Hi
Im a stay at home mum and I really need sone advice. I've got a 4 year old and 2 year old and about 9 months ago I started having panic attacks, feeling like I couldn't cope. My anxiety got really bad, health anxiety and then I started to feel disconnected from the world and lost a lot of weight. I started panicking in shops, at play groups etc. I went to the drs numerous times and have been on mirtazapine for a few months. They've helped with some things but make anxiety worse. I tried putting the dose up but ended up feeling even worse. So I went back down to 15mg. I've been carrying on, but I'm really struggling. I feel like crying constantly, I'm on edge all the time, snappy and angry. I don't enjoy being a stay at home mum, I am utterly sick of the same routine and all the anxiety. I want to feel normal like I used to and enjoy my children. My husband isn't supportive and says it's all made up and rubbish. He doesn't agree with medication, says I don't need counselling,etc etc. I want to get a part time job but husband says I should be tag phone looking after the children and he doesn't want anyone else looking after them. I'm scared to change pills as I had bad reaction to citalopram. I've had some counselling but didn't help much. I have some friends but it's not enough as I spend most of my time alone with my children. Is motherhood just supposed to be this hard? I love my children to bits but I'm going insane with boredom/anxiety/identity issues. I get no time to myself and I'm really not sure how to cope with all this! Sorry this was a pretty disorganised rant!