FEB 2010 No longer newborns!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Three months and counting, everyone! Our babies are gradually getting the hang of the world...and we are gradually getting the hang of them...

GF and FC we are also a two language, one parent one language household. Dh speaks English to dd1 and through playgroup she's also come on a lot in the last few months. I am almost concerned English is beginning to take over but I am pretty consistent with her unless we are in company where I tend to mix languages so others are not left out. DD1 doesn't seem to have a problem keeping the two languages apart.

Anyone else vegetarian and planning on bringing up their LOs vegetarian?

BG yes, but mostly vegan (want her to have tasted meats etc as don't want to tell a chld going to a party what to and what not to eat, plus DH is a meat eater), been too afraid to ask for advice for fear of being roasted. Guess the major thing for us will be what to do about dairy replacements as the bit of vegetarian reading I've come across has stressed the need for yogurts and cheeses for calcium and protein. Not really researched yet as figured even when you start weaning its just fruit and veg for a while. Then again BLW sounds good, but surely they eat everything I eat, dinners yes (normally made from sratch) but my lunches are outrageously processed. Does the need to research ever end. Guess she could have left over dinner for lunches

oooh our blog has a couple of posts (well I say our, its all DHs work)
I think of everyone as well, but forget to tell you all.

that supposed to be "surely they can't eat everything"

strangest places to BF, either in my office at old work in front of the other PhDers or on a rock in the peak district, while everyone else got on with climbing.

CC you are all very nice and pretty! For the vegan, I don't think you will be flamed. But it might be very difficult to raised a baby and toddler vegan. They can't have all the nuts and seeds before 1 for sure, may be 5 for the whole ones because of choking. For the vegetarian, I have met 2 kinds of people those who decide to give their children meat anyway, and teach them responsible eating and planned to switch when they are teens. And those who completely anti meat and won't even considerred kissing someone who have eaten meat. May be you should ask a Dr or a MW who is used to give advice on that kind of diet?
You have to monitor your DD very closely thouh, one of my vegetarian freinds has been obliged to give up as she was severely aneamic (sp?) no amount of good diet and supplement could help her, after a year she was threatenned to regular blood transfusions if she didn't try meat first. Hopefully eating meat works, so not all people are cut to be vegan or vegetarian.
FC GF BG billingual familly here too, actually more, as a familly we can speack fluently 4 languages but english is our common one. DD1 is trilingual. The "school" language is always dominant, DD1 now plays in romanian even if both DH and me are pretty useless at it. She started with french for being always with me, then when playschool started at 2.5 she switched to english, and 6 months after we moved to romania she prefered it. She understand well all 3 languages, but is probably behind her english peers for her age. French is her weakest at the moment, but she is improving a lot because she thinks that DD2 only speack french
I did a lot of research when DD1 was a baby. And you have to introduced them to a variety of sounds when they are babies, so yes speack both languages at home. When they reach 1, they stop learning and hearing new sounds, then when they reach 5 they stop "processing new word structure" so it becomes more difficult for them to learn new languages, unless they are gifted.

FC watercress CC I am in the sad weepy all day phase too. That's probaly why I spend so much time here. I can't probably deal with too much kindness or nastiness in RL without ending in a puddle!

Sorry again for the massive post, you are saved by DD2 finishing her morning nap, I can't hear her talking to the ceilling, so cute [melting emoticon]
have a nice day

Re bilingualism, mamaloco three/four languages is really impressive! Just noticed that dd1 speaks to the baby in English!?

Re vegetarianism, both dh and I are vegetarians, myself from about the age of 2 because I simply didn't like the taste or texture. The HV was a bit when I told her dd1 would be vegetarian, too, but relaxed that we'll allow fish for now (now she is 3 she gets capsules). To be honest I wouldn't know what to do with a chicken etc if it hit me on the head because I never learnt to cook non-vegetarian dishes...
I would also be a little concerned about bringing up a baby as a vegan because they may not get enough calories and calcium etc. but I know people have successfully done it.
cc wonder if your breast milk is vegan because you are?

cc love your blog!Good luck with the new job!!

