June 08: I see it, I want it, it's mine!

[spongebrainmaternitypants]

Welcome to our new thread .

Neenz- lets hope they shut up about France now! How well do you get on with your SIL? Good thing she is sticking up to them too.

Bad behaviour here too, lots of screaming if we take things off him that he isn't allowed or stop him trying to knock the TV over etc, I just say no, remove him from whatever it is or it from him and ignore the screaming. Don't know that it is working though!

We didn't go swimming, J eventually fell asleep and needed some sleep before we could think about going but by the time he woke up it was too late to get to the shops and buy some swimming nappies, go swimming and get home in time for lunch.

Abdn - I think it is just chalk in rennies and the like, or at least very similar so should be OK.
I think we will be going back to Ikea when we finally get round to getting a mattress, tend to be fairly cheap and the advantage of being 2 mins down the road.

Sponge where are you? The magic x posting has stopped!

Yeah its been raining here on and off all day. Managed to go for a walk to the library and finally get S joined. It's a pretty good wet weather option - S loves pulling out all the books! Its been a long day though - will be glad when DH home!

Neenz good for you and dh standing up to your pil. The France holiday sounds like kind of thing my mother would like to do but fortunately doesn't suggest.

Tantrums here too- complete with stamping feet today which I found interesting as she forgot she cAn't walk and was stamping without holding on.. Distraction and no works although she does seem to laugh at me when I say no even if I am cross (well not cross but being stern). It doesn't bode well.

Edie also keen on book destruction visits to the library

Yeah Abdn, I think you're right - he does understand! He has started being really rough with Esther, pushing her over - she cracked her head really hard on the front door today when he pushed her straight backwards into it when they were playing in the hall. She usually never bothers when she falls over but she cried a lot this time . But most of the time they are both angels

Anyone else feel like they are on the precipice between being the type of parent whose kids do what they say and the type whose kids ignore them totally? I feel like it could go either way! Need to get the Toddler Taming book out again I think

And yes I was very proud of DH standing up to his parents - he told me afterwards he has seen them in a totally new light and not a good one . Yes hopefully that is the last we will hear of france, although I am not holding my breath! I get on OK with SIL but they live down South so we don't see them loads, but yes she feels the same as I do about family holidays!

S either doesn't understand or chooses to completely ignore the word no. Am on that precipe with you neenz! Another massive tantrum at tea so DH now putting him to bed but he's not really eaten anything! First foot stamping witnessed too poppy!

Hi guys, just a quick post as I am dog tired after a day out in Wisley with the out laws (photos on FB if anyone interested!).

We have tantrums too, when things are removed that are wanted or he's stopped doing something that he wants to do. Not doing anything different from what you guys are doing, but it seems we're making little headway at the mo!

poppy, totally with you on the DM thing - it really worries me that something I say about my ILs or other people I know could be printed in a daily newspaper and I could be identified. It's a scum rag too which makes it worse! Will be much more careful where and what I post from now on.

Neenz, ohmigod about your PILs - how rude of your FIL to say that ! Hopefully they'll realise now . My MIL is being a major PITA at the mo. Have just spent two days with her and she has hardly said two words to me . SIL came up as well yesterday and she made a few comments about how she should be trying for kids as it's not too late, etc. Think she's desperate for a GC from her own daughter so she doesn't have to hang around me anymore .

Well, will ktpie x-post tonight?!

Oh, forgot to say Neenz, thanks for the comments on MBs. We're going buggy shopping next Saturday so have added your comments to our growing collection .

The Gardens today were FULL of P&Ts - I have never seen so many double buggies in my entire life, and bar one Nipper 360 and one Jane PowerTwin, they were ALL P&Ts!!

Too common for me then !

Sponge welcome to Guildford, land of Bugaboos for DC1 followed by P&Ts for DC2! I am serious it is amazing. 50% of my NCT group had Bugaboos.

Your Wisley photos are great. Is it ok though to have your car reg on FB? I assume it is as only your "friends" would be able to see it. Thought I would metion it though.

Sponge the magic has gone! Although I'm not too far behind, just had a look at your pics, looks like a lovely day, J has that same outfit!

Is the toddler taming book any good Neenz? Having bought/read seemingly all pregnancy/baby related books I could find before since we moved they haven't been unpacked, haven't even dug out my pregnancy books yet, but they were so well read last time I can remember all the vital stuff (at least I think I can).

I think what we really need is an IL taming book, mine are pretty good really although my MIL can be a PITA sometimes. Then again so can my mum.

We get sort of foot stamping here, when I pick him up to move him away from something he sort of stamps with both legs at the same time and thrashes about.

