reply i will see if I can get the post moved and will have a look at that section as I hadn't seen that.

I'm in New Zealand which although English speaking can feel far from it at times and is quite isolating.

Thank you for your tips

With a new baby it is such a help to meet other new mums too and share that "in the trenches" so to speak .

If there are no mother and baby groups how about setting up one on Meetup. Suggest a time and place to meet such as a cafe or park and see who comes. I am sure that there are many other new mins nearby who would love done company and friendship.

Mums not mins!
Some not done.

I need to type slower.

Hello. I feel for you as I felt awful after my ds was born - I couldn't do any of the things I had dreamt of because of being abroad and worst of all, I had chosen to be there! Make sure you don't isolate yourself and don't dwell too much on how different things would have been at home. Hard I know!

Hi, I'm an expat mum living in NZ too. My DD is getting on for a year now. Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on having parents around (I'd love DD to be able to spend some time with her granny for instance) but I have a colleague here who had her DS in the UK (so the reverse) and we both agree we've been able to carve out our own rules a little bit without too much well-intended but not-so-wanted advice! I'm in Auckland by the way, what about you?

Meant to say, feel free to PM me if you have any questions. I've met quite a few other UK mums at baby groups here (although I binned most of them off as DD was a screamer as a newborn and I couldn't hear anything ) It can be a bit tough going it alone.

Hi OP - Congratulations on your baby boy! I'm also a new mum in NZ (based in Auckland) so completely understand how you feel. Since I had an emergency c section I was house bound the first few weeks and felt very isolated. Now my little one is 7 weeks old we're getting out and about for walks as often as possible and find some fresh air helps. I also find people here really love babies so even just walking around the shops means lots of people want to talk to you!

Unfortunately time and funds won't allow my family to visit at the moment I'm determined to throw myself into creating my own network here. I've been lucky to have an excellent antenatal group which means I have one group of people to visit with but I've also been investigating mum and baby groups to get out and meet other new mums. So far I've discovered baby sensory classes, wriggle and rhyme (free at auckland libraries) and the space programme. I haven't checked them all out in person yet and probably won't sign up to them all but might be worth you looking at?

I don't know where you are based but feel free to message me if you'd like to meet up or even just to talk.

Congrats! I was heartbroken and lonely having ds away from my family. Now I see out parenting is so different (some of them are downright toxic) I'm bloody glad I'm so far away.

I won't lie, it's hard.

I didn't make friends here until I had ds and having him helped me make loads!