Bit of back story...I had a pretty traumatic birth with my DD who is now three and a half, morning sickness throughout my entire pregnancy, and a lot of problems breastfeeding. I had never looked after a baby before so found the whole experience overwhelming, and looking back I definately had PND. My partner also left me and got with his ex.
I'm now back with DDs dad and our relationship is great, we sorted out all the problems we had and are fine. DS is six months old, I had no morning sickness with him, no emotional mood swings, somehow only put seven pounds on with him (compared to three and half with my DD) and other than SPD had a pretty good pregnancy. Labour was very quick and I was able to walk about straight away. Due to my problems breastfeeding my DD I decided to bottle feed. He sleeps like a dream and I'm absolutely smitten with him, his smile makes my day. I also went back to work part time when DS was three months old in a new job as I found coming back to work helped with my PND before
So I don't know why I feel depressed and anxious all the time, I wake up having panic attacks over nothing. I have a lot of stomach issues and they can't find the cause, also had anaemia which is improving. Am currently on fluoxetine but it doesn't really seem to be helping. My partner works away so it's just me looking after the kids, the house and the pets, but the house is in a constant mess even after I tidy it. My DD has also started tantruming a lot for hours on end, she's an absolute sweetheart and I love her very much, she's very funny and caring, but I just feel so overwhelmed :-(
I feel like I'm a failure in my job and being a mother.