Anyone had a second child and feeling guilty????

[heron22]

Hi

I just had my second child 8 days ago and i find myself feeling sad that the days of just me and DS1 are gone forever. or am i over-reacting?

I do make sure i have 1:1 time with DS1. but i still feel guilty.

anyone else feel like this?

Hi there, sorry your feeling a little sad. I had DD2 about 3 months ago. I was really worried about would DD1 be ok and would i love DD2 just as much. We make sure DD1 has plenty of one on one time and do things we always did before but also get out and about with both kids. It is difficult with a newborn but if DD1 asks for a cuddle or to do something special i make a point of making it happen - if not there and then, then soon. The guilt will go and when DC2 starts smiling at DS1 you will be so happy.

remember you may also have a little of the baby blues so don't worry.

its normal, i confided in my mum who said that i shouldnt feel guilty about giving dd 'someone to play with' now ds can sit and bum shuffle they are starting to play and by the time he is one im sure they will be thick as theives as dd is planning lots of games for when he can walk!

how long does this baby blues last for?

it is now day 9, i was a little weepy on day 6 i think. and was fine. today, i am a little sad and guilty.

I felt extremely guilty, especially as all ds did was scream so all I did for the first 6 months of his life was feed him and pace up and down with him in the sling. Even when I did do stuff with dd I felt like I was rushing it because ds was screaming in the background . However, now he is one, walking, and mostly a much happier soul he and dd play together and are always laughing together and it makes me feel like it was worth it. The only damage it seems to have done is an addiction to cbeebies on dd's part

totally normal, it will settle down and you will find your rhythm as a family of four. It is very early days remember - you are all still getting used to it. TBH we didnt really feel like we'd got into our stride with it all until ds2 was coming up for one. Now we are a happy family of four and have two happy little boys. I spent the first year feeling almost permanently guilty and now it is only, oooh, once every other day maybe?! This is parnethood I think!

hope you feel better soon - remember to get out for plenty of wlaks if you can, i always found it helped.

Yeap I felt that way too
And felt it again when dc3 came along
Perfectly natural

I remember just after I had my DD2 I wailed at my dad that 'I can't split myself in two you know' as I was trying to play with DD1 and DD2 decided she needed feeding. I think that it's perfectly normal to feel that way.
It took a bout of mastitis (can't spell it!) at about three weeks to make me enjoy my DD1 for the tiny, beautiful, little girl that she was. I was in danger of missing that 'tiny baby' stage as I was obsessed with making sure everything was almost as normal with DD1.
I think you just need to let things flow for a while. You will have your great relationship with DS1 as before. It's just a shifting of amounts of time.
Now I've had my DD2 - she's now 10 months - I can realy see how great she is for DD1. How they have great potential to play together in the future.
Congratulations on your new baby!

i know that what you are all saying is right, but, it is hard to imagine! it is early days, as you said.

i remember feeling like this when DS1 was born, thinking that my 1:1 time with DH is forever gone. but now, i cannot imagine life without DS1!