[one handed typing - apologies for lack of capitals]
my LO did a bit of a stunt yesterday. she was on her changing mat on the floor in front of her cot. I had to open the door to a delivery and left her there for a minute. when i got back upstairs she was crying and i found her underneath her cot, looking a bit confused... she likes digging her heels in to push herself backwards (makes nappy changes interesting)but i never thought she would shoot off the mat and all the way under her cot

Hi all,

Thanks for the weaning info mamaloco and others. I know it's only a small difference but di they mean lunar or calendar months? I guess as there's so much leeway and all babies are different it doesn't really matter.

DS really not showing any interest in food right now (18 weeks/13 corrected).

Stranest place to breastfeed? I haven't done it anywhere oddly memorable that I can recall. The first few times in public were nerve-wracking but I have no shame now. I thought I would want to wean him off breastmilk completely by 6 months but I don't want to now - I think I'll continue at least until he 1.

Does anyone else have cats? My Missy is so jealous of DS she's always sittting in his places - cot/pram whatever and she was once sick in his baby gym (disgusting) and wiped her pooey bum on a brand new petit bateau t-shirt that he hadn't even worn yet. I am feeling little charity towards her at present.

I made the decision not to do anything outside the home until he is 2 and I am so happy and relieved. It was like there was a horrible egg timer going in the corner of my mind all the time. Now I can relax (mentally!) and just enjoy being mum for a while. We won't have money for takeaways etc but who cares. Im a lot less down/anxious now and happy mum = happy baby.

DrCC well done on the move to California, looking forward to taking a look at your blog.

It's really hot in London today - am going to an NCT picnic later.

Sleep has been utterly crap this past week, yesterday was worst day for a while as so sleep deprived. Another rubbish noght last night (loads of feeding/fidgeting) but he then decided to sleep from 6am-9am so now feeling a bit more human.

Oh forgot to say re languages - I am half Italian but born here and not fluent, about GCSE level I'd say. I have been talking to him a bit every day in Italian - this may sound mad - I use an owl puppet and so it's the owl (Marcello) speaking to him in Italian.

Hi All

Very impressed with the bilingualists on this thread! My DD is being exposed to Spanish as well as English - from the radio, people we meet in the street and our Hispanic friends. We talk to her in (bad) Spanish occasionally. We'll be here for another year (probably) then most likely back to the UK, which is a bit of a shame in some ways because she won't really have time to pick up much Spanish. Such a brilliant thing to be multi-lingual. My Spanish is slightly better than pants, but not much. My French ditto. And now when I try to talk French (to my Mum's boyfriend, for example) I get it muddled up with Spanish - luckily he understands Spanish quite well!!

Me and DH are also veggies. I may offer DD a little fish, but otherwise she will grow up vegetarian. My sister's kids were raised veggie, but two of them enjoy a bit of meat on occasion (and my sis lets them have some when they're out or at other people's houses etc.) - I would probably take a similar line.

Very sweet to inquire after the novel, FC! It's nothing highbrow - popular fiction is the idea and it's basically a mixture of light-hearted ghost story and less light-hearted murder mystery. If anyone's really interested (!) I'll email you the first chapter if you like and you can tell me if you think you would want to read on...

I thought last night was going to be a nightmare after DD's afternoon nap got decimated and she ended up having a total of 5-10 mins between 14.10 and bedtime. It took an hour to get her off to sleep and she woke up again three times an hour after that. I was steeling myself for all kinds of hideousness sleep-wise, but in fact she was no worse than usual - if anything a tiny bit better. Which was a relief.

Hi all. It's very hot here. I think I've burned my back . Very silly not to put any suncream on it.

I wish I could speak another language . I did take up French again a few years ago but didn't join any conversation groups or anything and so it lapsed again. I couldn't believe how difficult I found it actually. I remember it being easy peasy at GCSE.

We eat far too much meat in our house . It's difficult when the man of the house doesn't consider it a proper dinner without meat or fish. We have a vege dinner at least once a week and in fact it'll be two this week .

Must go, screaming baby

Quick post as DD has just woken up, is teething and (a very long story) I just had a policeman come round who issued me a ticket for talking on my mobile while driving yesterday (I was stuck in traffic with DD in the heat for an hour, a journey that usually takes 10 minutes!). 3 points and £60 fine... not great when you are on statutory maternity pay! Funny though, while he was writing the ticket, my dog was sitting at the pc's feet trying to nibble at it! Hilarious!

I'm a veggie (not eating dairy at the mo as DD is allergic) but I do eat fish because when I lived in Spain, I found it almost impossible to be a veggie. IC you need to watch out as EVERYTHING is cooked in lard (not just healthy olive oil)... look for "manteca de cerdo" sometimes just called "manteca"... it's in all pastries, biscuits, stews...I was gutted that I couldn't eat half the contents of my xmas hamper!!!

