It has been three weeks since my wife gave birth and she is still having difficulty feeling any attachment to our little girl. She has told me she feels very guilty about this but there is nothing she can do, she just cant force herself to feel anything. What's worse is that she is even beginning to feel resentment towards our baby for restricting her freedom, costing so much and taking up all my time (I am totally smitten). She feels terrible about it but she feels like her worst fears are coming true and she is not really cut out to be a mum as she is too selfish.
I am at a loss to understand what is going on. We are married (been together eleven years now), financially secure and we chose to have this baby. I have never had any reason to believe she might be a bad mother, in fact I thought she would be amazing. All I can tell her is that this is just a phase/possibly hormones/possibly post partum depression as I am sure with only 3 weeks since the birth her body is still adjusting. However, she tells me she can't imagine loving or wanting the baby and has begun to have very guilty fantasies about walking out and never coming back. She has made it clear she would never hurt the child but the thought of her dreaming about walking out on us both breaks my heart.
I don't know what to do. I had three weeks paternity leave but need to go back to work soon. My wife is dreading me going back as she doesn't want to look after the baby. Do any of you have similar experiences that might help me to understand what is going on.