June 08 - a Coalition for all (even those with May or July 08 babies).

[DomesticGoddessInTraining]

Abdn liked the title so I just went ahead!

I have a similar HV Spider, she is a bit weird and fairly useless, see what you mean about the waiting lists though. I think J is slowly improving so I'm not going to worry too much just yet, comforted to hear that quite a few aren't talking too much at this age, thanks Rolf, Deb and Sybil.

Oooh - I have been referred and have an appointment at The Priory no less. I will keep my eyes out for pop stars!

For the insomnia?

Morning all. After consuming far too much alcohol yesterday afernoon (yes, in the afternoon) I went to bed at 7pm and am just up. I think perhaps I need to join you at the Priory Amber but for completely different reasons It was a work thing with my team - my boss is a complete lush so we have these team afternoons every now and again where we drink wine like it's going out of fashion.

On speech, S's has really come on over the last month or so. He's started to repeat a lot of what we say to him (which means DH has to be careful when driving ). Not much in the way of sentences though. He did say 'toot toot all aboard ninky nonk' the other day when reading an awful ITNG book we bought him (he won't watch the tv show, so am trying to get him into it a bit before we go to the live show'. I don't think anyone apart from me and DH understand what he says. I think that's the same with most toddlers at this age. I don't understand what a lot of other toddlers say tbh, especially those with mums who rave about their speech!

Spider/Ktpie - do P/J ever spend much time with older children/toddlers? I also think S takes a wee leap when he does. He's also now one of the oldest in his room at nursery and I think his speech and general development is likely to take another leap when he goes up to the next room in a few weeks with the 2-3 year olds.

Rolf - GO AND GET YOUR EYES TESTED! It will transform your life! When I lived in London I was years overdue an eye test and decided that I wanted to give contact lenses ago. I'll never forget coming out of the optician's room into the shop for the first time with my new lenses - everything was defined and had sharp edges. It was amazing! I then went to the tube and realised for the first time that people could actually read the lcd displays from the other end of the platform - it was only me that had to walk right up to them to read when my train was due. It probably sounds a wee bit dramatic, but when you're used to living with dodgy sight, being able to see properly is really liberating.

Amber - hope the belt helps you out btw. SPD sounds awful.

DG that's what is worrying me. Will the world be less manageable if it loses its fuzzy edges? I had a try of contacts years ago, and didn't pursue it as whenever I tried to close my eyes that night I saw a finger with a lens looming up into my eye.

We're staying in an apartment in town and my heart sank when I realised that there was a big stag group on the same floor. But they were ok, despite getting locked out and taking a hammer to their door this morning

Rolf, stag do sounds traumatic! I second what DG says about the eye test . Mine went dodgy a few years back and I only did something about it when I couldnt tell which player was which when I went to the footie.

I have to be really careful what I say in front of the DTs. The other day I was listening to someone on the radio explain how she could never vote Labour cos she 'lives in Hampstead and is a businesswoman' so I said 'stupid bitch' at the radio and T repeated me . I just ignored it tho he hasn;t said it since .

I gave Daniel a dummy yesterday and he loved it. The DTs never took to dummies but I thought D was using me just to suck (he was snack feeding a lot) so I tried him with it and it really settled him. I felt weird tho - like I was depriving him of what he really wanted (boob)! I figure as long as he has a good feed every 2-3hrs the dummy is not going to stop him from demanding food when he is hungry, is it? I didn't use it in the night cos I am happy for him to use me as a dummy atm (we are still co-sleeping) - I am reluctant to use it in the night cos then he'll wake every time it drops out. But not sure whether I'll be able to do that if he likes it - will he just cry for it anyway? Any advice from seasoned dummy users greatly appreciated!

Ha ha neenz I called someone a fucking wanker which luke immediately repeated! Like you I ignored! No Dvice on dummies as luke was not breast fed so I think it might be different. I ound it a lifesaver though.

I have no idea how much other people understand luke as maybe they just smile and say aaah when really they are thinking eh?

Stefan was bfed until 12 months and had a dummy the 1st night home from hospital, it wasn't a problem, he had them(1 in and 1 in each hand) in bed for quite a while but gave them up readily. I would have loved Tristan to have one as he cried sooooo much as a baby but he wouldn't have one or a bottle. Ethan had one the night he was born, stuck in his mouth by the mw and it was enormous, but he would take them or leave them and by a few weeks old we gave up on them.

neenz I used a dummy for both boys for the first few months but then when they started waking and looking for it (4 months with Ds1, 3 months with DS2) I took it away. There was a few upset nights but they quickly adjusted and by then the need to suck was gone...

Speech - I was surprised how difficult my family found it to understand Fraser - he's crystal clear to me of course but everyone else struggled.

