we didn't quite get the birth we wanted.....
Monday 15th arrived in ante natal clinic for 39 wk check up. Just about to get bp taken when mw says if it's high, you'll be admitted. Gee thanks for keeping me calm. BP is then 170 over 113.....
Sent to labour ward and monitored all afternoon. BP drops to 150 over 85 - perfectly normal for me. they want to admit me anyway to induce me tomorrow. i get very upset and insist I want to go home and come back tomorrow to see day clinic. Mw gives me a sweep to see if i'm near to starting - nothing doing. I sit there until 6pm (we've eaten nothing all day by this time). I sign self-discharge forms, feel a slight pop and stand up to leave, agreing to return tomorrow. As i stand up, my waters break!
I have strep B so we are given one hour to go home, get back and return. Stop off at Asda to grab sandwiches and magazines.
return to hospital and settle in for the night - realise i've forgotten Tens machine!
Given pessary at 9pm and have shower. DP leaves for the night. I get another pessary at 3am. in the meantime, i am being given IV antibiotics for Strep B. Line blocks once and i end up on the ceiling.
Waters still flowing but no contractions. DP comes back at 8am and we go for a walk aroung the hospital to get things going. Spend all day in assessment, waiting for labour room as they want to get me on the drip.
Tuesday 16th at 7pm get into labour room. Is great - large, private, has a bath etc etc. only downside is the screaming and wailing from other rooms - I beg DP to help me not make noises like that!
They put me on Syncotin (can't spell) drip and insist on constant monitoring. this is a serious pain in the arse as it means I am flat on back, stuck on bed unable to move. Contractions start - feel like mild period pain.
Contractions build up. Am very disappointed that can't use tens or move around the room to help me cope. DP is great, he strokes hair and wipes my face and brings me drinks. Eventually, contractions last about 45s and seem to arrive and then fade but then have a final painful 'blip' at the end. tell DP I can't talk to him (he starts to talk as soon as a contraction starts, bless).
Ask for gas and air about 9pm and am told it's too soon. Say I need it as I can't move about to cope. given G&A - FAB. Makes me feel drunk and takes focus off pain, although I can still feel it.
Examined again - only 2cm. Bah.
Decide that as pethidine is out (hate feeling sick), if i can't move about to cope with pain, then I need an epidural. Anethitist (once again, can't spell) is around and pops in to see me. decides to give it a go (I have high BMI) and asks DP to hold me still. It takes a good 20mins to get it in and there is some pain. but then, starts to work, i can still move legs and feel contractions but no pain. need loo - have to use bedpan, assisted by DP and mw.
They turn drip up to 60cm and Charlotte's heartrate goes off scale. they consult and decide if she cannot cope with contractions, i have to have a c-section. this is the only time I have regrets about as i ask what my options are and they say i could continue but it's likely she won't cope with full labour. i have since discovered that she might have, if labour had been alowed to progress more slowly and naturally. I caved in and reluctantly agreed to c-section. I did tell everyone in room just HOW PISSED OFF I WAS about it!
DP go into scrubs, i was wheeled into theatre and Charlotte was born at 3.11am weighing 7lb 15oz. She came out, cried and they showed her to me. i said she is a boy as i was convinced she was!
The rest of the op is a blur, but they stiched me up and sent me back to labour room where DP and Charlotte were waiting. MW managed to get 1.7oz of colostrum out of my breast and then they let us all sleep for 2 hours - bliss!
Charlotte then had to go to neo natal as she needed 48 hrs of antibiotics to make sure she hadn;t got strp B. Upside was i was placed into transitional care so I had a mw and she had her own neo natal nurse.
I was in the shower by 3pm and catheter was out. Charlotte came back and I spent the next few hours crying. We spent the next 5 days in hospital - she got the all clear from strep b and we came home on Sunday 21st (I had to self-discharge as my bp was still a bit high but I just had to go home). it's now fine.
Thursday night was the worst - I had 90mins of sleep and she would not go to the breast and screamed and screamed. feeling awful, she is now formula fed with one feed per day of EBM. But she is happy and putting on weight, so i'm trying not to beat myself up.
DP is the best - i am so in love with him and he is a fab dad. i am gradually bonding with her and she is a very good sleeper due to ff. I look to the future with a bit of fear but mainly with great optimism. we spent today (Sunday 28th) curled up in bed with our arms around each other while she slept until 11am.