Does anyone else find it harder connecting with other mums at groups with baby number 2?

[Bram31]

1st time round I found it easy to speak with other mums, there was common ground, like we were all in it together.

Second time round I am finding it really hard, I get those with newborns don't necessarily want to be around a toddler. However I am finding it very difficult to make "mum friends" this time round even when I'm just with baby. It may be my exhaustion 😆 But starting to feel like there's a 1st time mum clique, anyone else?

Oh no that sucks. I've not been to any clubs yet but my second is 5.5yrs.

Hope you manage to find some less cliquey mum friends soon!

Yes tbh I found everything with baby 2 lonelier, family and friends didn’t seem to gather round or have the same level of interest and excitement as they do with the first baby. Then at groups it just mainly seemed to be first-timers who wanted to mix with others like them.

I was a first time mum when I was a bit older than most other first time mums (40) so I actually really enjoyed chatting more with second time mums as they were, even if they were still younger than me, a bit more relaxed and less intense! We did chat about babies but also lots of other things too. So I’d often go to the pub with them rather than the cafe with the other first time mums! My first baby also loved being around toddlers and young children, so I liked catching up with them on the days they had them with them too. Not sure what my advice is here mind you… maybe look out for mums who look like they’d appreciate chat beyond going over their birth stories again and again!!

Yeah I found that a bit. I suspect it was me, not them, a lot - I got a bit irritated by the (understandable) PFB stuff, and felt I had to hold my tongue to avoid sounding like a know-it-all.

But I also found the baby stuff easier, so I didn’t need the group solidarity so much.

It’s less of an issue now DD2 is a toddler.

With my 2nd I went to hartbeeps at about 10w pp and there was literally another mum there quizzing the mums "is this your first?"
She came up to me and I said I had a 2 yr old and she was like great...! We can be friends 😅
i have a 2 yr old there are 2 others here with a 2 and 3 yr old.

We all swapped numbers, sacked off hartbeeps and just went to the pub after that.
They got me through my 2nd mat leave...

No need to politely smile at inane PFB chat

I'd try out a few different classes and seek out 2nd or 3rd time mums

I agree, I think people don’t need the groups as much