July 2008 - Living in the Twilight Zone of never quite enough sleep to be compus mentus

[libralady]

Just thought I'd better set up another thread as the old one is just about to run out.

welcome back boobyruby!

hi there guys been very busy here to busy to even pop in
i hope everyone is ok and babies well
i know this has prolly been said but i havnt read it yet
samuel goes to bed approx 7-8pm i feed him about 11pm and hes up by 4am wide eyes wanting to do anything but sleep any suggestions very welcome please
also we have solved a major feeding problem here as you know he couldnt latch on to me
we tried bottles with me expressing i still am and i have to top up ff
3 feeding speciaist from a hospital miles away came to my house friday after me having a massive row with HV saying i was gonna sue these guys for negligance
turns out samuel has a cleft palate he cant suck to make a vacuum he is 3 mths old wednesday, and theyve just told me this my son has had to be tube fed for a few weeks as they throught it was better for him
ive now taken him of ng tube and got special bottle soft ones i can squash to put the mils in his mouth and orthadontic teats and hey presto he now feeds(takes an hour for 3oz)
has to be fed sitting up and im not alowed to wean him as hes very sick via the nose
but if i listened to all they tell me hed be comatose
they said he wouldnt lift his head and he does a tiny bit
but guys the biggest thing of all
i had a tiny tiny corner lifting half SMILE

he now copies me poking tongues out he is understanding or mimicking
maybe slow and maybe he wont sot or walk cos of his spine but something is there in my baby that im gonna bring out
isnt this wonderfull news though!!!!

I'm sure I've read somewhere that babies do have the capacity to mimic faces that you pull, I know A sticks his tongue out at us if we do it to him so DS Sam is probably mimicing you, but that's a good thing, that's what babies this age are suppose to do! Also I am that Samscleft palate hasn't been picked up before but brilliant news that you can now feed him and his tube is out.

disneystar - that's fantastic news about your long awaited smile!
Pleased to hear you may have sorted his feeding too. Will he get the cleft palate fixed?

sweetkitty "DD2 is just crazy" - think my DS2 is her mirror image then. And DS1 sounds like your DD1 - whinge whinge whinge.

Oh, forgot to say to y'all - DS2's kindergarten teacher is a Mrs Smith. He calls her Mrs Sniff. Bless'im!

Disney Wow, you must be a very proud mummy! I bet your heart just melted when he smiled at you! and at he cleft pallet, how inefficient (to put it mildly!) BTW How's your pregnant daughter? getting big now I suppose!

I feel so terrible with DS1 at the minute, he's being so clingy and he cried when I left him at nursery today, I know it's not nursery coz he also cried when I left him with Granny and Grandad on Friday.. Think it's coz he knows I'm going home to Sam, but it makes me feel terrible.

Hello all,

Tjuice- I too will get a Bumbo when Abigail gets bit older. Used to use them in a nursey I worked in and they were fab.

M2L- Agree with Libra... Personally we put Abigail to bed later so we benefit from the sleep and will gradually move it forward the longer she sleeps but agree it depends what will work best for you.

With regards to sleep- Abigail slept through (11-7) for 3 nights in a row! This coinsided with putting her in her new sleeping bag so coincidence or not long may it continue!

isaidno- Glad DS1 enjoyed the museum.. apart from the mummy!- Bless him.

Donut-Glad youve got your things back now!
Loving Mrs Sniff!

Welcome back Ruby Booby

POLEDRA- Hope things were ok this weekend... Cant believe some people!

Disney- Yah for Sam's smiles!!! and better feeding but boo!! for the cleft palate.. I cant believe it took this long to pick up on it.

Went to our parents yesterday in Kent as all my Aunties and Uncles came down to visit both babies. They are scattered all over the country/ world and all came together for a mass meet up! My uncle even came over from Saudi Arabia.
Was great to see them all again and I havent seen them since my wedding about 14mths ago. Abigail recieved even more gifts! Loads more clothes and the most beautiful handknitted shawl!

We also popped in to see DH's parents which was eventfull!
MIL has this thing in her head that Abigail is full of colic and in pain.- Shes not. She does get the odd bit of trapped wind but not colic.
Anyway she says it constantly everytime we see them and its been driving us crazy! Everytime Abigail crys its because of colic and the "pain" shes in. Usually its just a tired or hungry cry. She tells everyone this which makes me wonder if they think im doing something wrong ect.
I know shes just trying to help but it can be very annoying! Anyway she said it again and DH flipped at her telling her to stop saying that and thats she not in pain. All ended in tears which was abit akward but hopefully things will be better now and the air cleared abit. Things seemed ok when we left

Im knackered after such a manic busy day yesterday so chilling out today doing as little as possible.

