Newborn sleep issues

[Minnesota38]

Hi. I'm a FTM to a 17 day old little girl. She'll settle okay in the day, either on us or in her Moses basket (if we transfer her when fully asleep, although she'll still wake sometimes and just want to be held), but overnight we are having a nightmare. I know babies don't sleep well but this is like nothing else and we're beyond exhausted which is impacting on my mental health (I've self referred to the perinatal mental health team). She will only sleep if held overnight, she hates the SnuzPod and even if fast asleep when put down, she'll wake within about 5 minutes and be so upset. The last few nights she has been up from about 11pm - 5am, very brief moments of sleep before she wakes in utter distress and nothing seems to settle her. We've just started her yesterday on a new prescription milk for suspected cows milk protein allergy so I know that'll take a few days to kick in, and she has infacol too. Overnight she is so distressed, nothing at all seems to settle her and I don't know where else to try. I'm not really sure what I'm even asking but I feel at breaking point and just want my baby to to be less distressed.

Hi @Minnesota38 ,

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. My DD who is now 4 months was also like this for the first few weeks. When you say she was awake from 11-5, was this with you holding her? Myself and my partner ended up doing shifts at night. I would hold her for a few hours and then partner would take over and this enabled us to get some sleep. Is this something you could do? Then from about two weeks we decided to swaddle her for all naps and night sleep and played white noise and this really helped her settle much better. We also used to put the Moses basket into the beside crib at night as she seemed to prefer sleeping in there. I know people always say this and it doesn’t feel like it but it will improve. Also hopefully the new milk will help.

Thank you @Fleur240 - initially she'd sleep at night if we held her, but the last two nights she has barely settled even if we keep holding her. She just seems so distressed, probably overtired too but nothing seems to settle her and I just feel like I'm failing my baby by her being so distressed and me not being able to help her settle.

Congratulations on your new baby!

My little one is 16 months now and he was very much the same. We ended up living in 4 hour shifts, one would sleep for a few hours and then take over after 4-5 hours. It was the only way we could get any sleep.
We ended up bringing in reinforcements my mum and MIL sat with the baby while we slept upstairs. Anything just to get through the days really.

Unfortunately it can be normal, my dd did this for the first couple of months. We split the night and slept in shifts, is this something you can look at doing? So one of you sleeps 8pm - 1am and one sleeps 1am to 7am or similar?

Thanks all. We've been doing shifts where we can, but sometimes she's just so distressed that we both need to be up as I struggle with not being able to settle her and it's horrible to see her so upset.

I knew babies didn't sleep well but honestly (and probably stupidly) hasn't expected this to be so hard.

If she'd settle with being held then we could cope with being awake, but it's her being distressed all night that is just heart breaking and I just don't know what else to try to settle her.

My Dsis held her baby all night for the first 6 weeks. He wouldn't be put down. She took it in turns with her DH and they would both sleep for a few hours each before hand over.
Its quite normal for some babies. They have been inside you for 9 months and can't manage without you.

@Minnesota38 with you saying that she doesn’t settle when you’re holding her either is does sound like it could be the CMPA causing the distress so hoping the prescription milk helps. It really is difficult when they are distressed and you’re sleep deprived. Please don’t think you are failing your baby though. You are doing everything you can! Sorry I can’t be of more help x

My son was like this, we took two hour shifts during the night so we could sleep a little. He had a tongue tie and wasn’t gaining appropriate weight. Tongue tie caught quite late and got better when I moved onto combi feeding and the tie was cut. But saying all that, have a six week old now and after the first week she didn’t want to be put down, I didn’t want a repeat of the many distressing nights with my son so I’ve co-slept and it’s helped lots as she just wants to be around me. Also, Worth looking up wake times for babies on the internet as if you think your baby is over tired try and get as many sleeps watching the wake time windows so not overtired and full of adrenaline when night hits.

I'm sorry if this is an obvious/frustrating question, but are you using a dummy?

They are so demonised these days, but can be an absolute game changer for some babies (while some hate them). We loved the MAM newborn ones with the hollow centres.

We've tried a dummy today with mixed success, she had one for a bit earlier but then has spat it out tonight. Using a dummy wouldn't be my first choice but we'll literally try anything to get an hour or twos sleep.

It could be silent reflux OP, which is why she goes into her cot but wakens 5 mjns later. Have a look at the symptoms online, reflux and CMPA can come hand in hand. Silent reflux can be hard to diagnose.

I have a 3 month old and we've had a rough ride with sleep too. He has CMPA and been diagnosed with silent reflux but only 4 weeks ago, and it took a while for me to realise what it was. None of the health professionals even suggested it, I had to do the searching for answers myself. He's been on gaviscon for 4 weeks and is much more settled. His sleep is still poor, he doesn't sleep longer than 2 hour stretches (a lot of the time it's less than that) so I'm still seriously sleep deprived, but at least ira progress.

No advice but sending virtual hugs. It sounds like your doing great and I'm hoping the new milk will help solve some issues for you x

Just to be really sure, I'd ask a Gp to check there nothing else going on - my first had a lot of difficulties with feeding and at night as he was so small and had a tongue tie that wasn't picked up till 4 months.

But when he was at his worst around 3 months it turned out he had a urine infection. The system up here goes a bit nuts testing every young child with an illness; I was dismissive of the Gp who said to do so but it turned out he did.

It is normal for a lot of babies to need to be held for a while. But if she's not settling on you then that could be discomfort due to allergies. In the morning make sure to expose her to bright daylight and throughout the day then later in the evening dim light etc so that she starts to get used to day vs night, it might be that she hasn't figured this out yet. Some things that worked for us were also swaddling, warming the next to me first and red light/white noise. We only put down asleep for the first few months.

How are things now OP? I'm going through this exact thing with my 14 day old girl right now!

Hoping you have ur little one has started to settle xxx