FEB 2010 No longer newborns!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Three months and counting, everyone! Our babies are gradually getting the hang of the world...and we are gradually getting the hang of them...

IC - on sleep deprivation, last night I was upset with DH about something and 30 mins later only remembered I was upset with him. He was kind enough to remind me why, he thought it was quite amusing.

Abs LOL at your niece eating only orange food (though shocked that your BIL's force feeding could have such a drastic effect). Rmeinded me of a friend who only eats vegetables if they are white as she can taste the awful chloropyll in green veg.

And on the gov advice of BF-ing for 6 months, that's just the current advice. They're still doing a study to figure out the next round of advice.... www.eatstudy.co.uk/

sunangel88 good to hear from you. We've not checked out the baby group stuff yet, waiting for things to calm down a bit and sort out getting ourselves settled. Sounds like your doing just fine and I do believe your right about employer having to accomodate BF. Sure someone else will come along with links. Yes we have lactation room as well. I really hate the word lactation though.

We're still up at least 3 times a night. At some point I might have to admit defeat and join the support thread. Last night though, she didn't feed at the 3am waking and was asleep before she had a chance to latch on, so maybe progress. She's currently having a uber nap though, don't know what to do with myself. Lets see what effect that has on tonights sleeping.

What are BF mothers doing to stop themselves being sractched to pieces during a feed. I fail at biting her nails myself (just can't seem to do it). Cutting them with baby clippers though seems to leave sharp edges.

Hi sunangel YES I'm sure your employer has to allow you to BF at work. I'm no good at insterting links (and very tired) but the DirectGov website says:

Breastfeeding
You should let your employer know in writing if you are planning to breastfeed when you return to work. Ideally you should do this before you return so that your employer has time to plan.

Your employer must carry out a risk assessment to identify risks to you as a breastfeeding mother or to your baby. If there are risks they must do all that is reasonable to remove the risks or make alternative arrangements for you. Your employer must also provide suitable rest facilities.

Although there is no legal requirement, employers are encouraged to provide a private, healthy and safe environment for nursing mothers to express and store milk.

sa don't let your boss bully you into stopping sooner than you wamnt to. They're only little for such a short time.

Right off to bed, night all

DrCC YES I am being scratched to pieces too! The nail clippers are rubbish! I seem to have to cut her nails every few days.

Not doing anything to stop it; am covered in attractive scratches.

Now am off to bed!

sunangel88 good to hear from you. We've not checked out the baby group stuff yet, waiting for things to calm down a bit and sort out getting ourselves settled. Sounds like your doing just fine and I do believe your right about employer having to accomodate BF. Sure someone else will come along with links. Yes we have lactation room as well. I really hate the word lactation though.

We're still up at least 3 times a night. At some point I might have to admit defeat and join the support thread. Last night though, she didn't feed at the 3am waking and was asleep before she had a chance to latch on, so maybe progress. She's currently having a uber nap though, don't know what to do with myself. Lets see what effect that has on tonights sleeping.

What are BF mothers doing to stop themselves being sractched to pieces during a feed. I fail at biting her nails myself (just can't seem to do it). Cutting them with baby clippers though seems to leave sharp edges.

I hate my laptop

Sorry CC I don't think there will be a fight. We all seem to agree that all babies, all mums, all way of life are different and we are willing to try what works for us . Even if it is DD2, and I have seen a LOT of babies and toddlers in the last 5 years I am still pretty clueless and wouldn't impose my views on anybody I am ready to listen though (not necessarily to follow) .

For nails In france we have baby nail scissors which do the job pretty well, I know they don't exist in the UK, I couldn't find them. They are curved not straight (you can find those straight ones in the UK but as the nail clippers they are pretty useless too). But the nails grow awfully quickly, I have to do it at least twice a week.

