FEB 2010 No longer newborns!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Three months and counting, everyone! Our babies are gradually getting the hang of the world...and we are gradually getting the hang of them...

Love family wee

GF how is being back at work?

I must get on with wedding planning instead of MN

Ladies, we are in 0-3 clothes finally, only took 14-15 weeks.

Will catch up tomo (hopefully) when time, but sounds like your all as fabalous as usual you sexy beasts.

Here is my back to work story:

I have discovered that despite leaving clear instructions on what to do, my lists and contacts are either a mess or not up to date. So I am well annoyed by that. I am soo tired as DS is not sleeping well (he wakes up 4 to 5 times a night and stay awake crying, then start the game here is the dummy, spit the dummy...So not that much sleep, which mean that by 2pm I only dream of one thing: to sleep! And spend the next hour fighting against sleep.

fizi when is the wedding for?

CC massive congratulations! This is quite a milestone I reckon.

GF How frustrating for you. When I got back to work last time it took them 7 weeks to replace my desk that had mysteriously disappeared while I was on leave. As far as I can tell, they may even have moved premises this time round!

BG bet it won't be long before our DC2s are really getting their own back! DS2 in 6-9 months and some of those are getting a bit tight - it's mad! However, he has only gained 2oz in the last fortnight due to more sick and increased nosiness so guess things may slow down now.

Rubbish feeding day and finally contemplating formula - I should be pleased to have managed 4 months of breastfeeding because it has been anything but easy, yet I still feel guilty/sad/frustrated that I can't feed my baby myself when the milk is clearly available. DS2 is still awake and giving me lovely smiles though.

Hoping to go for a swim if he will finally go to sleep - tends to cry non-stop if I leave him awake with DH in the evenings.

GF sounds hard! When I got back after dd1 my maternity cover refused to give me my desk back. I had a bit of a tantrum about it actually and she backed down... I was also pretty pissed off that she did just that, 'cover' in the most basic sense but ended up with a new contract while I got made redundant after a year . Absolutely no connection to anything but it still felt like a slap in the face when I was struggling to combine full time work with dd1, then got made redundant [no ones fault I hasten to add - there simply is not as much money for research as there used to be]
Sorry, rambling again... There's actually a job going in the place I worked in and I'm a bit while dh is , expecting me to apply... Honestly don't feel I am ready for work, especially with the people I worked with before, and with two dcs. Also, I managed to take off nearly a year with dd1 (half of that on full pay - universities can be generous) and feel it is unfair to take less with dd2.

DD messed up my work plan by her early arrival - I would have been on maternity leave until my contract ran out, then would have been eligible to collect unemployment benefit. Unfortunately, that was all brought forward by a month and I couldn't go back to fulfill my contract, so goodbye state handouts. Ah well.

How frustrating, GF, I hope things settle down again soon (as for the sleep, well...)

BG grrr... btw, I think you should post your pic of DD2 with her mad hair somewhere we can see it!

bethylou, you've done incredibly well to stick with it for four months, not sure I could have done so in your position. But I remember how I felt when I feared I would have to give up the fight to BF - it's a bereavement, isn't it?

Yay, CC!! Way to go! My DD has just started to fit into 3-6 months without them being ridiculously loose on her. Took 20 weeks!!

Yes, fizi, more details about the wedding please!

chinook that webchat was ace, really interesting. Made me feel a whole lot better about the whole sleep thing. I went and read the paper she linked to about cultural differences and infant sleep, fascinating stuff. That and Deborah Jackson (I'm well on my way to finishing Baby Wisdom now) have put the whole sleep thing into perspective. I'm even feeling less tired!!

Right, better go and start contemplating my tax return - in Spanish! Eek!

IC are there no mat benefits in Spain or are you not eligible (nosy sorry)?

GF it sounds very tough, lack of sleep coupled with being back at work and it all being chaotic . Hope that your DS sleeps well tonight and that you get to grips with things...

I am facing up to the fact that I probably won't be going back to my old job in London, unless they agree to my very flexible conditions request (PT and part of that WFH) so I'll need to get job hunting. BOO HOO. If there is anything worse than going back to work, it has got to be starting a new job after a lenghy break. And updating the CV, and doing interviews, all when I don't even want to work!! Bloody money eh.

bethlylou I second what IC said .

