June 2008: birthdays, bunting and bumps make mummy a little bit tired!

[pureeandpearls]

Bring it on!!!

Poppy - thanks for that link, will have a good read. He was washing up in an annoyed way, not annoying, he'd asked me to do it and I was still on here so was doing it himself with lots of banging about and noise to make his point.

Neenz - glad work is going well and hope the virus clears up quickly. Don't envy you the commute, that is something I certainly don't miss about working.

Same here with stories about kids etc, have started a few books and had to put them down as too upsetting. Also found Torchwood very upsetting.

Puree - very impressed with the driving, that's a long way and even more impressive that it was in france!

BDQ - good idea about looking on here for pushchair advice.
We're having the same problem with the car seat release button, he hasn't managed to undo it yet but sits there trying with his little thumbs.

Anyone else have a baby obsessed with putting things around their necks? If J can get hold of anything that could be put over his head it is, muslins are wrapped round his neck, bits of wool etc. He got hold of a bag with long handles and put them over his head then tried to crawl round dragging the bag with him. Am obviously careful with what he can get hold of but it's kind of worrying!

poppy of course? I forgot that a nanny isn?t self-employed but is employed by you. It must be very frustrating to think your nanny might be leaving. Hopefully she?s just taking the vitamins to prepare herself to start trying? (Is she married? Is she young?)

sponge I had the phil&ted double and we walked a ton. DS1 still likes it if I tell him stories and we go for picnics. But Fraser didn?t like being in the Phil&Ted until he was big enough for the small seat rather than the flat bit for infants so we couldn?t use it for the first three months. In hindsight I?d have bought the Phil and Ted double that has them side by side (or another double buggy with large wheels, not the Maclaren though, that?s impossible to push on cobbles or rough ground).

I?d find it hard to think about kids being abused and neglected too ? especially when you think of all the lovely families that aren?t able to have biological children. We have friends going through IVF at the moment with a very small chance of success (other health issues too) and it?s heartbreaking as they?d be brilliant parents. I?m hoping they?d consider adoption?

ktpie DS1 is still not letting me pick the last scab off and I know I shouldn?t really .

Oh, and with L, XL being small ? does the shop sell to an Asian market? They will have a different size range if they do! I had a horrible experience in a yoga shop one time until the sales assistant translated the sizes for me (L=12, XL=14), I was feeling like I?d magically gained a stone in my sleep.

FFS the third mega post I have written which has disappeared. I am not ignoring anyone but it's painful to have to write it all again!!!!

children - I am also mega emotional with all things children related. Yesterday I saw a little girl with her mummy, little face pushed up against the window of the tube, crying her eyes out. Her daddy was on the other side of the glass trying to reassure her and make funny faces. I think the parents had split up and she was being collected by her mum (who was stony faced throughout!). When the doors closed, the man started getting upset too and when he shouted i love you running along the platform I burst into tears and had to move carriages!

holiday - well done puree - verey impressed on your solo travel! I would never do it! Mark & I have booked our summer hols (in September). I We found it on baby ffriendly boltholes. Place in POrtugal called Vila Vita Parc. Got a great family deal with half price 2 bed apartment, 3 free evening meals, 8 hours free babysitting/creche, even free icecream! Anyone fancy coming?!

ktpie - pushchair looks great. I say as long sa it folds up easily, weighs next to nothing and has a reclinable back your sorted. My maclaren is great but they are much more expensive, especially if it's not your main pushchair.

work neenz - how is it going? I bet you loved it! It's so easy compared to child rearing isn't it?! and aberdeen. Definitely look into every option before chucking in your job. You should be 100% certain before making the decision.

things round necks - yup Luke does it too - don't know why. Hre likes to put thngs behing his neck and then drop them. Maybe they are testing the permanence of things by putting thm behind themselves? Who knows!

bdq - no advice I'm afraid. What a nightmare though. Maybe give him something else to fiddle with?

Sponge - was it your with the hair pulling? Luke does it now and it's horrid. I am going bald and I'm sure he does it to other kids at nursery as I saw him do it at the soft play thing and almost took some kid's ear off with it. Any advice? Tried no and that doesn't work. It's all I can do not to pull his back!

I was also thinking of Josey - I wonder how she's doing.

Hello to everyone I've missed!