My DP (meat eater) is great at doing veggie food but we've decided that DD is going to have meat once or twice a week. I will pay great attention to where it's being sourced from... animal welfare is very important to us.. my sister who is also a veggie has had endless rows with her DH about feeding her twins meat... it's a contentious issue...

Oh dear AbsB about your fine. Seems a bit harsh if you were stationary at the time.

I too am veggie, but will be going against the concensus here and will be giving ds meat. I am veggie for ethical reasons and want dd and ds to decide for themselves when they are old enough. Dd is showing no sign of following in my footsteps at the moment as meat is one of her favourite things. In fact she hasn't realised yet that I don't eat it, which is exactly how I want it. Dp is a carnivore though so I guess my situation is a little different to those of you who never have meat in the house.

Had ds weighed today and he is 13lbs13oz. This drops him down the charts even more but I am not concerned and neither is the HV. He has put on 13 oz in 4 weeks which she said was fine, plus she reminded me the charts are based on ff babies, who tend to gain weight faster than bf ones.

We live near in pub and some clown has got one of those vuvuzela things judging by the noise. If it wakes ds up this evening (more than usual!) I shall be going round there and suggesting where he might like to shove it. I have a fairly low opinion of football/ers can you tell??

We had our 1st pooey bath! DS was very proud of himself

chinook poor you. My DH is a pub landlord and even him can't stand football supporters.

I can't help with the vegetarian/vegan weaning as we are a meat eater household.

I was right not to expect DS to sleep through the night last night. He didn't! But at least I wasn't disapointed!

i'm reading the No Cry Sleep book at the moment, I'll see if it can help. I love (not) arriving to work and my colleagues saying "Oh you look tired!" yes that bloody normal I have a 4. & 1/2 months old at home !!!!! Still I complain but it is not as bad as some of you

Rant over

Good night

ok, major rant here.... just walked my dogs with DD in the pram to the park which is quite an ordeal in itself! really drunk abusive man blocks my path and sits himself in a chair in my way so that i couldn't get past! He had been there drinking outside his house since the early afternoon with his house mates...anyway i was polite but said excuse me i.e. "get the fuck out of my way you loser, i have a baby!" anyway he and his friends (including a woman!)started shouting at me saying "it's just a chair, you fucking bitch!" i was astounded and really shaken up... long story short, phoned my neighbour to walk me home.

AbsB that's awful - you pooor thing. I hope you can treat yourself to a little glass of wine or some dark chocolate. Whne you have recovered, can you tell me whether you have cut dairy from everything (i.e. chocolate?) as I've been told to do the same and don't really know where to start. Poor you about the fine. My back windscreen was smashed the other night and I was visited by two police officers - surely they must have been a bit quiet that day?!!

IC would be interested to read your chapter as I think it's an amazing thing to do, especially now, - how do I go about sending you my email address?

GF We eat meat here (and I'm afraid we speak only one language, though have suddenly realised with DS2 how important it is to pronounce words properly as he was picking up our mispronunciations - now I just sound really posh! However, I want him to at least know the right way to say things, whether or not he chooses to do so is up to him!) I am a bit Welsh and can say the name of that long train station so does that count at all?!

BG very funny re baby under the cot. I once had my Godson over for the evening and he ended up under the bed too! (From the floor I hasten to add, not falling off it!) Our DS2 is now on such a slope to help cold and reflux that when we lie in our bed next to it it feels like we are in a capsizing boat!

Night all.

Thanks Bethylou, I am having a nice cold beer and actually called the police non-emergency number to report them! Poor you about your windscreen, what is happening to the world? I am still shaken up from earlier but glad that DP is now home!

Funny you asked about the dairy thing. It has made a huge difference to DD, she is smiley and happy (except the teething bit) and has gained weight... whereas before she was so miserable and everything was going straight through her. I have COMPLETELY cut out dairy, you must read the ingredients on everything carefully and look out for whey, whey powder and casein, also dairy derivatives. There is a dairy free chocolate that you can buy from health food shops... it's delicious and well worth it! It's not carob btw. Sainsbury's have a good dairy free range... Morrisons don't!