Right - I've been informally offered 12 weeks of work (up until Christmas) at 2.5 days a week and we're now frantically searching for a nanny. I guess we might need to go to an agency if the last two leads I have don't work out.

If Poppy's around maybe she can advise on this - one of them has a business teaching music to kids part time and wants to be self-employed (has a ltd company, lone trader). I think this is fine for us since it's a temporary contract to match my temp contract all the hours etc are flexible and we can create a contract that would reflect this.

So I had a quick look on MN and everyone agrees that if you have a self-employed nanny who's judged by HMRC to be employed then the parents are responsible for the extra tax and there's a fine. What? As self-employed contractors we're the ones who are responsible for anything if HMRC judged us employed. So how come parents would be responsible but large corporations can get away with using contractors with no risk? Bloody anti-family employment legislation again!!!

(Although I guess the distinction could be in that DH and I are a limited company and not self-employed as such).

Neenz - You?re really taking this newborn lark in your stride aren?t you? Can?t believe how easy you make it sound. It gives me hope, but I suppose after twins, just the one does seem a lot easier. (Sorry Amber! )

Dewin - Good luck at the interview, discrete bribery via cupcakes sounds like a great idea to me. But you won?t need bribery! They?d be lucky to have you.

KTPie - LOL at seeing the bottom of the laundry bin, I rarely glimpse ours, holidays or no holidays! The van door opening does not sound good. R also gets very annoyed if he?s not allowed to drive. It?s DH?s fault, when he wants to get stuff done in the garage he puts R in the driving seat because he will sit there happily for ages. Every so often he?ll hit the horn though which makes DH jump so much, it?s very funny to see.

Biscuits - Very jealous of your FB statuses and twittering about the festival. Good luck with the studying, what is this bit for?

Spider - You?re keeping up with an Olympic gymnast, that?s blooming amazing in my opinion.

Waves to Abdn - glad work is going well, would you like a longer contract?

Play dough - Actually quite like it. We made some which luckily isn?t too sticky, so the carpet stays in tact.

Eddie - How was Brighton? We?d just about managed to persuade the IL?s to try and have R overnight, in the hope that we can eventually go to Wellington, overnight, just DH and I. Unfortunately, since they agreed, there hasn?t been a single week someone hasn?t been in hospital. (Everyone ok-ish now BTW). I have a feeling it?s just not going to happen.

Rolf - I used to love Playmobile, might have to look out for some.

Domestic - How?s the toe? I broke mine as well jumping over a toy about a year ago. As KTPie said, there?s nothing you can really do but strap it up, but I couldn?t believe how much it hurt.

Amber - I?m a fellow bribing Mummy here, there?s nothing that can?t be fixed with a packet of raisins. I had movements two weeks ago, but they stopped for about a week. Why I didn?t freak out, I don?t know, but happy to say they?re back again. Makes it all seem real doesn?t it? Loving the West Country accent! I had SPD last time and it was awful. If it does get bad I can dig out my physic?s details, they were absolutely brilliant, based just by Bank tube station though if that?s not too inconvenient for you?

Toddler Vocab - R?s is still very limited compared to a lot of the other June 08 babies. However it is increasing, so not overly concerned. If I was in the UK I would do the same as Spider and get a referral because I read about the waiting list too. But not much point over here as they won?t see any children under the age of three and if I get my way, we?ll be back in the UK pretty soon after R is three. (NB: My way doesn?t just depend on DH, but money and the UK economy, but I?m burying my head in the sand about that ATM).

Rolf - LOL at you thinking about telling a complete stranger they had a huge arse. Pre pregnancy I worked out I needed to lose Ry?s weight at the very least. Carrying him around has made me completely determined not to put much on this time - it?s a very good incentive!

Sybil - ?Me big poo?, well at least J communicates the important things.

Amber - Which Priory? Roehampton? Don?t get too excited! I spent a very large chunk of last year there for my PND and there was hardly anyone there of note! Food not bad for a hospital though.

Goddess - I agree that spending time with older children helps with speech. I also think that DH and I are partly at fault because we understand what R is trying to communicate and don?t force him to actually say things clearly enough.

Godess/Rolf - A friend of mine had laser surgery and couldn?t believe what everyone else could see when they woke up! In one way she hated it because once she opened her eyes in the morning, the world was so clear she could never get back to sleep. Great eyesight, but no more sleep ins.

Neenz - We used a dummy, before he was 6 month, R got fed up of it and dropped it. A dummy won?t work if a baby is really hungry (much like chewing gum wouldn?t work for us), so I wouldn?t worry! I can?t really remember getting up in the night to put the dummy back in, if I did, I didn?t do it enough to remember! Think I saw that the dummy fairy had visited Valium?s house today and left lots of presents?

