I fucking hate my body and feel no one will ever 'want' ' me again.

[Mumtoahostofdingbats]

My youngest is 3. I have three beautiful children. And yet I sometimes wish I was dead . I look in the mirror and feel sick at what I see. I'm trapped in a marriage I'm not happy in but feel no one will ever want me again physically after three kids. Saggy boobs, doughy stomach, stretch marks. I feel revolted by my reflection. I just feel I'm trapped by my body. It leaves me with no choices . Who would want me now. I feel so fucking sad. I see other women with great figures after kids and women who get remarried or have new partners after kids but I just don't think anyone would want me. My own husband won't even sleep with me.

This is an awful way to feel! Pregnancy takes its toll. I'm not going to patronise with cheery chat about exercise or "the cuteness of babies makes it all worthwhile". It really, really sucks. You're not alone.

Ps. Loads of reasons for no sex post babies. I'm positive you're not the reason! Hoping your other half gives you reassurance and tlc.

First thing to do is get rid of the extra weight. Once he is gone, you can start to think about moving forward and focusing on your well-being.

The only excess weight you need to loose is your husband.

Agree with Crushsick I have all of the things wrong with my body that you do and felt the same when I got divorced. However, much to my initial surprise, it really hasn't put men off and I've had a few relationships since...not one of them has ever made a negative comment about my body and now, in my 50s, I honestly don't give it a second thought.

Don't stay with your husband just because you feel like nobody else will want you, this isn't true. Most women have different bodies after pregnancy and go on to have new relationships and embrace these changes.

Have you tried speaking to a councillor if these is really affecting you?

Go to the doctors. This sounds like depression and a possible body dysmorphia issue . I've had those moments where you just sob and get so angry at your reflection and they're horrific times .
All my best wishes that you get through this x

I feel the same. I'm so embarrassed. My STBEx hasn't touched my stomach since my first was born 5.5 years ago. There's someone who has made his interest in me clear but I think I'm going to have to explain how shit I look naked, if anything ever looks like it'll happen.

They will. My stomach is like striped blancmange. My boobs went from a B to a FF cup, then back to a C; they are as stretch marked and deflated as you would expect from that. Stbxh made comments about my body that were not complimentary. He was a dick. New man has been nothing but appreciative, I felt a lot more attractive without Stbxh, turns out it was mainly him, not me.

Sending you lots of reassurance, I felt like that too! And I agree, the only weight you need to loose is that husband of yours! Sounds like a prick if I'm honest! You have grown and cared for his babies and he treats you like that? No way! Ditch him and I'm sure you will be feeling better about yourself in no time!

Lovely, it just doesn't work like that. I find my naked reflection pretty uninspiring but I have plenty of sexual interest I promise. I didn't at first after ending my marriage because my confidence was low but it just isn't the case that nobody will want you. Contrary to a lot of popular opinion men go for the feel of a woman's body more than the look and I bet yours feels lovely and soft and curvy. There will be plenty of men who will want you if you believe you are desirable.

Thank you so much for all your messages. I know he is a big part of my low self esteem problem. How can I feel attractive when he has physically rejected me since pregnancy with our first child. I could honestly count the number of times we have had sex since our first child was born. Clearly twice more as we have two more children. people tell me I'm atttavtive but when I see myself naked I can't see it. I think I do need to speak to someone as it's not right to hate your body so much. I was so lucky to have a great body and feel a bit cheated that it's gone and now I'm stuck in a sexless marriage. I weigh 60kg/ 9.8 stone and was 9.3 when I fell pregnant so it's not like I'm really overweight. with clothes on it's ok but naked ..... has anyone considered surgery? Not that I can afford it but I just want to change what I see.

You really, really aren't alone. I probably look like one of those women you envy, but the reason I lost all my baby weight by 11 weeks postpartum is because I had such severe PND I couldn't eat. The reason for the PND is because my daughter tried to take my pelvic floor with her on the way out, so now I have a couple of prolapsed organs. My experience so far is that everyone will have something, even if you can see it. I think it's a very, very rare (and lucky) woman who escapes pregnancy and childbirth without some sort of battle wounds.
I'm learning that it's okay to be very sad about the toll pregnancy and childbirth took on your body. It's okay to feel like sometimes it wasn't worth it. But there are also things you can do to help, like talking to your GP about some counselling and maybe some anti-depressants so you can feel more in charge of your thoughts, which may help you to take positive action to improve your physical appearance. Just remember, you because your youngest is 3 doesn't mean you aren't still post-partum, because you are.

When comparing yourself to others, also remember you're comparing your naked to their clothed. I go to the gym a fair bit so see a lot of naked people and honestly, people generally look a lot better with their clothes on , like........everyone, even the super hot Crossfit gurus.

Surgery is not the answer to low confidence.
You aren't even overweight love! I'm 13 stone and much wobblier and doughier than you! Please put the idea of surgery out of your mind.

Yes! Considered surgery. I have diastasis recti so my stomach looks weird. Have been doing physio but it might never get back to "normal". But, aside from the expense, the recovery from surgery looks horrendous. And extremely painful. I can't be arsed to be honest. Decided I don't look that bad. At least in tops that skim over the bumps.
Also in a sexless relationship. It gets me down but at least we like each other. Still breastfeeding so am hoping things might get better once I'm finished. I live in hope!

reddog how long have you been struggling with physical side of your marriage? It's been nine years for me and I guess no more babies and the realization that this is all I'm going to get physically is depressing me. I know I probably don't help as hating your body doesn't make you offer yourself up sexually but it's a vicious cycle of his rejection, me feeling worse about myself, lack of confidence then if he does make the odd suggestion of sex me saying no.