Distant partner, getting me down.

[Gingerbiscuit22]

Hi all,

I had my baby 3weeks ago, and things have been going fairly okay, was stressful in the first week or so due to failure to breastfeed, partner was a great support. In the past couple of days my partner has become very distant and says he feels he's not coping or supporting me and our daughter, it doesn't help she's being very fussy and will only settle for me! Was just wondering if anyone's partners have been like this and how they dealt with it?
Thanks

Sometimes the partner feels pushed out as the mother is so focused on her baby. The fact that she will only settle for you, makes him feel useless.

Try letting him give her the baths (with your supervision of course), praise him when he does things right, and gently show him the correct way when he doesn't. No, "that's not how you do it" . If you are FF then let him also have a turn at feeding.

You need to let him be hands on as well.. Yes, your baby will fret as she is used to your smell since birth (bonding). Remind your husband that you love him every day. Just as you have to learn to be a parent, so does he.

I've tried getting him to be as involved as possible, but he won't bath her or give bottles, and when I does give her her bottles he just gets frustrated and shouts at her when she doesn't give up her wind or gets upset as she's uncomfortable (she has colic). I try to give her to him to settle but because she doesn't settle straight away he gets very frustrated with her.
It's now getting to the point where he's not really speaking to me, and hides upstairs, especially when the baby is unsettled. I just feel like a single parent at the moment. I've tried talking to him but he just won't listen.

He doesn't sound very nice tbh.

While it's tempting to say he should man the f*ck up, men can get post-natal depression. Do you think you could mention that to him?

Is his mum around? Could you maybe talk to her? Or even one of his friends? Have you actually asked him what the matter is?