Oh and R speaks more at his Gps. They get lots of new words. I sometimes wonder if they make them up or hear what they want to hear. Example: ?We asked R what the baby should be called, he said Daisy?. R has never said Daisy around me before and hasn?t since - this was on Friday. Not sure if this is what R wants or what they want. [Hmm] Cynical, moi?

Good luck with finding a Nanny Abdn - what?s the job? Can?t help re: tax, sorry!

Right - I finally feel like I?ve caught up! I really hope I didn?t miss anyway.

CSI Miami has just started, so I?m off! There is so little decent telly over here I have to grab anything good I can. Think this post is long enough anyway.

We're heading off to see if our flipping house is ready to move back into. It had better be. I am going mad living like this. So this morning, DD1 wakes me up wanting breakfast (why didn't you ask Daddy? Because he's asleep ). I get all 4 of them breakfast then go out to buy lots of OJ and croissants. Then get the little ones dressed and get the big ones to straighten their room. All this time DH is in bed. Tell him that if he's not out of bed in 5 mins I'll go home on my own to check on the work and he says he needs to come as I'll just fuck it up. I've organised all the temporary accommodation, packed us up, unpacked, negotiated rent, dealt with any problems, rinsed out clothes (only brought a couple of changes of clothes each), made sure he has clean clothes and an ironed shirt for work. Our house is covered in dirt and dust and it will take forever to get it sorted out. I know I'm lucky to get all this done but I have honestly had enough and he's being such a twat about it. And now he's disappeared. No idea whether he's gone home or what.

We were all out in town yesterday and he treats me like the nanny. In a restaurant, T is precarious on her chair so he asks me if I should be putting her in a high chair. DD1 starts creating and he glares at me and asks why i can't control her. She lags behind and picks fights on the way home and DH walks ahead leaving me to deal with her, and when eventually I explode (publicly, white trashily and loudly ) he makes arsy comments about how I can't cope with her. I stomp off to the apartment on my own and a hour later get a furious phone call from him saying I've locked him out (I haven't. I texted him the entry codes so even if he's forgotten his entry card he can get to our door) but he also tells the children I've abandoned them all and they are hysterical.

Blimey, what a horrible rant. I'm very sorry. I'm not getting enough sleep, DH is pissing me off something rotten (can you tell ).

Valium the only bright spot in the weekend has been Lucy Mangan's column with the conclusion "...if you have never been bored, how will you ever fully appreciate drugs?"

Oh Rolf, sounds horrendous, I don't blame you for exploding, I think you have been so patient for so long. It's so unfair of your dh to tell the children that you're abandoning them. Sounds like you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how he makes you feel, in a calm and rational manner!Easier said than done I imagine at the moment. (((hugs)))

I think Ethan might be dropping his afternoon nap - I am devastated!!!I am in the next room and he's in his cot, has been for about 30 minutes and he's still talking to himself and teddies, laughing at something etc etc,,He did the same yesterday, stayed there for over an hour before I went to get him up, but he wasn't crying. I should be thankful that he's at least staying put and not creating (yet)

Rolf, I have to say I think you have the patience of a saint with your dh. But I also think that you have to stop taking full responsibility for your children all the time because quite frankly, they are his children too and he doesn't seem to get this.

It reminds me a bit of a trip to dh's work that we had a while back and everyone was gushing to him about how well behaved the kids were and what a fantastic job he was doing as a parent. And I stood there and gritted my teeth and didn't jump up and down about how actually he sees them for roughly an hour 3 nights a week and weekends and perhaps as a full-time mum the praise for their behaviour may be mine??????? I did fume about it afterwards though

Umm, sorry, a bit ranty. May have touched a nerve there.

Ah - am around if want to talk nannies or tax - fb prob better. Re the punishment being unduly harsh on families maybe but it's a general rule - not aimed at small employers (and big employers can and do get hammered too).

Have been lurking and thought quite hard about whether I would post again or if I joule but can I just be a bit [prissy emoticon] about jokes about the priory- my dad treated there so don't find flippant remarks particularly funny. Sorry I know I am being over sensitive but not some

Ok strop over- am feeling much better despite busy hormonal few weeks. Am
In franc and wig me luck (and pass
Me tips) as we are ff camping for three days this week. Any tips on toddler camping?

And now strop over Amber you will be in good hands and if you are going to one I think they do a mean bacon sarny in canteen. The twins will thank you for it. Also re escaping Luke- do you have a child safety lock on car that you can switch on to stop the great escape?

Sorry typing on iPhone gets no better

Blimey, I've just re-read my post and I'm very sorry .

