Feel so sad

[sumthingbetter]

My baby is 6 months old. He hardly sleeps. He hardly naps, he wakes up every 2 hours in the night (though I find this manageable),

I've tried everything, I've tried being more relaxed but nothing is working. Have tried: putting down drowsy, shush pat, PU/PD, rocking him, feeding him to sleep, sling, pushchair, chair, bouncer, lying with him on the sofa, music, dummy, husband doing it, white noise, family helping out... I don't want to do CC.
I'm aware that it may seem that I've tried too much but I've just been desperate for things to improve.

Family used to say I was trying too hard/he wasn't really tired but are now all agreeing that he is v difficult to get to sleep.

I now find that I'm crying every day & feeling like I'm letting him down. We spend so much time trying to sleep that there is less time for play. I feel like I'm doing a shit job. I feel like he's not happy. His weight etc is fine. He is so gorgeous & I love him to bits but I'm going insane. I don't know what to do. I tried to talk to the health visitor but she was really dismissive & not caring at all. My husband is lovely but he doesn't know what to do/say, other than be there and help.

I've posted here rather than in 'sleep' because I have done that before & the responses weren't helpful. I'm so sad that I'm wasting my maternity leave by being so upset & stressed about the sleeping. I just want to stop feeling like this.

I'm afraid I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say you're not letting your son down as you are doing all that you can to help him sleep I hope someone else will be along shortly with some useful input 😀

I agree you're not letting him down. It sounds really tough and I can see why you feel upset. It seems like you have tried a lot and I'm sorry your HV wasn't more helpful.
Have you thought about trying a sleep consultant? I used one when mine was around 10 months and it has been amazing. Wish I had used her with my first. We did a kind of gradual retreat as I was worried about CC too. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. In my case I think it really helped to have someone tell me what to do and hold my hand through it...

Agree with mountain, I could have written your post when DS was that age. I paid for a sleep consultant as knew I was in a bad place and just needed someone to give me a clear direction. You're not a shit Mum, it's just incredibly hard when you're exhausted - PND can also creep up on you around the 6 month mark so please do try to talk to someone about how you're feeling. Good luck it will get better.

Thanks for the replies. I posted when I was at the very edge after another tough day!

I have considered a sleep consultant, agree the hand holding & being told what to do could definitely help. I feel like I've lost my way.

May I ask who you both used? Especially as you seem to recommend them? Thank you x

Hope you're feeling a bit better. This is the lady I used following a recommendation on MN. Quite possibly the best money I've ever spent...
http://www.childsleepsolutions.co.uk

From someone a very very long way out of the other side to this, I just wanted to say that it sounds like you are trying everything. You are doing all you can.

You are a wonderful mum. Because you care and you keep trying.

Without wanting to cause you any more anxiety or stress, there is possibly a reason that you may not find out about for a while. Health or (as happened to us) special needs. For us, not major. But enough to make our baby a "high-needs" one who slept terribly. And didn't follow the rules or books. You may one day look back and have a lightbulb moment when you realise what all of this was about.

Please do seek help from a sleep consultant. At least then you really will know you have done ALL you can and hopefully you can get some respite.

[hugs]

All amazing advice.
My second dd did not sleep for more than 3 hours until she was 19 months. And I was back to shift work having retuned to work when she was 12 months.
God damn nearly killed me
She's amazing now (8 yo), proper chilled lass.
You are a great mum OP.

Oh how I feel for you!! I was just like you 4 months ago. I bit the bullet and contacted Andrea grace sleep consultant. £295 via Skype and she was brill. I just needed to be told exactly what to do by someone who knew what they were talking about. Started when baby was 6.5 months and he was on the boob every 2 hours during the night. Honestly, after 3 nights he slept through. My advice is not to wait....the older they get the more mobile they are and it's more difficult. Good luck!!!