Mental health constant breastfeeding

[chloeistephens]

Hello, I currently have a baby boy who is 4 weeks old. It feels like he is always wanting to be breastfed and I know this is normal but I was wondering when does it slow down? I can't go out because of it or get anything done and it's having a massive mental effect on me but I refuse to give up.

Does anyone have any tips on coping? Or what to do whilst feeding during the day? Or how to stay up at night feeding?

Hello! Sorry you're having such a rough time - and sorry nobody has replied to you until now!

Number one: Please ring your midwife / health visitor about how you are feeling. They will be able to offer you support and advice.

Different babies feed differently, but they all feed A LOT when they are little. My baby was tongue tied and it wasn't diagnosed till he was 7 weeks old, so my boobs got in a massive state and I ended up having to express and then feed him with a bottle for weeks on end. It was knackering and horrible and I felt like I was literally never sleeping.

It did get better.

I also refused to give up breastfeeding. I bf exclusively until he was 9 months, when I introduced a single formula feed in the afternoon to enable me to pick up some more work. My son is now 14 months old and still bf once a day. I am really glad I did it. However, please don't feel like you have to press on regardless. Keep reviewing the situation - think: ok, I'm going to feed him exclusively till the end of this week, then I'll consider my options again. If at the end of each week, you want to carry on bf, then great! If you decide you want to introduce some formula, then that's also great! I reached that point - it was what enabled me to continue breastfeeding the rest of the time!

You will probably be feeling bad too because you aren't getting solid amounts of sleep. I expect someone has already told you that sleep deprivation is a form of torture, but I'm just going to remind you of that, because it is HORRID! Please sleep when you can. If you need help with the housework because you haven't got time to sleep and look after the baby and do everything else, then ask for it. Or just leave the house be for a few weeks (if you can cope with that!). The important thing is a) you feed your baby and b) you get some sleep.

I bought myself a cheap gadget called a 'gimble' from Waterstones, which holds open a book so that you can read no-handed. I read a hell of a lot of books in the first few months of breastfeeding! Turning the pages is a bit awkward but you get used to it. I know people who read a Kindle while breastfeeding and said it was great - but I wasn't sure about holding a wifi device so close to a baby for hours on end.

For night feeding, I used to download podcasts onto my iPod and play them through headphones so that I didn't wake my husband up. I remember feeling verrrrrrrrrrrry sleepy through some of the science ones though! Comedy worked a lot better for me.

I think the biggest thing is to talk to people. Your partner, your family, your friends, your health professionals. You have a four-week-old baby, who you are keeping alive purely through your own milk production! How amazing is that! No wonder you're knackered!!!!

Hugs xx

It does settle and become easier once feeding is established. In the meantime speak to your health visitor, invite people around or be bold enough to venture out for a short while. Just a walk around the block helps or a coffee with friends at their house.

It might be worth trying a few trips out. Mine fed constantly when at home but would go for ages out of the house.

I've just thought - I've also heard of people feeding their baby in a sling, which leaves them with hands free to do other things, poodle around the kitchen etc. Might be worth looking into? x

What happens if you stop feeding, stick him in a sling/buggy and go out? DD fed lots but when I did that, she would protest at first but once outside would be fine. I was told by a breastfeeding support person that sometimes the 'buffet is closed'. She also suggested DH took her out for a walk at weekends so I could sleep. In my case DD was feeding fine but just liked feeding, so it was fine to distract her away from it. Do try and get some support about this. It WILL get better but you need support now to make the right decisions for you.

Also are you happy to feed when out? I would often go somewhere e.g. a baby group or a coffee shop to feed somewhere different! It was more interesting for me and would often distract DD. I did sometimes manage to feed in the sling too so I could make myself a sandwich etc.

If you feel like giving the baby formula would help you feel less trapped/down then don't be afraid to do so. It's not poison. You don't need to persevere with bf if it is going to stop you enjoying your baby. And I say that as someone who is still bf at 19 months. Your mental health is BY FAR the most important thing. If you want to keep bf then seek out some support.

Hiya
My new baby is 5 weeks and same issue. She can feed every hour sometimes which is like cluster feeding. Have you looked that up? It might make you feel better if you know the reason baby feeds so much.
My hubby gives a bottle at night which really helps me get 2 hours sleep at least!
Does baby sleep in the day ok? If been making myself sleep when baby does that helps too
And chocolate!!

Good luck.message me if you want x

Have you tried feeding lying down so you can doze?

Also I introduced a dummy at 4 weeks for those times he wasn't feeding, just wanting comfort. It hasn't had any negative effects.

Things should start to settle in the next couple of weeks.
I have a friend who watched lots of tv while feeding in the early days. But I would also try a dummy just in case he just wants comfort.
I would also try to get to your local BF group. It's really helpful to know your not alone.
Congratulations on your baby.

It will get easier I promise. I got through the early days by watching a lot of House and going out. I started baby groups at this age as then if she was constantly feeding at least it was in a different environment.

How do you get any to take a dummy though as mine won't?

Have you tried some different brands/shapes/sizes Mumagain?

Though I was lucky and my LO has taken to any dummy we offer him.

Try the tommee tippee essentials range of dummies. They have a old fashioned cherry shape, latex and they are cheap.
BF babies tend not to be too keen on orthodontic flat dummies as they are use to a full nipple.
However I moved my youngest onto the flater dummies as he got use to the idea.

My very pro breast feeding mum gave me 'permission' "to stop breast feeding when DS was 12 weeks old and my mental health was plummeting. DS was given formula from then, and continued to thrive.

I still had raging PND but after going on sertraline I got much better.

Breastfeeding is a nice thing to do, but how we have ended up with mothers sacrificing their own mental health at its altar I just don't know. I'm middle class, middle aged, educated etc. It wouldn't cross the mind of anyone I know to do anything other than breastfeed.

They don't tell you that for some women, it's hell. I was that woman, and I paid a price for the expectations put on me by society and by myself.

I suppose the ideal compromise is mixed feeding although your baby has to cooperate with that one and mine wouldn't!

Good luck, try a bottle.

My first fed continuously for the first 8 weeks or so. In his case, there was nothing wrong it just a lot of effort on his part to build my supply.

It drove me nuts at the time. I watched box sets, tried to go out at least once a day - you can cluster feed at baby groups and classes. I also started tracking his feeds using an app. It helped me feel more in control somehow being able to measure how long he was actually attached for (10 hours a day at his worst) and it meant I knew it was getting shorter because total feed time a day was dropping before I'd have otherwise noticed it. It also helped me work out I was feeding him when actually he was tired and wanted a nap - so I started doing sling walks instead of feeding at those times. The fresh air massively helped me feel better. Once I'd got him used to napping properly in the sling rather than cat napping on me I moved on to cot naps quite quickly.

From memory about 8 weeks was the worst, after that the feeds got shorter and spaced out. The effort I put into building my supply did pay off with DC2 where I had more milk than she knew what to do with.

@mrspandabear whats the app called please?
I've notices my baby can feed quicker now thank God it's not an hour to drain a breast anymore!

@Ninamariep no just the mam one as she takes a mam bottle teat ok
Hubby managed to calm her with it earlier when I was going out of my mind after a bf for about 15 mins.