DH isn't always as bad as this, really. The day hasn't much improved, though. He made his way to the car and sat reading whilst I loaded up the children, and then I stomped off (again ) when he wouldn't help clear my seat. I was only gone 10 minutes but he'd gone, and wouldn't return my calls all day, nor my texts asking where they were. So he'll be livid that I "abandoned" everyone for a whole day. It's been quite nice to have a day to myself but very nerve-wracking knowing that things are going to be vile when they all get back.

I'm sure I'll end up getting these posts deleted as I'm not usually so indiscrete or disloyal, nor so self-obsessed. But the friend I usually rant to is in the middle of emigrating ({grin])...

Poppy hope you're ok.

Amber hope the insomnia can be helped

Deb and Sybil thanks . Sybil I know exactly how you feel. On a good day that sort of thing makes me want to scream, on a bad day to curl up under the bed.

The thing with dh's on here (and I'm sure this is true for you too Rolf) is that you rant about the unusually bad stuff to get it off your chest but don't mention the good stuff they do day to day so it is easy to feel you are being disloyal.

You aren't though, it is therapetic to unload and healthier for you not to bottle it up. At least that is what I tell myself when I have dh/mil rants.

Hi Poppy, apologies for causing offence.

poppy thanks for the note on facebook! And I'm glad it's not just small business that gets caught this way! I hate that it's so easy to feel picked on rather than realizing everyone's stuck with the same crap...

rolf feel free to rant - I agree with sybil. We rant but I'm glad we don't gush too much - I assume he's lovely in other ways :) Plus you're under so much stress with the renovations - that'd make me miserable and DH and I don't do well with that type of upheaval. (ie not drastic enough to pull together...)

toddler camping - it's not that bad as long as you don't expect too much sleep. I love all sharing a tent together (DH does not) and how excited the boys are in the morning...

Rolf, sorry to hear about your woes with DH. They can all be arses sometimes can't they? Sorry to hear that yours is being particularly juvenile today and hope you patch things up soon. I've obviously no idea what it's like to be a SAHM, but I know that there are a few of you on here with DH's with pretty intense jobs - I would imagine crucial to the relationship would need to be a mutual respect for the contribution the other makes?

I was out festival-ing again last night - poor DH has been rather abandoned this weekend. Am very weary and looking forward to a night on the sofa in front of the tv. Of course I really should be studying instead...

AH, I was going to chip in with some stuff re: tax etc, but am sure Poppy will have it covered. Completely agree with Poppy that it's something bigger companies have to worry about too.

Thanks for all enquiries about my toe. It's no longer black, but still a wee bit bruised and sore. Am sure it's not broken though.

So what have you seen dgt? Anything really good?

Ah - dh is looking forward to that bit - me less so.

And completely agree that its easy to rant (and sometimes safer) than to say something nice (like dh today took apart old
Bed here carted it downstairs to cellar and then made up new toddler bed- that sounds as smug as it does dull hence why lovely tho it is dh may lack cyber appreciation).

I've seen Matt Green and Danny Bhoy this year - both of whom were good, but tbh they didn't really have me laughing till I cried/side splitting etc in the way that others have done in the past. In the last few years I've seen Michael McIntyre (just before he exploded), Rhod Gilbert, Jim Jeffries, Jason Byrne - all who were really, really funny. Ooh, I've seem Simon Amstell before too - he was good. I've got tickets to see Chris Addison next week and have high hopes for that. Tbh, I just love being out and about at the Festival - there are a few really good locations that turn int big outdoor beer garden type places and it's just a really good atmosphere.

I like taking S to stuff too - we went to see Hairy McLairy last week which was fab, and we're going to see Julia Donaldson next weekend. There's an adaption of Penguin on as well, which I'd really like to take S too but I don't think we're going to be able to fit it in before the Festival closes.

Hi Penguin, so you're hoping to come back to the UK? Have you absolutely decided or going to give it more time (and what does DH think?). I am finding one baby pretty easy but that is all down to sleep. We are co-sleeping so I don't really get too disturbed... he has two feeds a night but settles pretty much straight away afterwards so it's not so bad. If I get decent sleep I can cope with anything .

Thanks for all the dummy comments. He doesn't like it all the time - it seems to help him drop off to sleep. Sometimes he just spits it out which is reassuring - he won't accept it if he really wants food. I will probably take it off him at 4-6mths cos I think it's easier to lose it then than later. lol at Dewin tho - you love dummies and you don't care what anyone else thinks . I was at MIL's today and I thought I would get a few snide comments when the dummy came out but I actually didn't need to use it cos he slept pretty much the whole time . Dewin you'll have to tell me what you said to your MIL .

Rolf, feel free to vent! Sometimes they are just arseholes full stop . Hope the house gets sorted soon.