Sponge have you thought about what you will do with Alex when you go into labour? We were talking about it the other day and haven't come up with any good ideas about who will look after J, the thought of either my mum or the ILs coming over and being around fills me with dread. What did other people do? DH suggested taking him to hospital but I don't think that would be allowed/appropriate/sensible.

Lol Ali, you could soooo tell we were in Surrey, dahling! Lots of yummy mummies around, and children dressed head to toe in their designer gear, with their designer buggies, etc, etc! As you can imagine I fitted right in . . . not!

Didn't think about my number plate - it is only available to friends, what could someone do with it?

ktpie, tbh the whole thing about Alex and my labour brings me out in a cold sweat . I would have said taking him into hospital is totally impractical, it certainly would be for us. I need dh to be concentrating on me and he wouldn't be able to if he had Alex with him. I 100% want my mum to have him but the big problem there is that she lives 2 hours away and only travels by train - a little tricky if I go into labour in the middle of the night. I don't, under any circumstances, want my MIL looking after him. They are also 2 hours away but have a car.

I did have a list of friends who was going to call on to have him until mum got here, but have since found out THREE of them (my top 3 too) are all going to be away the week I'm due cos it's half term .

Half of me is hoping that I will have to be induced again cos at least that way my mum will have time to reach us.

Sorry, that's not much help. Could you consider a home birth at all? I know I couldn't cos I need an epidural, but you might be more confident.

Sponge not sure what the deal is about car reg's, just know that they get blanked out on TV. Then again, children get blanked out on TV and we have our kids all over FB. Just ignore me . I am about 45 mins from your house, so you can always call me when the time comes if needed

Ok... cue the sound of heavenly choirs... Last night P did the longest sleep of his life: 6.45 till 6.15. . The only thing that was different was that I gave him two biscuits with his milk after his bath (and then brushed his teeth). It will probably turn out to be a fluke, but I still had the freaky moment when I was woken by the alarm at 6am and had to work out what was going on, and then go and check that he was still breathing.

Fraser slept until six too - but DH and I managed to have a small fight last night which meant we were up later and didn't take advantage of it. (We're fine now, it's just the stress of me quitting and DH's contract renewal - money is horrible, or at least worrying about having enough is).

When Fraser was born we had my MIL staying with us for three weeks and although I was NOT happy about it, it turned out to be a good thing as my labour was really fast and it would have been horrible to wake DS1 up in the night and take him to a different house at 23 months old! We didn't have anyone who could come to our house - all our friends on the list had young kids of their own. So maybe having the ILs isn't the worst thing? It was much better for DS1 to wake up in his own bed and go through a normal day with his grandmother and in the end, that was more important than me having my own space.

Ktpie and Sponge - mil came to stay with us when T and then E were due. I did panic here before she arrived as I was certain that he'd be early and of course he was 10 days late and she had to change her flight home to make sure she saw him!I had a friend on stand by too. A friend had to take his older 2 into hospital with him as it was all too fast and luckily it was OK , but imagine doing that and the labour going on for hours with your dh split between you and ds.

Ali - well done to the wondrous sleeping baby!!

Got another estate agent coming round today so cleaning here and it's soooo hot

Ali, thank you .

I appreciate that others may have better relationships with their MILs, but it's not just that I don't get on with her, I don't trust her to look after Alex properly either which means I just couldn't possibly do it . She just doesn't seem to have any common sense and I would be genuinely worried about him.

Anyway, hopefully mum will be here alot towards the end of my pg so the problem won't arise .

Right, talking of my lovely mum, I'm off to Brighton to spend the week with her!

sponge if you don't trust her that's a different story - My MIL and I may be very different people but I knew she'd keep DS1 safe. What about friends and neighbours? i have to admit that our back up plans are often contacts through the church - I don't know how else I'd have found them.

It is scary without family close by - one time DH and I were both sick at the same time and I started to worry about our ability to take care of DS1. I asked our health visitor if she knew of a service where you could pay for someone to come into your house and take care of your kids (and you) when you were sick and all she could offer was social services. I was so upset! But I mentioned it to someone from the church and they asked around and we had four women volunteer if we ever needed them. Now that we've been here longer we have a better network (again mainly through the church) and I'm more confident we'd manage okay.

Sponge - DH's hospital suggestion was not taken very well by me! I have a couple of friends round here but one of them I'm afraid I wouldn't trust, although lovely she is a little clueless, the other is a possibility but she works full time so would only work out if the timing was good. I have the feeling it is going to end up being the ILs coming over as my mum has my Grandma to look after so couldn't drop everything to come. Not ideal, we had to ask the ILs to leave when they visited after J was born as they just hung around for blooming ages and were massively stressing me out. You are right Abdn, would be the best thing for J. Hmm got a while to think about it.

