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Original poster

Help with PND

10 replies

MummyT13 · 16/01/2023 16:12

Hi All, I'm struggling with PND! Please help if you can.. even some words of wisdom would be nice 😊.

So my baby is 4 weeks old and the most perfect baby.. doesn't really cry, already smiling etc and such a strong little bub! Couldn't be more perfect SO.. why do I feel like the most depressed and anxious person in the world.

I've bonded with the baby so well to the point when I don't want anyone else touching her or holding her. I'm okay if they look at her but I want her glued to me! If I was a kangaroo then it'd be ideal right now! I'd just keep her in my pouch and just let her out for food 🤣

Sound psychotic right?

So let me give you a bit of an insight. My DP is foreign but lives with me and his parents live abroad so have come to live with us for 3 months and it's hell on earth for me and I strongly believe that it could be the cause of the PND! The agreement was that they could come and stay but would go for the 2 weeks after the baby's born so we have family time but it didn't happen and all I've done is struggle with anxiety over them taking my baby. I feel like I have no safe space to be with my baby. I feel like I'm judged horrendously!

How would you cope?

OP posts:
bakewellbride · 17/01/2023 19:08

No answers but a bump for you. Flowers

Elspethelf · 21/01/2023 03:48

Have you been able to be honest with your partner about this?

You have a newborn for such a short amount of time, you have the right to be comfortable in your own home and enjoy your new family. I hope you get the support you need from your partner

Original poster
MummyT13 · 21/01/2023 10:05

@Elspethelf yeah I have but it doesn't seem to have changed anything to be honest. It's like talking to a brick wall. X

OP posts:
Elspethelf · 21/01/2023 10:29

If you haven’t already, be very direct about what you need and how you expect to be supported.

  • We agreed to spend the first two weeks as a family of three, and that hasn’t happened. This time is important to me. It’s time for them to leave for two weeks as agreed upon and I need you to take charge in this
  • When your parents do x, they are undermining my ability to parent my child. Let’s agree on boundaries that you can set with your parents
  • This situation is impacting my mental health and I don’t think you are taking this seriously.

If you have support to lean on, family or friends, now is the time to ask for help. Also speak to your Dr as soon as possible. PND is no joke and your well-being needs to be prioritized. Wishing you all the best

Original poster
MummyT13 · 21/01/2023 17:00

@Elspethelf Thank you so much!

I've been to the doctors because obviously the situation isn't changing so I didn't want to leave it any longer as I was already feeling like I didn't want to be here anymore. So they put me on medication.. However... that comes with a new heart breaking problem of not being able to breastfeed! It's painful listening to my baby cry at night and not being able to feed her. I have to give her a bottle at night which isn't what she wants. I've combination fed since she was born and given her bottle between 8am and 5pm and then breastfed. I keep crying now because I can't breastfeed x

OP posts:
Elspethelf · 21/01/2023 19:43

I’m so sorry this is your experience. I’m holding my 10 day old son right now and navigating family visits. It’s so hard.

If you feel strong enough, advocate for yourself and don’t suffer in silence. If you don’t feel strong enough, look to you supporters for help.

My heart goes out to you.

Original poster
MummyT13 · 22/01/2023 09:38

Thanks @Elspethelf it's hard because last night my DP cried over how I'm feeling so I felt guilty and made him feel better but that was then turned and he spent a good 3 hours telling me I Dont care about him and his family and it's only my family that matters etc. I feel like I'm being emotionally tortured to be honest. I told him I cant do this anymore and I Dont want to be with someone that does that but he fell asleep while I was talking to him and then woke up this morning and he is carrying on as normal and talking as normal etc x

OP posts:
Arushofbloodtothehead · 22/01/2023 09:46

Hi OP, stick with the medication. If PND is the cause (and not your DP and his family) it will help. I've been there with the PND and medication helped after 1-2 weeks.

DD will get used to the bottle at night so dont be upset about not being able to breastfeed. By doing whats best for you, you are doing whats best for DD. She needs her mummy with good mental health.

Elspethelf · 05/02/2023 14:33

@MummyT13 I hope things are getting easier for you and you’ve been able to enjoy time with your newborn

Original poster
MummyT13 · 06/02/2023 20:12

@Arushofbloodtothehead Thank you!

@Elspethelf I'm still struggling at the moment. Have drs again tomorrow! I'm suffering with severe itching of my skin when I get severely anxious. 😏

OP posts:
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