BG I am at your mat cover!! Can you manage without going back? I might start having that conversation with my DP...

No wedding planning accomplished yesterday. What a surprise. Why oh why didn't I listen when I was repeatedly told that it would be difficult to plan a wedding with a new baby... The wedding is on 2nd Oct and we have a venue, a registrar, a caterer (but no menu planned), half the wine chosed but not bought, and evening entertainment. No where to sit yet mind, until we order tables and chairs it'll be the dusty floor... . Not bad I guess but it's all the little fiddly bits that are left to do. Oh yes and I've chosen a dress but still have to think about shoes, hair, makeup (what's that again?!). I think I will probably have my hair down loose and blow-dried for the first time in a few months and no makeup I expect!!

How exciting, fizi!! My SIL is a jewellery designer who specialises in bridal stuff. - google Hermione Harbutt jewellery and check out her stuff. The hair pieces in particular are FAB, she won an award for them.

You get 4 months maternity benefits here in Spain, but after that you have to go back to your job - not sure if you can extend it on less pay, actually, but don't think you can - you can go back on half your previous hours (by agreement with your employer). I looked into that, but it was still too many hours and I didn't want to put DD in childcare, so there it is. I had to resign "for personal reasons". My boss was lovely about it and did his best to find a way of giving me something, but we couldn't get round the rules, unfortunately. With any luck, I'll be able to get a few private students when we come back after the summer.

Hi all,

Long time and all, doing well here with my small but perfectly formed little man, I too am celebrating growing into and in some cases out of 0-3 months, finally.

I threw in the towel with breastfeeding last week and though it was sad it was no where near as sad as a bereavement! I have to say my DS is looking chubbier and happier already and my DD is even happier as she can hold the bottle, so bethylou my sympathies to you with your dilemma but in the grand scheme of things it really isn't that bad and you have done brilliantly so far, as friends have said to me. Hope it works out whatever you decide.

I daren't even write this but my DS has been sleeping through the night now for two weeks, trying not to get too used to it as it all could change but sooo grateful, especially since my DD has decided sleep is for losers for 6 WEEKS AND COUNTING, ARGGH!

Sleeping through the night. No sorry, not familiar with that phrase

I have been thinking about work too. I just bumped into a colleague at dd's nursery and he said there have been lots of changes while I have been away with more to come. It's a bit unsettling, particularly as I am supposed to be in charge. My company are brilliant at offering part time contracts when you have had a baby but only offer the minimum maternity pay. Statutory maternity pay is a bit of a shock and doesn't stretch very far.

Been buying dd's first school uniform today. I cannot believe how quickly time flies. She was completely underwhelmed but I had a lump in my throat. Even though part of me cannot wait to have just one dc to look after. Hopefully by then ds will have nice long naps and I might get (whispers) some time to myself....

Did anyone else's LO go a bit crazy around four months? I don't mean the sleep regression - I mean she's doing that too - but she has developed a loud shriek/scream and she has been using it almost all day for the past few days. Nothing seems to keep her occupied, not her baby gym or sitting in her chair or being carried around by me. It's driving me a little bit mad... tell me it will stop?!

I wany my baby back .

fizi mine is shrieking a lot right now and she is loud, too. Today I tried to put her in her bouncy chair in the kitchen so I could cook but she actually shouted really loud until I picked her up, then gave me the sweetest smile! Absolutely nothing wrong with her, just wanted to get her own way! Maybe our LOs are just asserting their individuality? Oh, and she is convinced she's older than she is and kept wanting to stand on my lap while I tried to have dinner. Nothing else would do eg sitting on my lap, madam had to stand!
Love it really how their characters come through more and more

PS. Absolutely have no desire to return to work anytime soon [anxiously looking over my shoulder to make sure dh is nowhere near to see what I type...].

Ah yes, the short attention span.... DD has that too. Doesn't shriek, kind of fusses (or shouts if no one else is in the room) to make it clear she's bored and wants some different entertainment. The thing that keeps her quiet the longest is putting her in the sling and going for a walk (walking around the flat won't do). She's fascinated by everything she can see, so provided I (or DH) don't stand still for too long, she's happy.
Well, it's helping my jeans feel looser!!