Afternoon all beautiful day here again today DD1 and 2 are collecting leaves in the garden (pulling them off the trees)

pigley - family reunion sounded fab, my Mum sounds like your MIL always going on about colic and wind in babies tummies. Sometimes babies cry because of other things now just colic. Other thing that used to wind me up (well there were loads actually) was the constant "when is she DUE her next feed? is her next feed DUE?" Well WE WERE told every 4 hours. WE WERE told used to get used a lot. Oh and the insinuations you are strarving you baby as she's not on solids (when are you going to give her PROPER food?) apparently I was on tatties and mince at 6 weeks old (and I was a 34 week premmie) - oh the older generation I bet they at their MIL's advice too.

Jodie - aww don't feel too bad it will take a while for DS1 to get used to the change in the family

disney - what fantastic news although am so that it's take them this long to realise Sam has a cleft palate - will that be another op for him? Loving him smiling too

weeble - I know I really wnat to do something but think I will wait until maybe Spring next year, I fancy doing an OU course but nothing really grabbed me so far.

Boobyruby - welcome back congrats on the birth of Louis too

I am a smug Mummy too DD2 has had one accident in the past 3 days after dreading and putting off potty training for so long she is a complete star although in typical DD2 style she doesn't tell me she needs all the time she just goes off and does it and tries to empty it too (you don't need to guess what I was cleaning up the other day). Right off to visit the "farm" in the garden.

Hi all

WOnderful quiet day today, dh racing his car and ds1 at nursery so just me and Louis today. So nice!

HOOORAY to BoobyRuby- welcome back and congratulations on Louis' arrival (beautiful name might I add )

Pigley my mil can be a bit like this- as lovely as she is in other ways. Totally obsessed with wind! Hang in there, she might turn into your greatest ally and supporter (mine has)

Libra1975 no you're not speaking out of turn at all! I wasn't sure whether I was being a bit petty in feeling daunted by the idea of looking after the boys 24/7 without dh to help (even though he's around, just too busy with his own stuff) cos I thought "well I'd like to have all that time to myself, so it's unfair to not let him. (Kaz1967, know you're doing this parenting lark alone- how are you doing? Think you must be made of stern stuff.) But do feel a bit resentful, he's going to be away for bed time tonight again and then the rest of this week we're doing loads to prepare for the boys non-christening party on Saturday as house needs a good sort out so he will use that excuse during the days no doubt. I just feel like I look after everyone else at the moment and no-one is thinking even a teeny bit of looking after me.

Separately, if Alex was really hungry he wouldn't have gone back to sleep- just carried on shouting "mum I'm hungry!" at you so those burps n farts do sound like they were what woke him. Well done for sticking to your instincts.

Disney- your post about Sams smile made me feel all gooey and teary- their little faces are so precious when they start expressing themselves, it must be a real joy to finally see some of his little smiles.

Louis slept from 8-4 last night, then fed (thank god- my boobs were so big and heavy I think that I would have needed scaffolding instead of a bra had it been daytime) and went back to sleep until 7 so I am quite proud of him today! I moved bedtime from 7 cos he wasn't settling well and it seems to have suited him. He still can't go more than about 80 mins awake in the day before needing a nap though.

Sweetkitty- well done dd2 on the potty training! You've every right to feel proud

Right, off to do more prep for the party! (giving spare room a good once over for guests to stay in, luck luck lucky me)

HI All,

Just back form Mummy/baby group and today was yoga. Calvin slept most of yesterday and I got out in the garden but then he awoke at 3.30am and decided to chat for the next few hours! Argg! So tired today. Poor DD has a rotten cold AGAIN - she woke up last night screaming and absolutley soaking with sweat.

SK - quite hard studying and meeting deadlines with 3 toddlers! Why dont you do something fun?

DISNEY - at Samuels wee soul will be much happier being fed normally.

Right must be off - need to waken DD jso she sleeps tonight and have left Calvin in his pram ouot the back to get some fresh air. beautiful day here - just a nice temperature.

Tap class tonight

Disney, wonderful news about Sam's smile. No-one knows him like you, you're his greatest help in achieving his potential

Thanks to everyone for your kind words, we had no trouble this weekend - DH has said from the beginning that the guy was just having a bad day and he (DH) was unlucky enough to get in his way. Which is all very well and very forgiving of DH, but I'm just thankful that the bloke didn't have a knife or something. My DH isn't small, and the guy was bigger than him but, being so pissed, didn't manage to leave a bruise even though he connected with DH's face. I told DH I was very proud of how he had kept his temper and not hit back, just got out of the situation - to which DH said 'Did you not see how big he was, Poledra? I'm not that stupid!'

Orlaith kicking off again, I never get enough time to do a 'proper' post these days. Bye.

when is the last time we heard from twinkle id love to hear how they all are

I just left a message on the multiples board to try and find twinkle, but I'm guessing with 3 mth old twins she is quite busy...

