December 2007 "The one where babies walk the walk... and talk the talk"

[Arcadie]

I'm sorry - I couldn't last out. Welcome to the new thread.

Hi BT, have you thought about putting him in a bed of his own? Could be the boundaries of the cot he is unhappy with rather than actually wanting to be in your bed? My DSs were both in beds by this age although DD is still in a cot. The moment she attempts to climb out she will be straight in a bed though!

BT - I agree with beckle, try the bed. When DD1 was about 21 months I bought her a raised bed on a platform with a small ladder up to it and a fence around it. She thought it was the coolest thing ever and was desperate to go to bed! The fact that I'd bought it primarily to make the best use of space (underneath became a little playhouse/zone) was irrelevant. It also had the completely unintentional side benefit that she never tried to climb out - I can only presume because it was a bit daunting to climb down a ladder in the dark). I'm not suggesting you buy the same but if you could provide a bed with some "wow" factor you might have a winning formula!

nb this is her bed but we got it without the slide.

Oh and thanks beckle! Next week I'm going to be given a behind the scenes tour of the zoo so that I can better understand the strategic issues!! Couldn't come at a better time as I'm completely fed up with both DD and me being sick with this cough/cold.

Hi all!
Quite a few people have suggested "try a bed". So we are thinking of sticking him in DSS's bed tonight, the only thing it is in a different room, and it would be a major pain in the bum to move it into DS's room - plus we would need to move it back again before Friday, as that is when DSS will be back up!
My other reservation is that I am not sure if he can climb on and off it as he only just manages it with our sofa, and I think the bed is a little higher - plus, bearing in mind that DSS is 8 - his room is not very toddler friendly!!
But I am thinking that a bed is the way to go...

Hi BT - was wondering where you were. We are going through VERY similar battles with dd2, changing her nappy causes meltdown, getting her dressed can take forever as she refuses and she is now also screaming blue murder when we put her in her cot. A few nights ago she just didn't seem tired so we allowed her to stay up but when we got to ten o'clock and she was still awake we thought this was ridiculous and put her to bed and let her cry until she fell asleep. The following night she obviously WAS tired so I didn't get her out but she did cry and we left her, going in occasionally, until she fell asleep. Tonight it has taken a while - I left her but in the end went in and shushed her, sang to her and stroked her until finally she gave up....

So I actually think this is a stage they go through at this age, as they are intelligent enough to realise there is exciting things going on in other parts of the house that they are not part of and that perhaps by crying angrily enough mummy or daddy will come into the room. It's really up to you what you do but sometimes I think leavign them to cry is the only way to go. Personally for me, I would rather do that than have her in bed with me. But that is a lot to do withg the fact that dd1 has been coming into our room a lot in the middle of the night as well and I just couldn't cope with both of them! Also as I am with them all day every day, I really need the break at night. Good luck whatever you chose to do and I will watch with interest how it goes if you do go down the bed route (wouldn't work for us, dd2 would be up and out and rampaging round the house straight away; no, she's in a cot until she's at least 18!).

Buzzy - the zoo job sounds really interesting, how nice to have something like that to do, so different from everything else. I hope when we are settled somewhere and I have childcare sorted out I will find something interesting to do for "me"!

Claraq - yes we have similar battles at nappy changing time!

Well Ian tidied up DSS's tip room and we made it safe for DS, and put the bed rail on DSS's bed, and put DS in it.

I think it was a success! He took a while to go to sleep, I fed him then Daddy lay down with him, then got off the bed, sang to him and read him a story and went straight off. We checked on him through the evening and he was fine, sound asleep, sprawled in the bed. He did wake up at 3am, I went in and lay down next to him and fed him, and he went straight back to sleep. He woke up at 4am, and DH went in and settled him again, then he woke at 4.45 and I again went in laid down with him, and nursed him for a bit and seem to go to sleep but then wanted to nurse more, so I told him firmly, "no more milkies, Mummy wants to sleep" and eventually drifted off, but so did I because I woke up half an hour later, he was sound asleep so I returned to my bed and he slept until 7am!! I do think the morning wakings were more more to do with being an unfamiliar place, so we'll see how we get on tonight!
So it looks like we'll be getting a bed for DS by the weekend! Am off to Asda Living to take a look a bedroom furniture, we'll be looking at get DSS some new bedroom furniture as he desperately needs more storage and the furniture he has needs to go in DS's room - I need more storage for DS too and there is already matching furniture in his room.

