Post natal depression help needed

[Mammatojack17]

Heya all

I am a mummy to a beautiful son born 11 weeks ago and i suffer from post natal depression. I am on medication that seems to be working but in the first few weeks of my sons life i didnt bond with him, felt like i didnt want him and rejected him etc. I cared for him regardless and my husband supported me through and now those feelings have gone. I now love my son more than life.

However what hasnt gone is the feelings of guilt because of how i felt in those first few weeks. I feel terrible for thinking thosr things and like a bad mother. So much so i can barely look at photos of my son back then without feeling upset about it all.

Has anyone else with postnatal depression had this? If so does it ever go away? It might seem daft because i know im a good mum and my husband tells me but the way i felt and the guilt as a result is really messing with my emotions :(

Many thanks

C xxx

Hey,
Just thought I'd see how you were doing?
I suffered with pnd a little, but didn't really realise it until about 6 months. Then I looked back and felt terribly guilty that i hadn't enjoyed my son enough in they early days. And yes, I did/do feel like that about looking back on photos etc. I know what you mean. I still feel guilty about that but realistically (and having spoken to friends about this) sleepless nights and all the stresses that come with a newborn isn't really enjoyable is it?! So I try not to beat myself up about it, and 2 years on, I have a happy, bright toddler who i enjoy more than anything. I guess those first few weeks are such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things.
Don't beat yourself up. Xx

Hi, I suffered with PND when my daughter was born 11 years ago. I struggled to bond with her for several months and often felt as though I was just 'going through the motions' looking after her. At the time I hid the PND from my friends and family and suffered in silence.

My daughter is now 11 and is truly the light of my life. When I think back to the early months of her life I still feel guilty about the struggles I had to bond. But I'm able to understand that I wasn't well. I guess what I'm trying to say is that things do get better and that in years to come it won't matter that you went through a tough time in the early days as you'll have years and years of happy times that far outweigh this.

I suffered terribly with postnatal anxiety and ocd and those first few weeks I felt so poorly I couldn't enjoy my son as I was just too scared. Breastfeeding was agony and I was exhausted but I got through it and now I feel much better. Now, just like you, I look at those early pictures and feel guilty! But really, I was well at all and recovering from the birth etc etc. You've done so amazingly to get better, enjoy your baby now don't let the pnd spoil one more minute for you, you've earned it! Onwards and upwards xxx