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As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Postnatal health

Feeling lonely

7 replies

NewMum17 · 01/06/2017 23:20

FTM on mat leave, so alone with baby all day. DH is tired after work so we hardly communicate. He leaves early while I'm still sleeping. Almost all of my friends have no kids so I feel like they can't relate to me. Everyone is at work so you can't call them during working hours.

I've tried joining weekly mum meets but they aren't always regular and I haven't seemed to get an extra connection with anyone that I meet personally.

How can I prevent feeling so lonely at times? Is this just a FTM phase?

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Newbietwo · 02/06/2017 16:38

It will get better! Mum and baby groups can be cliquey and I have to admit that we go to ones where I know other mums heading there too. But actually, once we've been a few times, I've ended up talking to different mums and that's been really nice.

We made some good friends by signing up to courses, like baby massage and sing and sign. If it's possible, that might be something to try if you haven't already. I haven't used the hoop or mush apps, or mummy social, but lots of friends do and say they've had good days out with those. Depending on how old your lo is, some boroughs in London (and I assume therefore other councils?) run early days courses too so perhaps another possibility.


I really hope you are feeling less lonely soon and you meet some nice mum friends. It took a while for me to get used to the days at home and into a rhythm that suited us. I know we need to do at least one thing a day with other people, now my lo is older sometimes we do two things both morning and afternoon. But that can be just a walk to the shops or trip to the swings. It's such a big change and all takes some getting used to.

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NewMum17 · 03/06/2017 22:31

Thanks a lot newbietwo! I really appreciate your advice. I'm going to look into those.

I seem to be getting into more of a routine but sometimes I feel like I should do more activities with my 4 month LO. But when my mood is low, it's tough to have the motivation.

I must say walking is great. I just need to make the effort to get out and then I feel better. Should hopefully help with losing weight too which will boost my low confidence.

Thanks again Smile

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APMama · 04/06/2017 15:40

Hey @NewMum17. Sorry you're feeling like this - I'm in a similar situation so know you're not alone! MY DD is coming up to 8 months. In the beginning I did all the baby classes etc, but now can't face them as have started to find them so mind numbingly boring and I have zero things in common with the other mums - I crave some adult conversation rather than just talking about how old our babies are! So for that reason I've just stopped going... None of my friends have babies and are at work all day as you say. Also my nearest family member is 2 hours away so feel completely alone. Don't have any advice as that's what I've come searching for too, but just wanted to say you're not alone! Xx

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NewMum17 · 06/06/2017 04:01

Hey APMama. I appreciate you letting me know I'm not alone Smile It's tough at times. Hopefully we will find a way to fix this feeling. It's a shame the classes didn't work out for you. I thought perhaps the consistency in seeing the same people would help. I'm trying to go on a weekly walk with mums which is nice to get out and chat. Perhaps you could try that if there is a local one near you.

Have you tried any of the sites/apps suggested above? I think I'll try that next.

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NewMum17 · 06/06/2017 04:02

Hey APMama. I appreciate you letting me know I'm not alone Smile It's tough at times. Hopefully we will find a way to fix this feeling. It's a shame the classes didn't work out for you. I thought perhaps the consistency in seeing the same people would help. I'm trying to go on a weekly walk with mums which is nice to get out and chat. Perhaps you could try that if there is a local one near you.

Have you tried any of the sites/apps suggested above? I think I'll try that next.

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NewMum17 · 06/06/2017 04:05

Ahhh sorry! It kept saying loading and could not upload and now there's 2 here. Don't know how to delete, if hats even possible. Confused

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Newbietwo · 06/06/2017 09:27

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