AbsB you don't have to reembourse statutory maternity pay. If your company doesn't have benefit you probably don't have to pay back anything, but you should checked first. Good on you to have make your choice.

sunangel good luck with your employer. I am sure your are doing as well as us by the way. There is no such thing as easy mothering. (unless you have a nanny or lots of familly help). I was crushed 1st time, as I thought all the mums at the babygroups were doing so much better than me, and seems to have a plan and "ideas". But in fact all the babies were doing the same things roughly at the same time regardless of the way we dealt with them, and all is tough till about 3.5/4 years
FC hats down to you, it must be very hard to juggle all. I am sure you are doing well, you don't have to be 100% perfect 100% of the time (valid both at work and at home)
at all those painting, writing, talented... I am pretty lame!

Lovely to hear from you sunangel - sorry to hear you're having a tough time (having said that, I think we all are to some degree - what mamaloco said!

Sunangel (and others!) - You may have seen the Slumber Party Sleep Deprivation Support Thread in the Sleep forum - I started it, feel free to join if you want to rant air your sleeplessness issues. There's also a Challenging 3 Month Olds thread which has loads of ideas in it on encouraging napping, if you haven't found it already.

A ceilidh is a Celtic dance, Abs - huge fun, if you've never been to one!! Back in the days of yore they often called them "barn dances" where you did "country dancing. I'm saying Celtic, but I suspect more Scottish than anything. No doubt mawbroon will clarify! Yes, I want to know what you play, too, mawbroon*!

Hey, BG and mamaloco - everyone's got talents of some sort, even if they're not in the arty-farty-creative realm!! I'm sure you're doing yourself down.... lame? shmame!!

As I suspected, DD has got her first cold - not bad to have avoided it until 21 weeks, I s'pose. Anyway, apart from all the sneezing, coughing and snotting, she's remaining very cheerful with it, if more restless than usual overnight. She's streaming, but it's all coming out so far so I haven't had to employ the snotsucker...YET. Tissues and my little finger nail are doing the job okay at the mo.

Last night was rubbish for sleep, though. She went down like an angel at 19.00, then woke up at 21.30, 22.30. 00.30 etc. (lost count after that), remaining awake for an hour and a half after 0200 (restless with the cold, I think) and then did a mucousy vomageddon all over me, the sheet, the swaddle, my pillow.... Delightful. Cue 03.30 bedroom overhaul and shower. Like I said, DD just grinned, didn't seem too bothered (was I imagining her laughing at us??!!)
Got her back to sleep towards 0400, then she woke again at 05.15 (fed back fast) then again at 06.00 whereupon a poosplosion meant knackered mummy had to haul her arse out of bed again to do a nappy change. Eventually got her back down to sleep, then retired to the spare room.
In between times, a very loud storm kept me awake (came around twice) - although didn't disturb DD, luckily - and my own cold (DD and I must have caught them at the same time) stopped me sleeping the rest of the time. Hence decamping into the spare room (kept needing to cough, which always wakes up DD).

Oh, the joys of parenthood!!

Meant to add on the subject of baby nails, I cut DD's with nail scissors - straight ones, with rounded ends. I do hers the same as my guitar-playing left hand - one side, the other side, the middle. Gets them nice and short with no sharp edges. Takes patience, though. Having DD on my knee (while being distracted by Youtube videos of The Jungle Book) so I can cut them as if they were my own makes it easier, although I have been known to attack her nails on the changing mat, if she seems not-too-unreceptive.
I usually need to do them about once a week to ten days.
I'm not quite as nervous about the job now, but must be careful not to get complacent - that's when I'll draw blood, no doubt!
My sis confessed that she accidentally drew blood on all four of her DCs while cutting their nails as babies. She says even now they prefer her DH to cut their nails!!

IC DD loves to see me dancing round the kitchen to I Wanna Be Like You and the Bare Necessities.

I got this CD from Amazon and it keeps DD amused quite a bit although for some reason the one listed here doesn't have all the same songs I got on mine.

Thank you IC for explaining what a ceilidh is - how is it pronounced??? before I make a complete fool of myself and mispronounce it!