A woke up every 90 minutes last night. *cry.
Started him on colief which seems to have made him worse!!
I am so tempted to give him a bottle of formula at the 10:30pm feed, I know it's a slippery slope and all that but I just need to go to bed and get a solid 5 hours in.

*goes away to try and master the art of looking awake but really being asleep inside.

Hello everyone! I have been soooo busy lately, like the rest of you no doubt! I joined the gym - so all spare minutes have been there! I even went at 6.15 this morning!!
Finally have a minute to sit down so will read through posts now. Just noticed someone had mentioned bumbos - I had one last time - they're great!

hi all not bad a night last night one wakening at 4ish that was from 10pm and I ahd to wake her at 8 this morning I reckon if I had left her she would have slept longer so now I have to start bringing her bedtime forward and getting her up earlier so hopefully she will do 8-8 with a feed inbetween that would be ideal.

She's been very busy downstairs last night I had to change her but failed in my sleepy state to realise it had gone through to her sleepsuit (bad mum) then this morning she was on the changing mat and DD2 asked me soemthing I turned round and you guessed it? It amazes me the force at which it comes out at and the range she got (my trousers). So second change of the day before 9am aslo got sicked on too. Oh and I had a leaky boob at toddlers so had to put my cardi back on and roast. Between all that and cleaning up the potty after DD2 my life revolves around bodily functions.

Am trying to feed B every 2 1/2 - 3 hours during the day maybe more so that she is well stocked up for night time too.

libra1975 - I asked the same question re a bottle of formula to aid sleep about a week ago and the answer that came back was it made to difference whatsoever, I wanted to know who had done it and what effect it had. If it's colic then the bottle could actually make him worse. I don't know what to suggest really sorry maybe some mums of the colicky babies would recommend something.

CliC - gym 6.15am are you insane? 6.15am is for sleeping only well done you though

poledra - glad things were calmer this weekend

weeble - yes I think youa re right (are you becoming my life coach?) studying and 3 toddlers what am I thinking? Always said I would do something once DD2 is at school then I would only have B during the day but I no know even one toddler is hard work. I agree with wanting a bit of me back too.

Hello ALL!!
Still struggling with feeding, although the little pig has put on another 9oz in 5 days!! Had to resort to topping up with formula as she would feed for ages and be very 'fussy' and scream, and lost weight so clearly wasn't getting enough even though I was expressing and feeding every 2-3 hours. Would take me nearly an hour to express about 40ml! So had to give her formula and now I think I may have to stop the bf altogether, have tried keeping her on longer and longer and feeding more frequently now the nips aren't bleeding anymore (sorry TMI) but she just gets very restless on the boob and goes on and off alot and just gets very cranky!! Is very depressing as I really wanted to BF for as long as I could and I haven't even made it to 2 months yet! Plus she won't settle for anything other than boob if she is screaming, and someone else said about LO not taking a dummy and P is the same, even tried special shaped Tommee Tippee ones but no luck, keeps her occupied for about 2mins before she screams again!!

Am feeling a bit low, but going shopping with a friend tomorrow which will be nice. Ventured to shopping centre alone yesterday and wrestled with pushchair for 20mins and no one stopped to help me was very tearful and have really hurt my back trying to get the damn thing open!! Still got HV coming out every week as they want to keep an eye on P's weight gain coz of the feeding issues but am hoping that I will get 'discharged' and be allowed to go to the clinic as and when. Also got a baby group there every 3rd Tues so will make the effort to go to that, they are doing baby massage at the next one so really want to go to that!! P has first injections on the 6th so am dreading that!

Glad the poo thing is 'normal'... projectile poo is hilarious, or is that just my warped sense of humour?! Anyway, have babbled for ages and ages...oh just wanted to say Bumbo looks great, DH's step sister had one at weekend for her LO and looked amazing...defo getting one for P as soon as she can hold her head up!!

Hi All

Bebe, you should be proud of all you've done so far with it being so hard. You've given her the best start you could so don't feel down if you do decide to give up. I gave up for very similar reasons but am still expressing 3x a day and he's getting about 14oz off me or my boobs would explode but have to say that is getting me down now too and I need to try tailing it off. Maybe give yourself a set amount of time to see if P improves on the boob but if you're unhappy, then she'll sense it - no point in getting resentful about bf which is where I was heading. Good luck.