Her naps were messed up yesterday. She's been having a long nap in the middle of the day/early afternoon, but only managed a series of shortish ones, the last one ending at 15.30, which is a bummer - just too early for bed-time, just too late to get another proper nap in (I did try) - so she went into meltdown when I did put her to bed (early). Luckily it didn't take TOO long to calm her down enough to feed and drop off, then after a brief wake-up ten mins after going down, she only woke for short feeds and one nappy-change until 0600. She had been sleeping (on and off) until around 0800, but getting up time has become earlier, which is a bit of a shame. Still, I went to bed super early myself last night - think I was sound asleep by 21.00 - so don't feel too bad.

The words "sleeping through the night" are banned in this house

Nice to hear from you again clappedout!

LO weighed 4.6kg yesterday, which I don't know exactly in real money, but I know is at least 10lb. HV said she was perfectly in proportion and even had sometime watch me feed, which was all good. (Am in different area, so different HVs). She had followed the same line, but will have to wait for some time to pass to see if she has settled down, percentile wise.

We are now all packed and in fact am leaving for the airport in the next hour, so really should eat my breakfast and shower. The place we're staying for the first two months has internet so hopefully will stay in touch for a little while yet.

bethylou I also had a wobbly moment with BF the other day. More tired than anything I think. She was being really fussy and wouldn't latch, though not in the same way as the nursing strike we had before. I think it might have something to do with my hormones as iirc during my last period she was a bit funny as well. It was all irrational really as there was plenty of EBM in the fridge.

Sleeping through the night....ha (will get there sometime before school I'm sure)

Anyway keep up the good work and speak to you soon

Bon Voyage, CC!!

Safe journey CC.

Agree with all those who don't want to go back. I've spoken to DH about it and hopefully I won't be returning to my course. It is full time and I think I could about as easily cut off my arm as I could do a full time nursing course (plus homework, 12 hour shifts when on placement etc. etc.).

He is coming round to the idea, and I am making plenty of sensible points about my mum who thinks she is going to look after DS - she is 64, has MS, is extremely short sighted. She may want to, but it's pretty obvious to me she's not physically capable.

We have to buy her heavy shopping for her (cat litter, bottles of fizzy water) as she can't carry them. Don't know how she thinks she's going to cope with a 1-year-old who needs to be picked up all the time.

I also am not keen on the way she calls DS "my baby" and seems inordinately keen to get her hands on him without thinking about what's best for him. She wasn't the best mum, although she meant well - and I don't really want her being in loco parentis, you know? He needs me.

We are in the lucky position of owning our home outright, so with no worries on accomodation costs I think we will be able to manage.

Bon voyage CC! That when I wish the BF would have worked! much more easy to travel. Good going with your DD weight as long as they are in proportion it is all good.
Over the different country I have met mums from, the worries are mainly with tall (above 90%) and skinny (below 10%) babies. If your have low % for both and all seems fine, then it is just a petite baby.
Bear best toys for now are deffinitely her feet! she also like any kind of fabric preferably with motifs or raised bits (its a girl!) and something to bite on!
BG I undestand your non desire to go back to work! they are small for such a short time! we didn't really choose for me to be a SAHM. It was cheaper, and the only way that DD1 would be bilingual. I would have had to pay to go to work as the child care is so expensive in the UK. One of my freind decided to go back even if she is earning after paying the CM only enough for a hair cut a year. but she is passionate about the research she is doing! I was already bored before having DD so no way I would pay to go back!

shrieking, shouting, speacking very loudly here too, there are finding their voices!

when DD2 on my knee for my diner she is now trying to grab everything and open her mouth when my food is on the way to mine. that why I don't do BLW, it is suitable only to late developper. tiny babies need some guidance. Any feeding is baby led anyway, I have never met a parent forcing food down a reluctant baby!

have a nice week end

Have a good journey CC

Finally it's the weekend...