Don't fancy a home birth after J's birth. At the end J was in distress and I had a room full of doctors, ventuose, forceps and then shoulder dystopic so poor kid was dragged out, he was fine but the end bit was so quick, about 30 mins from beginning of pushing stage and so stresssed as he was in distress and they were trying to get him out quickly, don't know how it would have worked out if we had been at home.

Sorry very self centred post, hope you are all OK!

When we had dd my mum came to stay for 2 weeks as we had no one to stay with ds1 if I went into labour overnight. She lives 2 hours away and can't drive so it was a stay or nothing. It was a good job as I started in labour at midnight and had her at 9.00 in the morning. We were home by midday though so he only had a few hours without us. I had a homebirth with J and would not have had the kids at home. It would be too frightening for them I'm sure. There is noise and blood and often a quite stressful birth moment and they do not need to be there for that. Also I needed dh for me.

My mum was ace though and really helpful beforehand. She also went home the morning after the birth as she felt we needed time alone as a family. Love her!

Crikey, I've killed the thread

I'm here too hoping other people will post. My children are throwing clean laundry all around the living room. Fortunately it's all theirs...

Just marking my place really. Been off for the day with DS and DH to swimming and the book festival. DS had a lovely time I think and happily home with 3 new books. One a freebie too!

Back to work for me tomorrow

Hello. BDQ, that sounds like a good day. I met a friend for lunch in town and ran into Viva in Wagamama. And then did more shopping...

Abdn, we're in pretty much the same situation. Not much family around - only DP's sister really, and whilst she's well-intentioned, she's not that great with small children. Same with most of my friends - all lovely, but not many of them have any experience of kids. I have a good babysitter these days, but I really don't know what we'd do if we were really stuck. Just hoping it never happens.

I have a sore and lumpy boob after stopping bf - and started leaking today which I haven't done for absolutely ages. Anyone else had this when they stopped? How long does/did it take to settle down? It's about a week since I stopped, and I was only doing two feeds at the end.

Ali, excellent news on sleeping. Hmmm, biscuits you say? I'm still trying to get B to have some bedtime cows' milk (or is it cow's milk?). I might try giving him some Weetabix or something before bed.

We have a stropfest on our hands here too. He laughs when I say 'no' in my stern voice accompanied by Whinegums' death stare (used to be able to make grown men wet themselves in fear with that combo). If he persists, I remove him and stick him in the playpen for a few minutes. Whinging and trembling - known as 'wittering' for some bizarre reason in our family - ensue, accompanied by dropping toys over the side. Luckily, not throwing them, but probably only because he hasn't worked out how to yet.

Oh, I meant to say, I went to check the nursery out yesterday, and I'm fairly pleased with it. Staff seem lovely. So I'm very relieved it's sorted, and it was all quite easy (maybe too easy).

Oh dear. This thread has dropped off my 'threads I'm on' so just a quick post from me.

I had my wisdom tooth taken out yesterday, better than last time, but still not fun.

In laws - ATM they are safely on the other side of the world, however that will obviously change if/when we go to NZ so taking a note of all your IL taming tips.

Neenz - Please share any toddler taming tips that work - full on tantrums here too. Even the magic mirror (take him to look at himself in the mirror) trick not working because his eyes are screwed so tight. The gasping for enough air for a real bellow is almost scary.

Getting ready for labour - so exciting!

Sorry for the lack of personal responses.

Phew, a bit puffed out. Just sat down after having had three friends over for the day two of whom have babies. Lots of cooking and cleaning up.

Five and Libralady, one of the friends is planning to move from Bath to Bridport. Apart from her PILs who drive her a bit crazy they don't know anyone near there. I think it is the wrong end of Dorset for either of you, but wondered if you have any inside knowledge on Bridport to share? Her DH has already moved to start his new job and now they are waiting for their old house to sell. In the meantime she is single parenting (a one year old born the same day as P) in the week with the odd trip to the PILs where DH is living in the week. I think she is going to find it hard going.

Whinegums yes biscuit. Infact two Heinz gingerbread biscotti to be precise. I have tried it again tonight and will keep you posted.

Penguin ouch on the teeth.

I am enjoying all the hypothetical and not-so-hypothetical who would look after the DCs if I was in labour chat. We are in the camp of having no family within two hours of us. I think I would get my parents to bring their caravan to the local site for a couple of weeks, although if another baby was as late as P they might end up staying for more like a month . In all seriousness the lack of family within half an hour is certainly a concern for me, and I know what you mean AH, about it making you worry in the event of sickness.