Sorry this has turned in to a me me me post
Must be my longest post for a while from me, since my work takes up pretty much all of my non-ds time!!
I do often try to read even if I don't have time to post...

can i just rub on the fact I am on holdiay for 9 yes you read that right 9 weeks - HORRAH!!!!! do you all hate me ? I do have to go in for a few days - maybe a bit over a week but at least I can go in late and there are no children....

anyway hope you are all well. I am off to take Evie to visit her new nursery when I can persuade dd2 to get dressed

buzzy - can I come to NZ? I love NZ - I have a friend who lives on South Island. It is one of the few places I would choose to move to - after babies of course as I think you don't have such good maternity rights.

I also wouldn't choose to potty train now...I have done the girls just after they turned 2 - they got in a week with hardly any accidents

Sounds like a plan BT. You also sound like you're a much more generous mum with your nights than I am. Like clara I really need my sleep and I must admit to a certain streak of ruthlessness when it comes to DD's sleep.

Hi cazzy, nice to see you back. Hope you're feeling ok.
The South Island IS pretty special if you like the great outdoors. Do you think you might ever make it down here? I know its seems such a long way but in my 20s I regularly took a holiday in Europe for 3 weeks each year and it was fine. Of course that was avant les enfants! I don't think it'll ever be any cheaper than it is now either.

This stinking cold has got worse if that's possible! Am now wondering if its actually swine flu although I haven't really had the classic flu aches and pains. Anyway am taking DD2 to GP again tomorrow to further investigate asthma possibility so will ask him to listen to my chest while I'm there.

Oh no buzzy, hope you're ok.

Can I come to NZ too? Downside to marrying someone from a different continent is that the only holidays we are likely to take for the forseeable are to stay with family out there... Although we are going to majorca for a week in october courtesy of my parents (was their 30th anniv last year so they booked a villa for us all-we just have to pay £50 each for flights and take spending money )

BT dd went into a bed at around this age, we got her a toddler bed because she just seemed too little for a normal bed and also in our old house we wouldn't have been able to fit a single and a cot in her bedroom. DS will have that bed soon and dd will have a single. DD was fine in it from day one but like Clara I think ds would just rampage around all night if he was in one just yet!

He has been a bit harder to settle the past couple of weeks but I think it is just the heat and lighter nights. Still having to deal with 5am wakings though and am not quite sure how to get past that!

Hearing BT talk about getting up in the night for feeds, how many of us are still doing that? DD goes down normally at 7.30 then wakes at 11.30 and 3.00 for a bottle. She's waking up around 7.30.

Cazzy don't hate you just deeply envious

BT Glad the bed seems to be working! Don't worry about the me post - it's always more interesting to read about other people.

hi everyone,

just back from a week up north for PhD graduation - am now officially Dr. Skidaddle

sympathies on sleeping problems. DD woke every night until she was about 2.4 - not to have milk or anything - think she just got into the habit. We used to let her come into our bed which we didn't mind but once DS was born that stopped and DH used to sometimes get into HER bed if she wouldn't settle. Anyway one day when she was about 2.4 she just suddenly stopped waking and has been a fantastic sleeper ever since.

DS also woke a lot but from 14 months has been brilliant so I am a bit of believer in the idea that they sleep through when they are ready and there's not a lot you can do to change it (except for CC). However, it is easy to have this laissez-faire attitude once they are sleeping well and obviously not so easy when you are desperate and sleep-deprived!

Am also at all this talk of potty training - DS is so so so not ready. Mind you he has definitely not had a vocabulary explosion and can't say wee or poo so I think that is part of it. I am thinking it will be at least another 6 months, probably more like a year before we start..

BT - glad to hear the bed seems to have worked

cazzy - yes I do hate you!

DrSkid (congrats again btw ) - yes I too am lazy laid back, and tbh because he regularly wakes in the night, I get more sleep atm if he is in my bed, but hopefully with him moving into a bed of his own he will be happier and more inclined to sleep through.