PS practicing for my theory test and it's really hard! Keep getting questins on anti lock breaks and rote systems - ??????

Sponge a thread for you. Ring any bells?

Amber sounds like a fab deal on your holiday. I have been looking at that hotel, but probably a s/c villa is more our thing. I suggested to DH going somewhere with a creche and he looked really shocked and said that he wants to spend time with P when he doesn't have to be at work: , but a bit of adult only time wouldn't go amiss sometimes.

We'll still spend loads of time with Luke but like our last holiday he'll go into the creche in the afternoons for a few hours so Mark and I can get some time round the pool. He loved it and I feel 24/7 with me and Mark must be dull for a little one who is used to nursery. Still if your hubby wants to play with P that's fine - you can go off and get a massage!

Aberdeen - I think Decathalon is french but your comment about asian shops reminded me of when one of my friends was living in China, she is a very similar size to me (about a 14/16) and went clothes shopping one day, the assistants in the shop crowded round her shouting "Fat, fat!" and prodding her, and called people in from the street to look at the fat girl! Luckily it doesn't seem to have left any damaging emotional scars.

Amber - I'd love to come on holiday, are you paying? Very kind of you to offer.

On the pushchair topic I am now drawn by this one. Although it doesn't come with a rain cover.

ktpie and puree - v impressed at your driving skills. And Amber I have no idea what those things are!

Buggies - when my boys were small I had a 3-wheeler double buggy (In-Step, I think) and it was great. The only thing I would have changed is I'd have got one with a swiveling front wheel as it's much easier around town. If it locks then you have the option of more stability on bumpy ground. ktpie does the buggy you linked to recline? I reckon reclining is essential, although having said that Thea has developed a strong aversion to lying down in the buggy. Even if she's fast asleep she wakes up and is very upset if I try to help her lie down. She even pulls the back rest up to 90 degrees so she can sit bolt upright.

Amber, you're right, I really did enjoy being back at work! I think it reminded me of a time when I had no kids cos last time I was at work I had no kids, so that was kind of liberating! I didn't even ring to check on them yesterday (did send a text tho). I know Anna would ring if anything was wrong so I just assumed everything was ok. but it is nice to be at home today, work has made me appreciate being home with the kids and being home with the kids has made me appreciate work! I have never been one to enjoy going to work. But the DTs were ill yesterday and wouldn't have been able to go to the CM so I wonder how much fun it will be when I have to try to juggle work and ill kids? Don't think my colleagues will be very impressed if I don;'t come in cos of sick kids.

DH was at the Court of Appeal in London yesterday, first time he has spoken there as a HCA (barrister). He has had cases there as a solicitor before but you are not allowed to speak if you are a solicitor . Anyway, he was appealing against a sentence for a drug dealer and got it reduced by a year so he was well pleased. There were four other defendants so four other barristers but a barrister from another case said DH was great and the other barristers should have shut up and just said they agreed with him! He is still gaining confidence as a barrister so it was great. He was very grumpy when I got home tho cos he'd been up since 4.45am and got home at 6pm so did the kids' bathtime routine and they were really whingy - he doesn;'t cope with that verty well. Then E screamed for half an hour when we put her to bed and that winds him up too. They are both feeling a bit better this morning though and T ate his lunch so I think they are getting well again.

Skim read so I hope I haven't missed anything important!
In brief - between the OU stuff, Iestyn waking every 2 hours on Weds night, Graduation ceremony on Thurs etc etc, I was in tears and hysterical by last night, and my mum and dad had a shout at me. But them Mum phoned to say sorry cause it was their fault (it was totally stupid anyway!) and she came round to be my night nanny last night because I was clearly about to die! (I was in a bad way.) Iestyn cried at 9, 9.30, then 11 (I was in bed by then), and then slept through to 7.30 so I wasted that ticket! Anyhow, this morning we went exploring his mouth (here, diarrhoea = teeth imminent, and his nappy this morning was horrific, the term poonami applies) and indeed, he has a tooth! Funny, because 1/2 cm has broken through, rather than gradually in spikes IYKWIM. So no wonder he was sad!
Remind me never to go asking about teeth on here again - I totally jinxed that one!

Feeling better about everything after sleep - although Rolf thank you, your comments on the law course were particularly helpful. I will see how I go when I get this year's stuff, and might consider a superhuman effort. It's only 9 months, and my book should be in before I start.

