9 weeks old.. how to stop BF?

[Flyx]

Please no BF judgement...
My baby is 9 weeks and has been exclusively BF since birth. We've had real difficulty with sleep since birth. He does at MOST one 2-3 hour stretch every night (and this isn't every night) and then proceeds to wake up anywhere from 50mins-1hr30mins. It's killing me as it means I'm always up with him with no break, I've started to resent my husband sleeping so soundly beside me while I do perhaps the 5th BF of the night! not looking for advice on routine as I think ultimately it's his temperament and we just have a baby who isn't the best sleeper. Because of this I'm desperate to give up BF, I want to share the load and get my life back. On top of this I've recently had mastitis so overall I just feel really depressed by BF.
My LO won't take a bottle currently. He won't outright refuse, he just plays with it in his mouth. We are trying to give breast milk to help the transition. I've tried 3 different bottle types but no luck. How do I make the transition to stopping BF? How will I get him to take a bottle?
Thank you

How many bottle types have you tried and who is offering the bottle?

Ideally you want to give body temp expressed breast milk in something like a mam bottles and have anyone but you feeding the baby.
You should be far away (diff floor or out of the house)

We have tried Tomme Tippee, MAM and the latex teet with NUK (all for less than 2 months age, so we could try the older ones). All have the same result of him not refusing but playing with it and not latching. He might have 30mls over 10-15mins.
I have tried as has my husband. When my husband does it I have tried leaving the room. I usually give up and come back in after 2hrs if I hear him crying.
I have a hair appointment this evening and could stay out of the house for longer.. do you think he would eventually cave in and have the bottle? So desperate to transition him!

This sounds so tough for you. I think your husband should be waking up some of the time - if you had a night nanny they would bring you the baby to breastfeed then take him away for burping, changing and resettling. Why isn't DH doing some of that? The only thing he can't do is actually feed the baby - he shouldn't get to sleep all night while you're awake!

Only other thing to consider is that if you can tough it out for 2 more months your DS might be able to go straight to a sippy cup rather than a bottle. Some babies can manage these from 4 months. You would hopefully be feeding him a bit less often by then anyway, the first couple of months are hard as their tummies are so small.

This sounds totally normal for a BF or FF baby, it's important they wake in the night. FF won't be a magic solution here. DH needs to step up and give you more rest in the day, if that's getting baby up at 4am so you can sleep in for an hour, or dealing with all the housework so you can creep off to bed at 7pm then so be it,

I wouldn’t try the older ones- you need a slow flow. Try Gulicola - you can get them on Amazon - I believe they’re meant to be one of the best for transitioning.

He's only 9 weeks so feeding very often is entirely normal.

I agree with other poster about getting your DH to get up some nights to resettle the baby and allow you to go back to sleep after a feed.

The first few weeks and months are pretty relentless but then they tend to settle into a routine.

My DD had a sleep pattern like that as a newborn. I exclusively bottle fed formula milk from a couple of weeks old. She liked the Mam bottles. The teats have different numbers so you could try size 0 or 1.

Following as we are going through exactly the same thing - I think the short feeds in second half of the night are because baby is falling asleep on the boob too quick, trying to keep him awake long enough for a full feed is difficult!

We are trying to introduce 2 x FF during the day so I can go out for a few hours without the baby!

He will take the Mam Extra Slow Flow teats but not consistently - we manage one successful bottle feed one day, but he won’t take it the next! Very stressful

mine is the same rip very little sleep whats worst is he has reflux. Mine did play with bottle at first but i learnt a thing or two.He likes his milk on the warm end so need to make sure its warm and how do you wash your bottles.I found out breast milk has a very mild taste.So if i use scented washing up liquid to wash the bottles the scent affects the taste ,they end up rejecting the milk .I always use unscented washing up liquid.So far mines accepting a tommee tippee bottle with breastmilk once a day,i am going to do that until i plan to switch in a few months time.

Unfortunately for me as mine has reflux it can mask lactose intolerance meaning if i switch to formula to soon it could cause all kind of issues meaning less sleep for me already.Keep trying just one bottle type of just expressed milk.Now with my other two after they were happy drinking expressed milk out a bottle ,i slowly introduced formula.I did this by adding a little of ready made to their breastmilk after a few days added a little more formula less breast ,waited a few more days.So very slowly i watered down the breastmilk with ready made until they couldn't tell the difference

People say this is normal but for a young baby its odd kind of normal my first breastfed every 4 hours my second every 3hrs but this one is every hour its exhausting.

It's really hard the first 2 or 3 months. I felt the same way, i wanted to stop BFing and thought it just wasn't meant for me.
My baby was up all night, didn't sleep even for 2 hours.
I took care of him mostly all day, except from 11am-12pm and 5-6pm. My MIL would take him.

At night, i took care of him until 1am. 1-3am my husband took over with formula and 3 am to 6 am, my MIL took over with milk i would pump and leave in the fridge.. so I had help, which is what you need. Without that it's just too much.