IC I totally empathise with the night you had last night, i had a similar experience two nights ago, although DD doesn't have a cold, she woke every 45 minutes and I felt desperate... I had a complete meltdown at about 4 in the morning, which was obviously heard far and wide as my Somali neighbour came round yesterday (she has six children) and told me to knock on her door next time as she would look after DD while I got some sleep! Last night after the 2 o'clock feed, I took her back to bed with me and we slept/nursed until 9 am! Record!

I also have the straight nail scissors with the curved end, and I stick DD in her cot with the activity bumper and cut her nails as confidently as possible. I also do it about once a week, although if she has a broken nail, I usually bite it off! She scratches her face really badly sometimes if I've forgotten to do it!

IC forgot to say I am also intersted in your novel but would hate to just read a chapter and then have to WAIT for more!! Would be more than happy to proof read or comment at a later stage if you like or else be the first to buy the finished product!

Overheard dd1 chatting to dd2 (in English, oddly, because I only speak German at home) earlier in the garden, telling her 'You stay there, okay?' while she went to get her doll's buggy... Made me grin - esp as the baby is hardly going to get up and run away. So lovely to see them interacting. dd2 thinks dd1 is the funniest thing ever and keeps watching her and dd1 has now realised she has a fan and 'performs' to the baby and keeps chatting to her (usually to tell her she can't have something because she is too small).
Having two is really hard work and last night after a particularly awful day I felt like I deserved a large glass of rose... but watching incidents like this morning does make me feel it is all worth it.
Sorry to hear some of you feel quite low at times. I don't feel low as such but get irrationally cross with dh..

Hi All,

AbsB - sorry about your nasty experience. Hope you aren't too shaken. I hope you're as relieved as I am about not going back - it has been such a weight off my mind. I know some people really want to and some people just have to financially.

Sunangel - I hope you resolve the breastfeeding issues with your work. There's some good advice in other people's answers. I also want to continue past 6 months. My mum is doing her cats-bum-mouth thing but she can bite me.

I don't know what I'm going to do for work when DS is big enough for me to start. I'm imagining in a couple of years I'll just get a boring part time job a couple of days a week and then when he's at school I will think about an actual career. But I'll be over 40 by then, so goodness knows what I will do. I'm thinking about maybe training as a massage therapist or similar.

CC - very impressed with the university for having breast pumps etc. Agree that 'lactation' is a bit errr... someone on AIBU described themselves as a 'lactivist'

Sleep - Are three wakings a night not normal? I assumed that this was par for the course. I'm not that tired (although by the end of the day I am, and I get quite short tempered). I also feed to sleep normally, but he can go off on his own.

He's been asleep for a couple of hours this afternoon.

I wish he would stay as still as he is now (checks breathing) when he sleeps at night - he seems to be still for the first shift (the longest sleep) but after that he's continually kicking and flapping even though he's fast asleep.

I do DS's nails the same way as IC - sides first and then across the middle. I have one pair of good baby clippers and one pair of crappy ones. The good ones are "the first years" brand.

Had a nice picnic yesterday - was worried the other mums would think I was an alkie as I took a bottle of prosecco but they all had a small glass (and then some of them had some pimms at the pub afterwards as well but I thought better not as breastfeeding).

IC thanks for the redirection to the Sleep and 3 month old threads. now feeling grateful that DD is sleeping at least 3 hours through especially after reading through your experience last night! Incidentally - cross posting I know - when DD having fed at night and is still not asleep, my technique is to hold her hands down (so she doesn't scratch herself) in the dark and tell her it's "Sleepytime" then nod off in that position. Usually it works. Had previously used the "Sleepytime" word when she was very dozy so that she associates it with going to sleep - per NCSS. Found that out by accident one night when she was upset I tried to feed her to sleep so I decided to let her be for a bit and I nodded off. When I woke up she was asleep - my arm and wrists hurt though from being in that awkward position! Only works at night and then only after she's fed up with feeding.