He wakes up for a feed 1-2 times a night, I guess some babies need it some don't. I don't think there is one cut off age that fits all children - well may be 13yo

Oooh BIG thunder and lightening here!!

Bloody hell, 2 posts from me on one day!!

Yep dd was the same, woke at night til she was 2. I tried to stop giving her milk several times before then but it meant we all got a lot less sleep than if I just staggered downstairs to the fridge and then handed her the cup . When she was 2 I just said no more milk til morning and she understood and only woke a couple of times after that. Now she usually only wakes if she needs a wee/wets the bed or if she is ill. Hopefully when ds is 2 the same will work to get him to stay in his cot past 5am

Skid ds will say "need a wee" or "need a poo" and makes us sit him on the loo then jumps off a second later saying "finished"-he never does anything though!

I am feeling much better thanks...although still bleeding (am waiting till Thurs and then may go to docs about it as don't want it to go on and on and find out it has affected my fertility.) and get tired easily so probably still anemic.

tis thundering and lightening here too

Cazzy glad you are doing OK. Definitely go see the GP though, never good to leave these things. I bled loads for weeks after DD, thought it was normal, finally mentioned to MW and she rushed through a prescription that afternoon by ringing the hospital registrar.

Not sure whether maternity rights are worse here? I had DD1 in London and wasn't entitled to anything other than what my employer provided (which fortunately was quite good). But maybe that was because I wasn't a UK resident, not sure. Whereas here there's a 14 week statutory maternity pay from the Govt - but you're only eligible if you were working at the time you go on maternity leave. All medical costs etc free in both countries. NZ employers must hold your job open for 1 year - same in UK??

Gosh it's quiet on here lately.

DS counted to 6 yesterday!!!! He did say four twice but said all the other numbers and in the right order I even forgave him for bashing his cup on the tv as he did it because I was so proud of him. It's funny how he is doing things like that so much later than dd did but it is still really exciting when he does.

Oh and he is now walking down the stairs not even holding on. Not quite so happy about that one

OMG clairey!!! So much later than your DD as well??! Haven't I always said your children are geniuses? Seriously though, that is amazing. All the 18 month olds I know (including DS) can just about muster a mama and maybe ball and teddy. Counting to 6 is amazing - no wonder you are proud!

buzzy - from what you say it sounds like mat rights are better here - everyone (who wasn;t pg when they started their job)has a right to 6 months SMP (£100 quid a week) and most(?) people get much better than that. People who don;t qualitfy for SMP get OMP but not sure how mcuh that is. If you work in the public sector you often get really good pay e.g. I get 6 months full pay

cazzy - have you been to the doc yet? Hope you're ok

Yeah dd was counting to ten well before she was one. She still can't count any higher than that though

Am having to answer loads of sciencey questions from her at the moment-about babies in tummies, how the sensors on streetlights work and why her shadow is longer sometimes than at others. If that is what she is coming out with aged 3 then I need a refresher course!

How are you doing Cazzy?

Congratulations DrSkid (curtseys) should we be calling you Dr all the time now?

DD's counting goes "2,3,4,5,9,TEN". (Always with a flourish on ten). She never says one but I wonder whether that's because she thinks someone else always starts the counting off

Clairey I think I will have to try your idea when DD is a little older.

now don't tell me it's only my DS who can't count? Surely surely it is not the norm for BABIES to count?!!!

skid ... we clearly have thick babies evie can say two and It thought that was good.

think I have finally stopped bleeding horrah - although now have an itchy ear.

I'm with you cazzy, I thought DD saying 2 as in "[one] shoe TWO" was good! She is saying loads more words now but I really struggle to understand most of them. Oh well I'm just happy to have my cheerful little girl back after she was so grumpy and full of cold last week.

Have been doing a major wash of all her bedding, soft toys etc to try and reduce fungal spore levels as much as poss as GP thought maybe her cough was a sign of allergy rather than asthma. She's also on LoraPaed (anti-histimine) so we'll see if that makes any diff. I really don't like winter!!!

Dr Skid, yes 6 months SMP does sound better although we do get more per week than 100 quid (probably twice as much) but only 14 weeks worth. My employer topped me up so that I got 14 weeks on full pay which was pretty good and I think is fairly common as a benefit here. Each employer makes their own decisions though.