Guilt after having Baby Number 2

[Msd2416]

Hi all,

DS is just over a week old And DD is 2 and 4 months! I just feel like she’s still a baby herself and she has always been very clingy with me so I’m finding it really hard to split my time and make sure nothing changes for her whilst also seeing to DS.

I also cannot stop crying when I put them to bed it’s so overwhelming how to juggle.

Also - I keep thinking will DS and DD get on being different genders? Will they play together?

Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels like this?

Put the toddler to bed first while baby is either being held by your partner or if that’s not possible buy an electric swing seat to keep baby happy while you’re dealing with toddler. Then baby can just go to bed with you a bit later on. Young babies don’t need an early bedtime as they sleep so much in the day

I feel your pain. I have a 24 month old and a 3 month old. The guilt I feel is unbelievable. An awful lot more telly is watched rhan ever before and I feel like the worst mum in the world. My eldest is very clingy too. Possibly due to lockdown life, I don't know. My little one doesn't nap well during the day either so it's very hard at the moment. However, what I keep telling myself, and what you must also, is that it will get better. And as they grow up and your youngest gets moving around, I'm sure like will be easier. I also wouldn't worry about them being different genders, they'll play lovely I'm sure.

I am feeling this at the moment. Two week old and 2 yr 3 month old. Please someone tell me I'm going to stop feeling guilty. I struggle with the toddler so much and she doesn't seem
To like me very much at the moment. I also have all these feelings of sadness at this being my last newborn but not wanting to miss out on my older one either.

Does it get easier???

Be kinder to yourself OP! I cried doing most things a week after giving birth tbh.

Yes it gets much easier I promise - mine are also 2y 4 months apart. Eldest did struggle at first but doesn't remember life before DC2 any more and they play together more and more (they are now 4 and nearly 2). Mine are both boys but I don't think it would make a big difference if one was a girl. They won't get the impression that girls play one way and boys play another unless you or other adults make them think that's the case.

Assuming your partner is around, @NC938738953685 is right about how to do bedtime. I always used to hand baby over to DP and make bedtime stories and cuddles my 1:1 time with DC1.

Is your DC1 in childcare? Mine wasn't when I had DC2 (due to lockdown) - sending DC1 back to nursery made a massive difference to the whole family tbh.

also a lot a bit of Cbeebies really won't harm them.