baby blues

[rosebud2014]

Hi everyone,

I joined mumsnet today because i find myself in constant worry/panic/anxiety.
Last monday i got induced and had a horrendous time which ended in a emergency c,section :( after planning a calm birth in a unit not a hospital it wasnt what i wanted at all.
anyway i came home tuesday and have cryed since :( i hate putting my baby down, i get so upset when she does, i cant leave the house :( yesterday i put her in her pram and walked to the shop near my house and walked in and straight back out again in tears :( i just fear about her all the time that i wont be able to get to her quick enough etc. iv put off friends and family meeting her because i cant stand the thought of them holding her, when people do come round i cant wait for them to leave.
Just when am i going to able to go out with her and feel better :(

I look forward to hearing from mums who went through similar as i dont know what else to do :(

i spoke to m/wyesterday she just said stop putting pressure on yourself xx

Enjoy this time with your baby and get to know each other. Fear and anxiety are all normal feelings but over the next few days as your hormones settle and both you and your baby learns to relax and get used to this new journey. My
Little one is 8 weeks and for the first 2 weeks I cried at everything and was worried about a lot of things. Putting visitors off for a few days is good so you can get I your feet but eventually start having people around slowly and put them to use like nursing
The baby while you shower or having them make your cup of tea or giving a helping
Hand with housework etc. small walks and not going to far from home to start with is a good idea and bring someone with you like a family
Member or friend so you have support of you feel anxious. And remember to your midwife and health visitor for advise as much as you can. If these feelings don't clear up after a few days or a week or two then go have a chat with someone. I had to go speak to my gp as I could not sleep due to being so am I and it done me the world of good. Becoming a mum is hard work and a big change so give yourself time, I still have some off days only yesterday I cried at dinner
When my other half Asked if iwas okay due to being extremely tired but you will soon be doing great and wonder what all the worry was ever about

So many spelling mistakes :0 tired eyes lol but am guessing you will figure out what I meant x

It's not surprising you're a bit all over the place. You've just been through a very stressful process, that didn't turn out how you wanted. No wonder you are taking some time to adjust to that. Then add in major surgery recovery, post partum hormones, sleep deprivation and near constant feeding - I think you're doing really well to have got out of the house at all!

Not wanting to put your baby down is also completely normal and not something to worry about. Can you let your partner have her for a short time every day to get you used to it? If you invite other people round it's ok to ask them not to hold her, and get your DP/DH/other relative to help you explain to them that it's because you're still feeling wobbly from the birth?

I had a similar experience in that i was chemically induced and had (what i feel was) a very intense labor, nothing like id planned for.

Now i get flash backs almost, and cry everytime i think of it, i just want to be held (like a baby!).

my family aren't close by and we've no 'baby friends' I'm the opposite to you though, i just want to hand her over to someone, i feel almost resentful (horrendous mother alert) but then i do get 5 mins alone and cant wait to hold her again.

These feelings are all perfectly natural, my anxiety levels have shot up since giving birth and when people talk about getting out and about I dread it! But I'm trying to focus on the next 24 hours and not overwhelm myself. There's a lot to get used to, what with feeding and sleep deprivation.

Maybe stay within your comfort zone (home for example) and let some visitors come by, just be honest and tell them that your really anxious about handing the little one over, i find that if you can be open about an issue it lessens its effect.

i cant wait for these blues to clear up, I've had it since the birth - on day 5 now, the end must be in sight!

All sounds very normal and familiar. I had several inductions, 39 hours of labour then an emergency c section. I didn't sleep more than a few hours in total until my son was 8 weeks old. I was determined to come accross as relaxed, taking everything in my stride and pushed myself so hard.
My advice (which I will be taking myself next time) is to do what you feel comfortabke with. If that is staying at home and enjoying your little one then do it. I spoke to my lovely HV several times and as others have said I was told not to put so much pressure on myself. I am getting better at saying no to plans and visits when I need to and enjoying mummyhood so much more for it.
Good luck Xx