Things got easier from week 10-11. Now, he wakes up only once at night and sometimes not at all. Their routines change and they start sleeping most of the night.

As others suggested, using a slow flow bottle helps. It mimics the breast and my baby easily switches from boob to bottle.

I would suggest trying to stick on. Honestly, today, breastfeeding is second nature and is easier than pumping, personally.
Please get help and get some sleep overnight. Talk to your family.

Hello! I just wanted to update as we have ended up completely transitioning to just formula over the last 2 weeks, no more BF at all. I think switching between the 2 was confusing baby and was a big part of why he wouldn’t consistently take a bottle.
He now takes it very easily, though still only has small feeds (he is currently 8 weeks, hopefully as he gets even more used to it/older he will have fewer but longer feeds)

I do miss the bond and the ease of BF, don’t underestimate that bottles are a total faff! But I feel so much more myself already and overall, I am very pleased we have switched.

Also it turns out our baby doesn’t prefer the MAM teats, he prefers Tommy tippee - I’m putting it down to the base of the teat being much wider and boob like!

How are things going for you now, OP?

P.s we went against most advice in the end, and went cold turkey on the BF - pumped a couple of times the first few days when boobs felt uncomfortable, but now don’t feel the need. This is what has worked best for us, but isn’t usually recommended.

Probably the only way to transition more peacefully is to get your Husband to do the feeds, The baby probably will not take the bottle from you if he can smell breastmilk on you remember its not just milk he's getting but also comfort.

Thanks for the advice everyone and glad to hear a success story!
We have had much better sleep the last week (it’s almost like he knew the threat of me stopping BF was coming..). We now are getting a 3-4 hr stretch at the start of the night which is life changing. I know it’s likely short lived so just enjoying it while I can!

Still no success with the bottle and my feelings of wanting to stop BF haven’t much changed. L We are trying to be consistent with the same bottle every few days (MAM), using expressed breast milk (sometimes even milk pumped immediately) but are still struggling. He won’t latch, just plays with it.
I’m going out for dinner next week with friends and this will be the test as I will be out of the building for a few hours and he will be with my husband. Obviously if it is a disaster I’ll just come home early but fingers crossed I might be able to stay out for 3hrs…
Any further tips welcome!

Oh, glad to hear you’re getting more sleep!

Maybe offering bottle every few days isn’t often enough? Have you ever tried offering it more regularly?

Hello, I'm in a very similar situation with my 9 week old. It's inconsistent if he will accept the bottle. I'm keen to just stop breastfeeding. How did it work out for you ?

So baby is nearly 8 months now and we are still BF…!

Its much harder than I ever thought to stop.
our guy will luckily take a bottle from anyone except me IF I am no where to be seen. It’s meant we have been able to go to a wedding and he’s been no issue at all feeding wise (sleep is a whole other thing).

Im not happy that I am still BF and so next week I will be stopping and we’ve made quite an elaborate plan to help achieve this. Speaking with other Mums we have decided the only way to do this is if I’m away for a few days. So I will be going away for a few nights from home and staying with friends, husband will be managing all feeds. We’ve managed to swap 2 BFs already in the day with bottles (he has taken time off work to achieve this) but it is frustrating as I have to be completely out of the house when it’s happening.

Fingers crossed, all goes well next week. I’m actually proud to have made it to 8 months, a little sad in a weird way to stop but mostly ecstatic to get my body back.

And who knows.. maybe he will stop waking up every 2 hours too…

Hi OP
My little one is taking a bottle more consistently now which is a relief. I completely understand your emotions as I worked so hard to get him to accept a bottle but now feel conflicted about stopping breastfeeding. I DO enjoy it even though i would like some sleep, some routine and maybe a break! I keep going back and forth about whether I want to combi or exclusively formula feed. The only panic I have is that if I don't switch soon he may start refusing the bottle again and I can not mentally spiral over that again....

What worked for us was persistence, offering it daily at the same time, hot milk and teat dipped into some hot water so it's warm before offering. Lots of swaying singing and walking during feed.

I had a similar baby RE sleep. She's 2 now and goes to sleep at 9-10pm and wakes up 5:30-6:30am. Only recently stopped waking in the middle of the night every day. Still comes to my bed at 4am several times a week though. I remind myself to enjoy the cuddles in bed while they last. Good luck with it all and well done for making it to 8 months BF!

Sorry to hear this. It’s been a long time since I breastfed however the constant feeding was killing me.
The way I got my baby to take one bottle of formula so they had a good feed before bed was that my ex husband would do it. The baby could not smell my milk so knew my option wasn’t available. I’d get a head start and go to bed while he did the feed, changed baby and put to sleep. So as a result I would get at least 4-5 hours solid sleep when she was 6 weeks old. This maybe a way for you to start weaning your baby off your milk,

in the meantime are you taking vitamins ect … it’s hard to prepare and eat nutritious meals when you have baby stuck to you.