So, less selfish... Puree, you may have beaten my driving record. Although to truly beat my record you need to stop in an Ikea (Wednesbury in my case), get home, and visit another Ikea (Croydon) on the same day... It was valentine's day and all...

Ktpie I have a lightweight pushchair - it's the Quinny Zapp. It's gorgeous and trendy, but impractical in many ways. But I struggled with it on a high bus - you know, the non-accessible ones - but then I imagine I'd struggle with any pushchair.

Sad stories - well, to add to my troubles yesterday, I went to a colleague's office for the first time (her name is Ann, retiring next year) and saw some cutsey baby pictures on the wall, and asked if they were her children. She said they were godchildren, but one was her son Hamish. I asked if she only had the one, but then she said quite casually 'oh I had three but they all died'. At which point I started sobbing, and she said she thought everyone knew (it's common knowledge and no secret - but I hadn't been part of any conversation when it came up). Through horrific bad luck her first son had Cystic Fybrosis, then she had twins, and they both had it. This was a long time ago, so things have changed a bit (although still no cure). The twins died at 3 and 6, and Hamish made it to 13. I cannot even begin to imagine what that woman has been through. She said they had very happy lives, and are not suffering now.
It's funny how everything changes when you have a baby of your own (big cliché there!) But suddenly I think of all these people carrying great sadnesses around. It really does put me to shame.

Amber I love the sound of your holiday especially the creche bit . When we were away last year we made sure the DTs always had their naps cos it meant we could just relax, otherwise you are just on the go all the time and never get to relax - unfortunately there's no creche when you're camping but never mind!

Rolf, so how did the conversation go between you and my FIL???!!

Essie, that is so sad about your colleague . My sister has a daughter with CF, it is her second daughter, luckily the first one doesn't have it. How very very sad. The outlook for CF is much better now (average life expectancy about 30yrs) but my DN still has spells in hospital etc and gets very ill sometimes with chest infections and struggles to breathe . My sister copes by just not thinking about it and ploughing on regardless. We are trying to raise £8k for a vest thingy that will massage her chest and help clear the gunk therefore reducing infections. Her school is doing lots of fundraising so hopefully we'll have it in a year.

Sorry about Iestyn's sleep too and your other troubles, what a crap week! Just typical for your mum to come when he sleeps though. Hopefully it is just his teeth - is that his first? It does seem to have come out rather rapidly, making up for lost time maybe?

ktpie - pushchair looks good... can you get a cheapo universal raincover? It is a bargain at £40!! Gor for it.

Right I promise I won't write any more posts

(for a while)

Neenz forgot to reply about your FiL - I was with DD1 and Thea in Duke St park and the only other people there were (as it turned out) your father in law and your gorgeous nephew. We got chatting, the way one does in parks with children, and he said something about his other grandchildren, Theo and Esther. I'm afraid I did say that I knew you from the internet but I prefaced it with "oh, [yourname's] children?" and also said something about us having tried for the past year to get together, so hopefully that makes it look a bit less Daughter In Law In Creepy Secret Life Shocker. He was really nice

God Neenz - 8 grand for something that will help your neice no end. Where do I donate?

lol Rolf! He wouldn't understand what knowing someone from the internet means anyway . Is the playground open again now then? FIL lives just across the road from the park. He is really lovely but still sometimes annoying in a PIL kind of way iyswim!!

Oh Amber, thanks! I think her school are going to set up a fund so we can claim gift aid on donations. I will let you know.

Can you tell I am home again today? I think this is about my seventh post today but it is raining so I can't be bothered to go out .

All they need to do is set up an account on justgiving, they do all the gift aid stuff.

It wasn't properly open, we just messed around and she went on the pirate ship. The jumping thing wasn't set up - no bungy ropes - and the paved are was still fenced off. Apparently they were starting work that day intending it to all be ready for the school holidays . They obviously have borrowed my planning Numskull

Don't you need to be a registered charity to be on justgiving?

Amber think that having a balance of kiddie and non-kiddie time on holiday sounds very sensible. Infact James said that he would take Peter out when we are on holiday so I could get that elusive massage. The stupid thing is that I would miss them both.