So, just as an anecdote... I dropped the dairy thing over six weeks ago, and noticed a difference almost immediately. Anyway, two weeks in, I decided to give myself an evening treat of a beer or glass of wine with a bag of walkers Salt and Vinegar crisps... delicious! Anyway, DD's green poos started coming back and I thought she had a virus or something... until last weekend, I read the small print on the back of the crisp packet and it said "Salt and Vinegar flavouring contains MILK"!!!!!!! AAAAGGGHHHH!!!! So again, gave them up, and in 24 hours she was right as rain! So, my advice is to give it up completely...!

Hey guys we've made the most active list .

Abs that is terrible, good for you reporting them. Out of interest how did you know that your DD is lactose intolerant? bethylou who told you? I'm just being nosy I'm afraid .

Lots of veggies on this thread!!

GF hope you have a better night tonight, and me too for that matter, and everyone else! Night.

annoying abs walkers were milk free until recently. I blame the credit crunch. There was a time when salt and vinegar pringles were dairy free as well . Seems like you've had a rough time, so hope your more relaxed now. How weird about the drunkerds, it would really unsettle me as well.

Just made a major schooldboy. LO was getting cranky during naked bum time (as we call it) while DH was getting bath ready. Its evening so figured I'd be OK to hold her.....cue being sick and doing a poo all over mummy.

Seems like we're on the same card re. veg food. My plan is also not to tell her I'm vegan, just that this is the food we eat at home if she ever notices it different. When she's a teenager then I plan to explain. DH doesn't really eat meat for dinner anymore, but when he does then she'll probably will as well. I don't want to give her dairy as I react to it, but just see how it goes.

Had a weird nite last nite. At one point yesterday we convinced ourselves she was teething (anything to explain the feeding fussiness). She woke up often, cried when tried to feed (not unusual) cue giving dummy to calm her down and she went straight back to sleep. After 7 hours of not feeding I did a sneaky substitute for the dummy with breast which worked and has continued to work throughout today. So thankfully no major trauma when feeding today. Maybe she wasn't hungry, but to jump from 2 hrs one nite to 7 the next is freaky.

Went to the uni today, apparently skateboarding is as common as a bike to get around and there's even skateboarding lanes

The uni also has feeding facilities. There are various "moms roooms" around campus for either feeding or expressing. Each has a hospital grade pump which every mum has to buy connectors bits etc. which are sold at the campus book store.

Oh mamaloco thank you very much for the pretty remark (LO and DH I suppose also thank you).

Impressive stuff, CC - good to hear they're switched on about BF mums at your Uni! It'll be interesting to hear how your DH gets on as SAHD. I met one at the playgroup here in Madrid. He described it as "really tiring and often rather tedious" - which is probably fair!! I told him to make sure his male friends realise the tiring part of looking after a LO...

Yikes, thanks for the warning Abs! Must admit, I haven't checked for lard, so have probably ingested large quantities of it by now. I must admit, I don't tend to get too worried about being super cautious regarding things like that, but try and avoid if I'm aware there are meaty ingredients in stuff...
What a crappy couple of incidents you've had to put up with in the last day or two! Why are so many English people so aggressive when they've had a couple of drinks? That kind of behaviour is really rare over here and the Spanish love to drink. Drunken violence, when it happens, is more likely to be from foreign tourists...

On the subject of being veggie in Spain, once I ordered a salad and asked for it to come without tuna (as mixed salads here invariably come with flaked tuna). So I was given the salad with chunks of ham instead

Must admit, I'm now completely confused about the whole weaning thing. DD can't yet sit up on her own, although she holds her head up nicely - it just feels too soon to start her on any kind of solids. But then, what do I know? I bought a couple of baby spoons anyway....

That's very sweet of you to ask for the chapter, bethylou! Think the best way would be if you leave your email (written out in full) as a comment on our blog and I'll delete it pronto once I've got it. Would that work, do you think? It's the way Sunnymummy did it (although she didn't ask me to delete it).

Meh, I've got another cold coming. DD avoided the last one, not sure if she'll stay clear of another one. I've asked DH to take over the night shift resettling if I get a cough and I'll move into the spare room until it's gone. Last time I kept waking up DD when I coughed and my paranoia about doing so definitely contributed to the insomnia I had. Plan is DH will come and get me when DD needs feeding/resettling (but any prolonged tummy patting or dummying will be his department for the duration...)

