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August 2021 - They've been here for half a year

741 replies

BertieBotts · 09/02/2022 20:47

Can you believe it! Our lovely little ones are (roughly) halfway to their first birthdays.

Welcome friends old and new for discussion of sleep, teeth, weaning, milestones, navigating post-baby relationships and the whole existential dread of parenthood... I mean those amazing moments when they make your heart melt. Or produce a poo that makes the wallpaper melt. Oh, all of them. Nothing is off limits because it's just good to know that somebody else has been there.

BrewCake

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RandomCatGenerator · 11/03/2022 22:56

So nice to see activity on the thread 🥰

Well. This is the week everything collided. As I mentioned, the cat flew in from India earlier this week, went straight to the vet and has had surgery on both her eyes - including removing one eye. She was very seriously ill. The vet assured us we couldn’t have done anything more for her given lack of advanced cat treatment options in India but flying her did make the eyes worse as the airline wouldn’t let her wear the cone of shame and she scratched them further. It’s so awful, she looked so so ill, but was purring away anyway. I’m glad she’s home but still feel so guilty that she is now one eyed even if there’s nothing more I could do.

Meanwhile, DS settling into nursery went really well - but predictably, he got a cold and has been a very sad snuffly sneezy baby for the last two days, which were due to be his first at nursery. Meaning no sleep for me or DH and lots of looking after the baby who wouldn’t really eat, was sick whenever he had any solid food, couldn’t sleep for long…it’s been baaad. Predictable with nursery starting especially as he doesn’t have an immune system for the type of germs he’ll get here.

Oh and our house is still a building site three weeks after work was meant to stop.

Oh and I sliced my finger badly and spent four hours in A and E.

It’s just been a totally, utterly SHIT WEEK. My depression flared up badly and I spent most of today in bed. DH is great but is understandably feeling the pressure as he’s also meant to be working.

Rant over. Sorry this is a bit sympathy seeking.

RandomCatGenerator · 11/03/2022 22:57

I don’t have any friends close by so thank you for listening to my rant. Have definitely returned to London with a bump.

RandomCatGenerator · 11/03/2022 23:07

@magik01 a photo shoot is a lovely idea. I hope you really enjoy it! I cringe at photos but am always so pleased later when I’m looking through my phone to have taken the time to take nice ones given kids change so fast. Getting some really nice ones will be so nice :)

@Smurf123 oh no, not the ‘rona! Get well soon.

@PurplePansy05 exciting you have your return to work planned, and I’m so happy for you that you’re looking forward to it. @Smallbean27’s nursery advice above is really good. I would add that having a few settle sessions really helped both me and him as did meeting those who will predominately look after him eg baby room staff / room leader(s). I’d suggest also making sure you have the flexibility / time off agreed with your line manager for when he inevitably gets a cold after the first few sessions!! I’d be tempted to book a few half days off in advance…

@Daffodil21 👏👏👏

@kagerou what is baby hummus?

WolfMother326 · 12/03/2022 09:51

On the point of car seats: I think we need to buy a new one, for 2 reasons. First, although our cybex cloud z was meant to fit up to 18 months, my super long baby is already busting out of it and seems so squished in the seat too. Second, we're taking a flight to the US in May and need a plane friendly car seat. Virgin Atlantic only allow forward facing seats that work with an air plane seatbelt- no 3 point harness. I'm totally confused about which seat would work. Ideally one that also could be used in the car for the next couple years. Any suggestions?

WolfMother326 · 12/03/2022 09:53

@RandomCatGenerator sorry you've have such a bad week!! That sounds stressful. Where exactly are you in West London? We're here for another couple of weeks.

BertieBotts · 12/03/2022 10:11

Have you moved the headrest up on your car seat Wolf and removed the newborn insert? The Cybex Cloud is one of the more roomy seats so I would be surprised if it is outgrown already. It's OK if his legs are off the end, that's quite normal :)

There are very very few UK certified seats that work well on planes, you might be best off getting a US one although those are not then certified for use here so you couldn't really use it as your main one.

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WolfMother326 · 12/03/2022 10:21

Thanks Bertie I will try adjusting it.

RE: plane seat, I'd prefer not to have one at all, we bought the seat for extra space, thinking DS could sit on our laps for take off etc, and sleep on me on a cushion, but the airline has said we need a car seat. Does that seem right? He'll only be 9 months old

Sarah13xx · 12/03/2022 12:31

@RandomCatGenerator oh no, sounds like one hell of a week 🤦🏼‍♀️ Sorry to hear about your cat, fingers crossed the recovery goes okay ❤️

Sarah13xx · 12/03/2022 12:32

@BertieBotts I haven’t moved the head rest up on mine (cybex cloud z), didn’t even know I needed to do this 🙈 do I?!