God, Ali, your family sounds so functional! This is how our holiday would go:

48 hours before departure:
DH - definitely can't go on holiday, have too much work to do

24 hours before departure:
DH - we can go but we'll have to miss the 1st day

4 hours before departure:
DH - we can go but I need to bring papers with me and do loads of conference calls and when I do you'll have to take the children out
Whadderyermean you haven't packed yet? Get with the programme...

On holiday:
All get along great, DH goes off for long walks on his own and declares he's having a great holiday, until day 4 (always day 4) I decide DH is taking the piss and that I'm not a Holiday Enabler but someone who would also like a holiday. We have a screaming row and vow never to go on holiday again.
Get along great until it's time to go, when I race around packing up and cleaning the holiday cottage whilst DH pretends it has nothing to do with him.

Our most magical holiday moment was when we went to visit something or other en route home and one of the boys (how, how?) got lots and lots of poo in his hair, when we still had hours of driving to go.

This year, I have booked a cottage attached to a yoga place that also offers massages, and my secret plan is to book things that I can do 1st thing and then I'll be more gracious when DH wants to head off on his own or with the boys, leaving me with DD1 (always the short straw) and Thea. DH doesn't know any of this .

lol Rolf, those lawyers

LOL Rolf.

We aren't that functional, and the novelty of having DC hasn't worn off yet. I am sure that once we have 4 DCs we wont even go on holiday.

BTW your cottage sounds lovely. Link please (if you don't mind).

The disfunctional element of our holiday is something like this:

1 week before departure: DH starts to talk about all the work he has to do before we go away.

2 days before departure: DH stays at work till late trying to get everything done.

Morning of departure: DH logs on to his work email "just to switch his 'out of office' on" and then does not re-emerge from the computer room for an hour meanwhile I run round packing everything.

Day 2 of holiday: DH announces mournfully that he is ill (Deb can vouch for this). In Austria he told me "It's not a cold, it is very mild flu you know".

Day 3: DH stages miraculous recovery.

Rest of holiday: v. pleasant

First day back from holiday: DH miserable because everyone at work as stolen his projects / not done things as he would have done them / made decisions in his absence.

Remainder of week: DH works like a dog.

DH swears that he is never going on holiday ever again

Interestingly the work stress for going away and coming back seems to be the same whether he has 3 weeks; 1 week, or a long weekend off. I don't know what the solution is

BDQ, yes, josey was in Menorca last week - not sure whether she's home yet or not. Well deserved holiday for her and the gang by the sounds of it .

ktpie, I also found Torchwood v distressing to watch - think if I'd known how harrowing it was going to be I'd have given it a miss .

AH, thanks for the tips on double buggies - think we're back to thinking of a side-by-side 3 wheeler now, but then we change our mind on a daily basis!

Amber, yes A was the hair puller and sadly still is. We just keep pulling him away when he's doing it to other kids, and giving the other child loads of attention while ignoring him. And if he does it to me, I put him on the floor and face him away from me. It is slowly getting through but he does have an obsession with hair .

Ali, I posted on that thread! I always get very excited when I see stories like that - it feels like belonging to a special club, although I seem to be seeing alot of stories like this about at the moment so maybe we're not so special after all!

poppy, thank you for that link - it was very useful. Tbh, I'm less worried at the moment about catching SF myself than I am about turning up to an empty hospital in October and having to adminster my own epidural!

Neenz, is having a drug dealer's sentence reduced considered a 'good thing'?!

So sorry to hear about your DN - how tough for your sister. I used to work with a woman who's husband had CF - when I met them (10 yrs ago) he was 29, but lived with an oxygen tank constantly. However, that year he was the first person in the country to have a double heart and lung transplant which completely transformed his life - incredible. And guess what he did as soon as he was given the all clear from the docs? Went out and bought himself a motorbike!

KWYM about work - I don't enjoy my job but I like the routine of going to work, having a break and being 'me' again. And I enjoy my mummy days even more .

Essie, sorry to hear you've had such a rough week - and that story about your colleague is just utterly heart breaking . I honestly don't think I could carry on if that were me, but then the human instinct to survive is truly humbling. Some people just seem to have such tragic bad luck in life, and it's often people who least deserve it too .

Rolf, you have the patience of a saint!

Ali, PMSL at "it's not a cold, it's mild 'flu you know"!!!