Hi, this is my first post. Sorry I don't know all the forum lingo so bear with me. I have. 2 and a half year old son who I love more than anything. I don't know how long I've been having these thoughts but it's getting worse and it's starting to make me thing I'm going crazy.
I keep imagining horrific things happening to him. I don't want to harm him and never imagine myself doing anything to him but j get these thoughts in my head that I have no control over. I see horrible things and I just want it to stop.
For example the other day I had to sit next to this weird man on the bus and my son was in his buggy in front of us. The man kept trying tickle his feet and saying let's leave mummy and you and me can go and have a fun day. He was just a weirdo but since then I keep thinking of that man and imagine him taking my son and harming him or killing him. I imagine someone breaking into our house, i get to my son and he's in his stabbed to death. If we're out walking and we come to a crossing I imagine the buggy rolling out into the road and being hit by a car. I don't want anyone else to look after him incase he gets sexually abused. It's not all the time and I can go for days/ weeks with no bad thoughts and then it just pops into my head.
I feel like a complete psychopath for saying all of this but I don't know what to do. I mentioned it to my doctor probably about a year ago maybe longer and she just said she has the same with her children and it's normal. I didn't go into much detail and the thoughts weren't as bad then but this can't be normal. I feel physically sick because of it sometimes.
Has anyone else had this? Am I crazy?