CilC - 6.15 is slightly bonkers....I've found a boxing class to join - vvv excited.

lol @ sweetkitty my life seems to revolve around bodily functions as well
before my shower at night or if havnt had the time in morning im convinced i either smell of poo or sick how nice is that also i had nappy pins stuck in my jumper on school run today,i always put them, there when changing him and forgot as he went in a velcro wrap
audio for samuel today he has 38% hearing in one ear im so so pleased about that something we may be able to work on
hes also gettin very cranky and want me to pick him up and carry him everywhere even in the car he just stares and cries doesnt take his eyes of me
gotta dash dinner to cook and got to put a load of nappies on to wash ive got 2 left
this is not good he will be in a old towel if i dont get a move on
sorry i havnt read all posts but thinking of all you guys and the babies

Hi all, hope you are all well! Sunshine just come out here and it's been raining all day, so DS1 in garden, a minutes peace before tea

Exploding poo: DS1 used to do this ALL the time, I think he broke the world record once, must have gone at least 2.5 meters across the room, covering DH's shirt and tie (before he went to work, not a happy bunny) but Sam has never done one (yet!) he just does the other annoying thing of filling his very clean, very new nappy!

Thought i had time for a big catch up but sam squarking.... maybe later when they're in bed

lol - Why is a clean nappy better for pooing in?

bebejones - don't feel bad if you decide to stop bf - remember every drop of breastmilk you've given Phoebe is fantastic. I am very pro bf, but a happy Mummy is more important.

While we're on the subject of bf..
Libra - please try to avoid the bedtime bottle of formula. People always say it helps them sleep but I am a sceptic. (DS1 had a bedtime bottle and was no better at sleeping than the next 2. I also realise it was a major factor in my stopping bf much sooner.) It is def harder on their tummies.

2nd set of jabs for Poppy tomorrow

Evening all, the bottle of formula wasn't to make A sleep longer it was to enable me to go to bed at 8pm tonight and DH to give A his last feed from a bottle at 10pm before I took over the night-feeds.
Have had a good (tho very tired) day however so didn't crack and buy some. Thanks for your words of encouragement to perserve

isaidno - hope Poppys jabs aren't too distressing for her.

Wobbling -hope your DD is feeling better.

SK - I read your thread, the timing was great as I was starting to waiver in my resolve to get to at least 3 months b/f exclusively.

Poledra - your DH sounds like a very nice guy! It doesn't matter how bad a day the other guy was having there is no excuse for violence.

CilC - 6:15! However I do agree that being back in the gym is great, I managed my first body pump class last night and it felt great.

Bebe - you shouldn't beat yourself up over b/f, you have done so well to get this far.

Minkus - you need to look after you as well otherwise you won't be in good enough state to look after everyone else! Could you book a massage or anything and just slip away from an hour?

Sounds like I better get a bumbo if I want to remain in the gang

Hello Everyone.

Clic- well done you... but 6.15!!

Bebe- Glad your begining to get out and about. I found it made me feel more human.
Agree with the others in not feeling bad about the feeding. I have days were I feel rotten about giving up about 6 weeks but then think any BM is better than nothing and being a happy mummy is everything!

Jodie- Yep! they do see to favour clean nappies!

Libra- Did have chuckle at the Bumbo gang!

Abigail had her first set of Jabs today. She hated it and screamed her little head off! I felt awful watching and was almost in tears myself!
She slept most of the day and didnt like her thighs being touched for a while but has been all smiles this evening so dont think shes been too traumatised.

pigley - aww jabs are always hard, mine sleep the night after having them too forgot about that

libra1975 - I think theres time even the most hardened proBFer waivers don't worry. What about expressing? I find that I have loads of milk in the morning but not much in the evening, if you expressed a bottle in the morning then DH could give the 8pm bottle IYSWIM

bebe - aww honey when I read your post I wanted to come round yours with cake, make you some tea and give you a big hug. You sound so down. I always said that if BFing was making me miserable I would stop. You have done a fantastic job getting this far and I think no Mother should ever feel guilty about not BFing or giving up, it's only a tiny part of being a mother. She will go absolutely fine on formula and you will start to feel a bit better. As for the getting out and about, get your pram in the house and practice opening and closing it about 20 times until you can do it in your sleep. I'm not kidding thats what I did with mine, much easier doing it indoors that out in public.

I want a bumbo now, love the pink one with the little tray, think DP will go mad if I buy anymore baby things though.

Bebe - like others have said, well done for feeding P so far! whatever you decide, do what is best for you.
If you do want to carry on bf, and you might decide not, but if you do...have you had anyone eg bf counsellor try to work out why feeding was so difficult and she lost weight? hvs however supportive are not bf experts unfortunately..
I know i've said this before and i'll not say it again i promise! but i know some fantastic bf counsellors and support group where i go. they help you to bf as much as you want to and can manage - you can do both!
i ended up mixed feeding dd1 ie she had one bottle a day, then 2, then i went back to work so 3 - and it worked for us; no more worries / presure re weight gain, and did last feed with her at 13 months.
please ignore all above if you want - i am sorry if i'm speaking out of turn!