DD was very restless last night. Not sure if it was the possible onset of a cold (she's been a bit sneezy and coughy, but not unhappy and her nose is still clear), or she was a bit too hot in her swaddle or neither of the above. Who can tell??

Abs what a shocking thing to happen. Why would anyone find it entertaining to intimidate a new mum.

IC don't worry about weaning. It is such a contentious issue for some reason. I am definitely going to wait a while yet. Sitting up unaided and losing the tongue thrust reflex seem to be universally regarded as key factors for readiness, and ds is not ready yet going by that. Plus I shall be BLW again which takes the decision out of my hands. This is one of the main attractions of BLW to me.

Also won't be using a highchair this time. I think it was one of the biggest wastes of money with dd. They are so big and get in the way, and the horror of cleaning it! I ended up dumping it and getting one of those chairs which clip to the edge of your dining table. I have noticed that all my friends who have had more than one child have just used these the second time. I think your house becomes so unbelievably full of the kind of plastic toys you swore you would never buy, that you just can't fit a highchair in second time round.

Have noticed ds is awake for longer between naps now and has a definite going to bed and getting up time. He gets up at 0630 and has his first nap at 0830 and goes to bed at 1830. The bit in the middle is more flexible and tends to be determined by dd and how long she lets him nap before being so noisy she wakes him up. Grrrrr.....

Thanks, chinook for the reality check! It's so easy to get hung up on these things, especially as a first-timer...

Forgot to say, CC - nice blog! What a good-looking family you are!

IC - I would second what chinook says about BLW taking the decision out of your hands. If your baby can't physically feed him/herself and swallow then the theory is that they are not ready to wean. The most important thing is that you don't help them put the food in their mouth - they must do it on their own.

DS2 is nowhere near ready yet. He even tries to tongue thrust his own thumb out of his mouth!!

Just had the HV here for ds2's 4 month "inspection" as I like to call it He is 61cms, and 6.1kgs (about 13lbs 7oz) and following his line beautifully. I don't know when I will next get him weighed but he is probably just about to hit the plateau that excl bf babies reach around 4 months, so will not expect a big gain over the next wee while. We are going to the clinic shortly to get his third round of vaccinations. Apparently there wasn't any way to do the check and the imms at the same time, so it will have taken up a huge chunk of the precious free time (free as in time to do chores without ds1 around...) while ds1 is at nursery.

Summer hols start next week here. It will be a loooong seven weeks to fill with ds1, and then he only does half days at school until september.

Re languagues: dh is billingual (he spent a lot of time in Holland growing up, and has dual citizenship), but speaking to ds1 in dutch just fizzled out. As the native speaker, it was really up to him to keep at it, but he didn't. Shame really, bit of a waste I think, but I can't make him do it. ds1 knows a wee bit of dutch, but that has mostly come from me, so it is probably all wrong

There are so many opinions on weaning, I am not sure which ones are backed up by fact/scientific research anymore. I think mama and others have it right though to go by your baby and use your instinct (afair those who have started already seem to have babies that are quite physically developed anyway).

I would love to hear the experiences of those who have tried BLW. I really want to try it but I am already considered a bit of a slave to faddish trends around here and childminder and MIL are both insisting on starting with very finely mushed purees. I am going to float the idea past my paediatrician at our five month check in three weeks. DD can't sit up unaided yet, and still has the tongue thrust, however replacement paed snorted at my perceived ignorance last month when I mentioned that I would be waiting until DD could sit up unaided before trying solids. She said that I could be waiting until seven or eight months and it depended on her weight!

I would be interested to hear the opinions of mamaloco and GF on BLW in a completely honest and open way as I would like to know how French people really perceive this (I promise not to be offended if you too think I am a slave to faddish trends! )

Teething continues to be a nightmare.

Abs - sorry to hear about your points/drunken man incident. I agree with IC about the drinkinng though - while no one got 'drunk' and certainly not agressive, DH was shocked at the amount Irish rellies knocked back at DD's christening.

DrCC - your uni sounds like my kind of paradise, those kinds of facilities would have made BF and my return to work compatible - when I'm Ruler of the World...

Still struggling emotionally, DH doesn't get it at all and I am failing to explain to him how I feel - he can't be expected to just know or understand especially as I don't understand what my emotions are up to right now - he is doing so much already and is a bit hurt that his efforts are rewarded with wails of "But you don't understand" and frequent unexplained tearful outbursts.