Postnatal anxiety/depression. Can anyone relate?

[Countryside14]

Hi,

I'm looking for some support really.

My DD is now 10.5 months old and I really couldn't love her more. I love with my partner of 7 years, we've just sold out home and are looking for a bigger family home. I'm not yet back at work and don't think I'll be returning.

Up until about 2/3 apart from lack or sleep and a very demanding baby I was feeling fine.

6 years ago something happened in my family that left me feeling very sad and very anxious for a long time after. Since then I've always struggles with it but sees to pull through and ignore it.

Now it's back and I can't shift it. My problem I'm constantly worrying about my DDs development. Now I no most mums question it time to time but I mean I'm constantly worrying. I'm a terrible reader so I google everything then worry even more. My own worst enemy! Everything I read seems to point to austisum which has now left me feeling awful. I finally admitted to the health visitor how I feel so she's coming round to chat further.

Whilst I know the way I'm thinking isn't right by worries about my baby are very real.

Can anyone relate to this?

from what I've read about PND, this could be a symptom-the excessive checking and worrying. I'm very pleased you've got the health visitor coming soon and you need to be honest with her about your feelings.
Please keep your thread updated as to how you get on, I have HV coming next week for my DS 6-8 week check up and I will be speaking to her about my own worries.
At least you recognise you need to speak to someone.
Keep going

Thank you for replying. I do check everything. Her physical development am totally at ease with I think because I can actually see what and she's in target. But mentally I can't quite tell. Whenever I google I see something bad and then that's it she's got it.

I do need to get it under control. I need constant reassurance.

I've always been so outgoing and confident but now I can hardly remember myself as that person.

I understand. I recognised myself in your post so wanted to say you're not on your own x

Thank you. It's a comfort x

Did the HV come today or is it another time?

It's tues she's coming. I've been to see the dr earlier. He said he thinks I do have pnd. I explained that even if I didn't my worried about my baby are still real to. I still feel genuinely concerned. He said that at this age it's too up if to tell anything.

Of course your worries are still real but I do think it's the potential pnd talking and taking it to the extreme.
Have you confided in your DP or anyone other than your doctor as to how you are feeling?
Tuesday will be here before you know it, just get the weekend done and you'll soon be talking it over with someone who can help/advise you how to deal with the anxiety.

Yes he knows. He's gets annoyed because he can't relate to my worries. My mum and best friend get the same too. But at the same time are supportive as well.

Thank you for replying to me. It helps so much to talk to someone x

You're welcome
As I said above, I could have written your post and need to have a serous chat with my HV myself next week as I know I'm not in a great place either.
I'm worrying unduly about my DS and can't bear to put him down as I'm scared something will happen to him (I know it's irrational but I can't help it - guess is good I can recognise the fact!).
I'm massively sleep deprived, which I know isn't helping things.
DH has DS and I'm going to try and get some sleep to sort my head out.
I will be back, take care lovely X

Have a nice snooze. A good sleep makes such a difference x

Would you believe I struggled to get to sleep last night? Despite being so tired that I was slightly hallucinating in the day!
Bloody bodies!!
How are you today?

Airway the way. That's annoying for you.

I wasn't good first thing. My dp was working and u felt alone. I was supposed to go out with friends but changed my mind as I didn't feel I could go but ended up going and I feel better for it. How are you?

I'm glad you went out, I find I am wanting to turn down invitations as can't face it but ultimately I do feel better for going.
I'm a lot better today thank you. Amazing what sleep does!
Had lots of 6 week old smiles today which has helped , as well as DH being home. i think being on my own too much brings me down.
Are you doing anything nice for tomorrow?

Awwww those early smiles are so lovely. I can't believe my girl will soon be one. I'm glad you're feeling better.

I've always been he for getting out and keeping busy and lately I've not wanted to go out. I knew then that I shouldn't feel like that and that staying home alone just makes me feel worse.

I'm going to my mums tomorrow which will be nice. Are you?

Have been out at a friends wedding reception this evening, wasn't keen on going but was persuaded by my hubby and I'm glad I went now.
DS was fast sleep on our return and is still asleep now-am breast feeding and they feel like they're going to explode lol!
Will be having a nice meal cooked at In laws house tomorrow, which should be nice.
Here's to a good day :-) x

How did you get on with the HV? X

Really well thanks. She was here a while and said she thinks dd is absolutely fine :) we did lots of chatting and I felt like my worries left when she did.

How are you?