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Postnatal health

PND?? Verge of breaking down

8 replies

duskmum · 03/10/2016 04:40

I've been feeling low, emotional, helpless for quite some time now. I guess it started a month before I gave birth as I hated being on maternity leave and had really bad sinus problems. I think had a bit of a bad birth and I had to stay in as I weren't well.

My LB is now 15 weeks and has a milk allergy and reflux. He is now teething badly and I think he is going through a sleep regression.

I have had a feeling a might have had a bit of PND but never seen anyone about it. I thought the blues might pass but they haven't. Ever since I've given birth I've had ups and downs and lots of crying. But then I have really good days and think I've got a handle on things.

Recently it's been bad as my LB cries a lot due to the teething. We have changed his milk loads of times and things still aren't working. My OH isn't the best about talking about feelings and when I cry he doesn't know what to do. My mum is helpful but she just says I should get on with things and I should do this and that without realising how hard I'm finding things. She has commented on my low mood.

I really do feel like I'm close to having a break down. I try to put on a face to everyone but inside I'm really not coping. Anyone been in a similar place? How did you cope? Do you think this sounds like PND I'm not sure.

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 03/10/2016 04:50

Flowers dusk

It sounds as though you have been coping with quite a bit. Having a reflux baby is tough.

You could well have PND. So many women do suffer with it. The best plan is for you to go and have a chat with your GP who will have dealt with PND thousands of times.

Keep your chin up. It sounds to me as though you're generally doing well Smile

annandale · 03/10/2016 04:55

Flowers You've come such a long way already.

It sounds like PND. Whatever it is, you are having a very tough time. Please see your GP, let them know what's going on, and let them worry about exactly what it is.

I wonder how your mum is helpful - maybe you could ask her to do more of the helpful stuff and less of the unhelpful talk?

Tootsiepops · 03/10/2016 04:56

What support do you have medically for the milk allergy and reflux? Is your baby under the care of a paediatrician? Is the reflux being controlled with meds? Which ones? My daughter had reflux and colic. It was the absolute pits. She's 10 months now and has finally grown out of it, but our lives were not good for quite a while. When we finally cracked the right combination of meds and milk, things improved dramatically and I felt more able to cope.

Superstar90 · 03/10/2016 04:59

Been in a really similar place. It'll get better as your baby gets older - the reflux will go, he'll sleep more, he'll become more interactive etc etc

In the meantime you should get some additional support- speak to the hv's, gp etc about how you are feeling - that's what they are there for


duskmum · 03/10/2016 05:14

Thank you for your replies. I guess I've put off going to GP/HV as I don't want them thinking I'm a bad mum and then interfering. I love my son dearly just really struggling.

I have got a bit annoyed at my mum as I said it's all well and good you saying this but your not in my position. She's being quite tough on me about losing my weight too. She does look after DS from time to time which is helpful.

We are under a Dietcian who in my opinion isn't that helpful. The GP did mention a pead if things didn't improve. He is on ranitidine for reflux and alfamino for allergy. He is rejecting the alfamino though because of taste I think. Just when I think we have cracked it, it all goes wrong again.

I guess I never imagined parenting to be so tough. Was very naive to everything.

OP posts:
Superstar90 · 03/10/2016 05:20

Op you've just been unlucky - you are not a bad mum and no one will think that - you've just drawn the short straw of a refluxy baby.

I've just had my second and omg life is so different when they don't have reflux - in doing exactly all the same things so it wasn't that I was a bad mum the first time round - my first DC was just refluxy and difficult! If it's any consolation she was then a lovely toddler!!

annandale · 03/10/2016 05:21

I'm sure your mum is worried about you. I doubt that losing weight is the first thing on your mind right now Confused I think the most helpful thing she could do there is shut up about it cook you some tasty meals.

Really good that she does take your ds at times. What do you do when she does that? Do you go to bed? Can you go to bed? I used to find it difficult when dh took ds as he would just stay home with him and I would hear ds crying and wouldn't be able to sleep but would be lying there gritting my teeth.

You do know that it's OK to say to her 'I am really struggling with my entire life right now, and I need you to stop going on about my weight - I'm not a fool and will get to it when I'm ready'.

duskmum · 03/10/2016 12:49

Thanks superstar that's reassuring!

Annandale that did make me smile. It is the last thing on my mind when I'm drained. If she mentions it again I will be saying that.

She normally has him one evening so me and my partner have date night. However my MIL has now started having him for a afternoon or morning. So I will try and nap.

Just went to get LB weighed couldn't face telling the HV I'm not coping in front of all the other people there. I'll have to call them instead

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