CC I either put scratch mitts on her for sleep time (more for preventing her scratching herself) or I pin the arm nearest to me down while holding down the other while she's feeding. Sometimes when she's upset I need to do that while jiggling/swaying her, which means standing on one leg for a bit while I adjust position (this is where the yoga comes in useful!) Despite diligently cutting her nails using baby clippers every 2 days - while feeding or letting her watch football on tv - she still manages to scratch herself quite viciously from time to time. Even with the mitts on she gives herself cloth burns

fizi, mama thanks for the info and encouragement!

On the positive side DD slept for 5 hours (!) from 7pm to 12am last night - quite sure the swimming tired her out, plus the lack of sleep the night before. Unfortunately no additional sleep for me as I was up trying to see if she would go 5 hours! Here's me hoping she does it again tonight....

bear when do they start reducing from 3 times a night do you know roughly?

Apparently if we introduce allergenic solids while breastfeeding there is some evidence that it may prevent the allergic reactions. So trying to breastfeed into solids introduction completion at least.

Abs - Kalee is how its pronounced.
i am full of the cold today feel miserable and could murder a lemsip .
we are giving purees here DS is 20 weeks. Just at dinner time when we all sit down to eat together anyway as he was getting quite distressed that we were eating and he wasn't and boob would n't cut it.
it is still really just a taste tho, he has had apple, banana, and squash. Loves to stick his hands in the bowl and generally make a mess. his big brothers think it is hysterical.
CC-lived in southern california 9 years ago. Miss the weather, Santa Barbara is lovely. hope you get settled quickly.

I feel a bit embarrassed when I feel sorry for myself for getting up once a night to offer dd2 teething gel... Wasn't on MN when I had my first and just thought it was normal for dcs to sleep through at an early age. DD1 slept 7pm to 10pm and midnight to 6am when she was 9 weeks. dd2 did even better and pretty much from birth only wanted to be fed once at 3am between midnight and 6/7am, and dropped that feed from one day to the next when she was 6 weeks old. She's now fast asleep from 7 pm to 7ish am, with the odd waking because of teething. I am so sorry for those of you still suffering sleep deprivation! Hope your LOs sleep better soon....
Oh, and to all you first time mums on this thread, you are doing an awful lot better than I was three years ago!!!

Ha, yes sunangel - I've done that baby pindown technique as well! Sometimes works, sometimes makes her more irate.
Also, weirdly, the best way to breastfeed her at the moment is to bounce up and down while doing so. On our bed, but also just bouncing myself using calves and thigh muscles when not on a surface with give. Great exercise, my cellulite is definitely going . If I don't do the bouncing, unless DD is very sleepy, she breaks off feeding and protests

Thanks for the interest, everyone! I've written about 40,000 words so far, which I reckon is probably about two thirds. It'll probably take a wee while to finish though. Your positive reception is good to help me keep motivated, however! Mind you, there will inevitably be a hiatus over summer while we go back to the UK and trek around seeing everyone.

I touched a (bitten) fresh cherry to DD's lips today as an experiment. She was quite interested and licked at it for a bit. Gave her a cute lipsticky look as well! I also sat her on my knee while we ate, but didn't observe much in the way of fascination with what we were doing. Still, I'll offer her bits and bobs and see what she does...

Argh, another bloody storm is underway!! The blighter had better be over when I go to bed, I really don't want another night like last night. Mind you, DH and I were able to give each other some time for a power nap this afternoon, which definitely helped.

"lactivist"

... think you realise you are a proper mum when your 3 year old has more of a social life than you do....

Snap! IC bouncing not on bed but using feet as well as calves/thigh muscles to calm her down to feed. Like the term "baby pindown" with mine if she gets irate I offer her the option to feed. Then she has the choice and can make a decision... which seems to cheer her up 90% of the time! Enough for me to doze off. It does get milk everywhere when she feeds then comes off repeatedly. Trains the mind in decision making??

militant lactivist