If you can avoid going back to work, do it!!! I think I may look into how to modify my job in order to maybe go part-time (DH is not aware of this yet...) but I can't do anything before 5 months as if I leave my employment, I'll have to pay back my maternity leave allowance (the thing I don't understand is that my employer never paid me the allowance , it was paid by Social Security... so why pay back my job and not SS ) I think the hardest is that most of my colleagues who just had a baby are now on part-time / flexitime and I can see their faces when I say that I'm back full-time.

DS is now staring at us when we eat but doesn't want to eat anything else than milk yet... It'll come soon enough.

He is wearing 3-6 month size clothes at the present, he outgrown his 0-3 months just after turning 3 months so I'll guess he'll do the same for those ones. He now weighs 6.8kg (15lb) and measure 61cm.

I've bought a paddling pool to put in the garden as DS loves playing in water and hopefully the weather will stay nice.

I need ot go and wrap the present and write the card for Father's Day.

Have a good weekend...

Happy weekend, All!

Poor DH ended up in the spare room last night, thanks to DD REFUSING to settle back to sleep after 0400 for almost 2 hours . Typically, she dropped off ten mins after he left the room and stayed asleep until 07.30. She's been taking longer naps today to make up for it, but I wish she'd do more sleeping at night! (that said, I don't want to lose the naps, they're essential for my sanity - and hers)

I'm hoping DD may give DH a Father's Day present by resettling quietly all night and having a bit of a lie-in tomorrow morning [pigs might fly emoticon]

Hello everyone. Just checking in after a while - so sorry that I won't mention people by name, but just chat about themes (if you know what I mean)...

We've just had a few days away as DH is between jobs. DD1 surprised us by declaring that she wanted to share a room with DD2, and it worked out really well, so it's good to know that they can do it! It was a great holiday for DD1 as she got to ride her bike and swim all day, though DD2 seemed to hate the pool (strange, as she loves the bath, but maybe she's just a bit little at the moment).

DD2 has not long gone into 0-3 month clothes too (6lb 2oz at birth), but is already outgrowing them and is breaking into 3-6 months (though nearly everything is second hand and the sizes really vary). I also have the problem that she is skinny (so trousers are often too big around the waist) yet her feet seem quite long (so babygrows with feet don't last as long as they could).

I tried weaning but she simply isn't ready (she has the tongue thrust reflex) so I'm going to wait a couple of weeks before trying again. Though the threat of food appears to have been enough of a threat to have made her redouble her efforts on the bottle!

As for toys, she loves her gym (will do 20 minutes at a time), her door bouncer and her hands and feet! Her best entertainment is definitely when people talk to her (especially her sister) when her face lights up.

She is lovely and gorgeous and my heart melts everytime I look at her. She is smiling and giggling and it's just the boost I need as I feel very low at the moment. If it wasn't for her, I don't know where I'd be. And DD1's declarations of love for her mummy also help! I'm so so lucky to have two such beautiful girls, in temperament as well as looks.

Sorry about tmi but does anyone else have surprisingly heavy periods after dc(s)?

Marking my place after a couple of really busy days which meant I have had to search to refind this again! Will try to post properly in the next couple of days. Hugs to Watercress though and no periods here yet BG.

Aw, watercress, what's wrong? (Don't answer that if you don't want to...)

Well, DD did give DH a Fathers' Day present by, if not resettling fast overnight, at least allowing herself to be quietly patted and dummied back to sleep by me. Took a while, but at least I could stay lying down in bed and she didn't cry, which is excellent. It's been a while since I've got her back to sleep without feeding her too, so in some ways a bit of a breakthrough (even though I still had a very disrupted night...)

Happy Fathers' Day to all DHs/DPs (and our own dads too)!

BG yes the first few months my periods were far more heavy than before been pregnant. Now they're back to normal (my 1st period were back in March)

DS had a weird moment during the time, crying with nothing able to settle him down. The odd thing is that he did that a few weeks ago! He cried soo much that he made himself vomiting... at least it cleared some of the mucus from his throat away. Once done, he fell straight back to sleep.

I know I should not complain about DS funny fix at night as he sleeps most of the nights fine.

I think I need to go back to the GP as he is still not right even after 10 days of antibiotics for his chest infection.

watercress hope things will get better.