Hi ladies and gents,
I'm sorry btw if this is in the wrong section!
Basically cutting a long story short.. trying for a baby for 4 years, had ivf treatment - miscarried, other cycles failed and then finally went to the Czech Republic for treatment and got pregnant, had our boy two weeks ago 😊 when he was 2 days old though we had to take him to a&e as he had a funny breathing spell. Got there and he did it again, doctors told us he needs antibiotics/lumber puncture etc and we agreed obviously. When we've come home though we have tried to get into a routine with him - impossible in a hospital and obviously visitors have been etc and all that malarkey...
Anyway so the first day we got him home I nipped to the loo, came back into the bedroom and found him holding him, crying. I was like what's happened?? What's the matter? And he just said he loves him and doesn't want to be a rubbish dad and I said don't be silly etc he loves you, he's a happy baby and would cry if he didn't want you to hold him etc and it calmed him down. Then in hospital neither of us had slept in 36 hours straight, we were snapping at each other, not eating and my mum came to see us sent hubby home to go to bed and I slept in hospital whilst she watched ds and spoke to the doctors etc. I slept for about 14 hours, hubby had come back and mum filled us in on what the doctors had said etc.. anyway the next day I nipped to get some breakfast came back and found him crying with ds's comforter, I again asked him what was wrong and he said he was worried that he was going to have meningitis and he's struggling. I said we have to be strong for him etc and again he calmed down. THEN last night he sat up and started sobbing - which woke me up, I said what's the matter?? And he said he couldn't sleep and has been crying alone. I asked when and he said in the shower, at work etc as he misses him so much and is worried about SIDs and his breathing (eventually down to mucus) and I everyone worries about their children but you can't let the worrying take over or it will ruin everything. He said he feels over protective. He thinks he's not good enough for ds or me. Which I said is silly, I'm happy apart from not having sex - still healing and ds is happy and content - everyone says that. Ds hates the bath so we thought going to a sensory pool today to see if he will get used to the water with is as we've signed him up to water babies 😬 I said last night maybe I should go in the bath with him and see if he cries - funnily enough he loved kicking about 🙄 he just has us playing to his tune!! He said he felt jealous that ds finds comfort in my boobs - I don't BF for medication I take but he still likes the snuggle factor I think!!! I have showed him how to hold him on his chest etc but ds tries to find boobs but can't obviously so cries!!! I woke up this morning and asked him how he was feeling now etc and he just snapped at me, he was on his phone and watching ds sleep. I was going to suggest putting the Moses basket his side of the bed etc but didn't get chance!!! So I just turned over and fell back asleep for a bit.
Has anyone got any advice? I'm wondering if it's a bit of PND?? I don't know how to support him or anything though as I've listened to him and tried to reassure him etc really don't know what to do at the moment?? I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I also don't want this to bring me down and start suffering PND.
Thankyou if you've got this far, I know it's an essay!!!!
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx