Hey, I have a daughter who's 10months she is my first and she's a wonderful child (has her moments of course) so my mother in law we have known each other for 10years and have never really had an issue, she can be quite controlling, doesn't like anyone making decisions without her or against her. It never bothered me too much tbh until we got married she then through a massive strop about us moving out a bit (which we then decided against because of this for now) I fell pregnant and once I had the baby the dynamic totally changed. Or I felt it did. She undermined me in so many ways. I really do still make the effort with her despite, I bring my child round every week to see her etc. Lately though her attitude had gotten worse towards me. She makes comments like " I wasn't going to stand for that...." when it comes to making decisions about my daughters childcare, she was looking after her for a day and night as we were at a wedding and the next morning I phoned to check in and she answered the phone to me with "what is it". It really took me back. Anyway lots of things like this, she never does it around my husband either she only does it to me.
She sent me a message one night saying she has decided she wanted to take my daughter for 1 day a week so I would have to pull her out of daycare that day which is fine but I would have preferred her to have brought this up that morning to me and my husband. She didn't want a discussion about it. I phoned her and explained that I have to give written notice etc and I can't just pull her out but then she started to challenge me about a few things such as why haven't I given my daughter a cough medicine for her cough and I was explaining that the doctor told me not to ( she's very old school).
Long story short I got off the phone a bit stressed and thought ok if she's going to look after my child one day a week we need to agree that we can have a mutual respect to work together. So I sent her a message (again bad idea through a message but she doesn't like to talk) I just said I was happy for her to take her one day a week but can we pleasure ensure we maintain a mutual respect and that I need her to respect me as my daughters mum. She then messaged back saying she didn't want her anymore and to just keep her in daycare. I tried to phone her and she turned off the landline and wouldn't answer the phone to me.
Does anyone think I am being really petit or do you think I had every right to ask for a little bit of respect. I did tell her I know she would look after my daughter really well that I have no worries i just don't want to bang heads.
I'm sort of made to feel like the big bad mum here. I'm still a new mum I'm anxious and tired I was hoping for more support. Especially from another mother.