Lonely night feeds

[chocsaucestrawb]

Anyone else find the night feeds slightly lonely ?

When it's all quiet and your missing sleep and up at silly o clock !

Thought be nice to start a thread for anyone doing night feeds or anyone up with unsettled or awake bubbas that might want to talk.

Bubba is 9 weeks old
Woke at 2am and 530 for a feed
(Usual pattern)

Just having a cuddle / burp before attempting to put her down to get a couple of hours (always hit and miss!)

X

My baby is 9.weeks old too. Night feeds are usually around 12 and around 5 / 6am so I'm lucky. Sometimes I contact my friend in Australia during feeding time which is nice. It is lonely though.

@Confusion101 hey (waves) my little one has done well the last 3 nights

Fed at 6pm, slept at 8pm. Dream fed at 10pm and she went until 3:15 and back down until 6:30 so that's good for her ! X

Nope, it’s one of the best parts of having a baby. It’s very special bonding time. It’s sad that you feel this way

Other feeds I feel like I bond, but a middle of the night tired feed in the dark when I'm trying to keep quiet so the baby doesn't think it's day time? No thanks 😅 and I don't feel sad about that either. Plenty of hours in the day for bonding

@Confusion101 I'm with you on that!
Don't think my post was really understood by the other comments 🙄

Also I said when baby is unsettled.... so yeah when my baby is screaming for hours on end and I'm on my own waiting for DH to come home so I can at least have a break and also look after my other daughter who must get stressed by the crying yes it can feel lonely and in the night when she doesn't settle yes I do feel lonely
I also bond with my baby when I feed her the other 3/4 times in the day so I don't need anyones sadness

You’ll miss the night feeds when they’re gone but you might not realise that now that you’re in the midst of them

You are the first parent I have ever heard saying that 😂😂😂😂

I agre @Birdie135 although I never thought I would when I was going through them the first time! But actually when my first night weaned and I stopped getting feeding snuggles I really missed it! Currently have a 2.5week old so up feeding 2/3 times a night and although yes at times it is just really lonely, some nights (when I'm not as tired) I remind myself that I missed it when it was gone and embrace the cuddles

I definitely won't miss the night feeds 🤣
My daughter is 11 years old I do NOT miss them from hers so I won't this time

Sneaking on to this thread as my youngest is 3.5 years old. I definitely don't miss the night feeds!! My youngest woke many, many times a night so I definitely had my fill!

It is odd feeling like you are the only one awake. Especially as winter comes so it's still pitch black at 5/6am. I used to avoid my phone too, as it woke me up too much. This too will pass!

I found it lonely. DD was feeding every two hours at night . I don't miss night feeds at all.

Err also chiming in to say I have 4 children. The youngest is still night feeding as is a newborn…. Definitely don’t miss night feeds once they are done! The 12 other hours in the day are sufficient time together 🤣

(What I do miss with rose tinted hindsight are the care free days before school when we could do what we wanted, but when I remember the reality of that… I don’t really 🤣)

You’ll miss the night feeds when they’re gone but you might not realise that now that you’re in the midst of them

😂😂😂 No. No you won't. DS is a few weeks shy of 3 and has juuust started sleeping through probably 80% of nights. The other 20% he still has a quick 5 minute breastfeed to get him back to sleep quickly. He and DH and I are all in a family bed due to our housing situation, and I do love climbing into bed and seeing his lovely sleeping face but there has honestly never been a morning that I've woken up and thought "Dammit, another solid uninterrupted 7 hours of sleep!" 😆

Due DC2 any day now and I'm dreading going back to that awful newborn exhaustion. Facebook groups helped stave off the loneliness first time round, especially as DS was a lockdown baby so there really wasn't any IRL support or friendship. But finding online groups of parents who had similar parenting values to me was a lifesaver during those 3am feeds.

No. They were precious moments of quiet just between me and my babies, physical and intimate. I never minded. They were both good sleepers so it didn't last long.

Sounds as though your situation is very unusual and certainly different to mine. My night feeds only lasted 6 months. To still be going at 3 is pretty soul destroying. Have you sought any sleep advice?

Yes completely, really special times

It is possible to appreciate the mid night cuddle while also wishing they would sleep through the night. I get plenty of cuddles during the day.... I don't know if you are meaning to @Birdie135 but your posts are coming across a little preachy as though u are trying to make us feel guilty for not wanting the night feeds 🙈

Another lonely night feed. I think it's the silence of the outside that gets me. No cars passing etc... Anyway all the silence has been filled with dps snoring so any chance of me getting back to sleep is gone! 😭

Sounds as though your situation is very unusual and certainly different to mine. My night feeds only lasted 6 months. To still be going at 3 is pretty soul destroying. Have you sought any sleep advice?

Well, the really frequent feeds only lasted about 8 months, then gradually decreased until now we usually have one quick feed around 3am. I did seek advice but deliberately looked for advice in line with my wider parenting approach, which is probably considered kind of "crunchy". I'm happy with what we did - it's not for everyone but it worked well for us and I'd do the same with the next one if that's what (s)he wants/needs. But yes, it is sort of unusual in the West I suppose (I'm not white British).

@Confusion101 oh no! Hate that when little one is actually asleep and then you can't sleep for one reason or another

My lo has started going longer between feeds but my body clock seems to be awake 🤣like I'm always listening out for her thinking does she need a feed!

She fed at 10pm but is still asleep yet I'm awake and have just done her a bottle as she was stirring but now sound asleep when I've come back in after doing the bottle!! X