Tips for coping with newborn alone

[AleaEim]

Hi,

I have a 3.5 week old and have had the luxury of DH being on paternity leave since her birth but he goes back to work next week. She’s been pretty good at sleeping/feeding (I’m breastfeeding and hand expressing the odd bottle) however she seems to be cluster feeding more and more which is sporadic, could be morning or evening or she might not cluster feed at all some days. During these times I struggle to do anything and dh has to follow my demands ‘can you get me a water, make me lunch, charge my phone, wipe my bum (joke).

Obviously I need to find a way to set my self up for self sufficiency for next week so I’m asking for tips from you lovely mumsnetters. I would love a decent cup to drink tea out of but it tastes awful in a stainless steel flask, is there such a thing as a ceramic type cup that’s leak proof so I don’t scald baby? Also, I could do with a water bottle that I can open with one hand that won’t spill if I have to leave it on the bed/ sofa beside me. Also, what snacks/ lunches are best for one handed breastfeeders? Should I just set everything up in one room before DH goes back?

Intrigued to hear your advice.

Biggest piece of advice is your baby will not break if you place it down in a safe place.

You can go to the loo, shower, make a cup of tea etc. Don't let anyone tell you you can't.

Go to a sling library.

Get out of the house in a morning for daylight & fresh air.

It's fine to watch box sets on the sofa and sleep when the baby sleeps.

This! My daughter is nearly 9 months old now and still a velcro baby, we use the sling a lot but also, sometimes she has to be put down and the world doesn’t end!

The early days my biggest help once my husband went back to work as having a nappy caddy in the living room, I kept it next to me on the sofa and that basically had a little stash of anything I might urgently need- nipple cream/water/juice/snacks/tissues. I used to make my lunch the night before and pop it in the fridge so that all I had to do the next day was grab it and eat one handed, just little things to make life easier!

See how DH can help. Can he deal with the baby in the morning so that you can get showered and ready for the day before he leaves? Can he make you lunch/snacks and leave them ready for you so that you can grab them when you need them? Can he pick up some household tasks - laundry/washing up/making supper etc so that you can focus on the baby? It is still such early days!

One thing that really helped me was I would make myself a big jug of squash in the morning that I would then have next to me with a glass all day so I was at least hydrated for the hours of BFing. A nice one-handed lunch like pasta ready in the fridge also helps. Do you have a bassinet or something downstairs? As PPs have said it's fine to pop them down while you do things too.

Nappy caddy is a great idea!

Yes he’s been very hands on, he’s probably trying to keep the place too clean I would say. I’ve been trying to explain that cooking healthy food for me is priority over cleaning but his default chores seem to be cleaning, walking dogs etc

I think taking baby in the morning will work and then organising my
food/ snacks for the day.

Newborns are asleep more than they're awake. You will absolutely manage to eat/drink independently.

https://amzn.eu/d/27SAW33 this bottle is awesome and does not leak even when unlocked. You can probably find it cheaper elsewhere.

But I think you are overthinking. Feed for half an hour or whatever, then put the baby down, go to pee and get a drink. If the baby cries, just talk/sing to it from the other room and keep reassuring with your voice until you can get back. I mean a few minutes obviously, not hours. But enough time to see to your basic needs.
Baby is old enough for a bouncy seat. Have you got one? Mine were happy in these so long as they could see me, so I just put it in whatever room I was in while I did whatever task was needed. I showered while they watched, chopped veg, hung washing, everything.

I have a hydro flask mug because I was also worried about spilling coffee on the baby but I did need the caffeine!

https://www.amazon.de/-/en/dp/B0CJCVHK9G/?coliid=I3RE1WZH3A3C6&colid=33KYB5K9VQV3N&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_ys_dp_it

Also second a nappy caddy and a very large water bottle. If your baby isn't colic-y, then it's a lot easier than you think, honestly. They just eat and sleep. It's a few more weeks before they care too much about being set down and are more easily awoken by external noises.

Thanks for the tips, she’s not very Velcro yet but it’s just the cluster feeding is tough.

Easy to say now of course now I am out of the early days but I wish I had enjoyed having a newborn more. Just focus on keeping yourself and your baby fed, hydrated, clean and rested when Dad is at work, when he’s home you can take turns on baby duty / putting a wash on.

If you do nothing all day except breastfeed, change baby, shower, eat and watch TV, you’ve actually done loads. I have a 10mo now and really miss the days where he slept on me for ages and I was stuck in front of the tv!

Podcasts and headphones are great. Nappy caddy with wipes, creams, etc for baby. Add in bits for you or have a basket beside your sofa in arms reach with things like lip balm, nipple cream, phone charger, brush, water bottle and snacks. I used to stock mine up with oat bars, crisps etc. Meant if I was trapped under baby for a while I could eat something.

And last depending on what time dad gets home a lamp in easy reach or on a smart plug a few times I got stuck under baby and DH would come home to find me sat in the dark 😂