Sarah13xx · 12/03/2022 12:35

@WolfMother326 no idea about the plane situation, we’re going on holiday in a few months but he doesn’t have a seat, luckily not a long flight! We have the same car seat and he is particularly tall and it does feel like I’m really having to squash him into it now 🙄 was planning to buy the bigger version (sirona z) but have heard it’s not great for taller babies. Just annoyed we’ve spent so much on the base and my family have another two bases at £200 each, for me to then get a different second seat 😕 don’t know what to do

BertieBotts · 12/03/2022 13:39

Sarah yes probably :) There's a little loop at the top of the headrest, if you pull it up it will release the catch so the headrest can slide up and down. You want it so the headrest contains their head and their shoulders sit just under it, like this.

I will have a look at the Virgin policy.

August 2021 - They've been here for half a year
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BertieBotts · 12/03/2022 14:36

OK, it sounds like their policy is that if you've booked a seat for an infant and you want them to use that seat when the seatbelt sign is on, you'll need a car seat conforming to their guidance. If you don't have a car seat, or you bring a car seat but it's not appropriate to use on the plane, they'll put the car seat in the hold and you'll have the baby on your lap when the seatbelt sign is on.

That is a fairly standard policy. I wonder if it was explained badly to you as you should definitely be able to use the booked seat when the seatbelt sign is off, otherwise there isn't much point in being able to book it.

As for what car seats are approved, as you've said, you can't use your cloud z because it's rear facing which doesn't fit into their guidance, however, they don't require specific aircraft approval, just the standard R44 approval. This is helpful, because the only aircraft approved forward-facing seat is Britax Eclipse, and this will be no good to you because it only goes forward facing in a car as well. At 9 months I would definitely not recommend that and I think it's illegal anyway in most if not all US states. Plus, he might not even be 9kg yet at 9 months (some babies are, but only about half of boys and 1 in 4 girls).

Soo.... you could look at belt fitted rear facing/forward facing seats which might fit into their guidance. Just from other people's anecdotes, Joie Tilt, Joie Steadi and Britax Two Way Elite fit the bill there (although I haven't done it myself). The only way you might fall down here is that technically these seats need to be fitted using a 3 point seatbelt, not a lap belt, and the CAA says:

"Child restraint devices can only be fitted on a suitable aircraft seat using the type of seat belt/harness for which they were designed. For example a child restraint device that needs to be secured by a car type seat belt which includes a shoulder harness, cannot be installed on an aircraft seat that is fitted with a lap belt only."

I think when people take one and use it anyway, they are pretty much betting on the airline staff not being familiar enough with the seat to question it, which is fairly likely, but in general, EU based airlines have the kind of attitude of: why on earth would you want a car seat on an aircraft?? So I have also heard of people just point blank not being allowed to use the seat they have brought. This is different to North American based airlines, that have a specific blanket policy saying if the seat is FAA approved, nobody is allowed to say you can't use it. However that may also be because there is no baby seatbelt on those flights so babies with no car seat are completely unrestrained.

I think if it was me I would probably not bother with the car seat in the cabin, just use the normal baby seatbelt they give you for your lap, and maybe ask about booking a bassinet/skycot. If you need one for driving when you're there, especially if you're likely to visit the US again, look at FAA approved US car seats, order one to an amazon locker at the airport, you could probably use it on the way back if you do this. Or buy a cheap/lightweight one from the UK or bring your current one and take it in the hold.

Personally, I probably wouldn't recommend trying to travel with whatever will be your main car seat from now on, mainly because if you're looking to switch at 9 months ish you definitely want to stay rear facing at least initially, and the lightweight rear facing seats are a pain to use but the nicer to use ones are heavy and bulky. You can get some more compact forward facing seats that might travel well but most states require rear facing up to age 1 (some up to age 2) and again, wouldn't recommend that for main at-home seat from 9 months.

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RandomCatGenerator · 12/03/2022 14:38

@WolfMother326 thanks - have sent you a message.

That plane car seat advice sounds a bit mad. It isn’t recommended for babies to be in car seats for a very long time anyway. For the 10 hour flight we just did, we didn’t use a car seat but did get him his own seat which was well worth the money IMO but then, my work were paying so I was in a very fortunate position I realise. I found this website helpful www.flyingwithababy.com/flying-with-a-baby-tips/ I suggest trying to get a bassinet seat. If you can’t get a bassinet or don’t fancy it - they can be quite uncomfortable apparently - but do buy the baby a seat, a friend recommended using a inflatable aeroplane foot rest or travel bed which goes in the footwell void and means the baby can lie down.

Most airlines allow you to check the pram AND car seat for free.

BertieBotts · 12/03/2022 14:53

Album here with lots of pics of Britax Eclipse and Two Way Elite although it's old now and the TWE guidance officially says no to lap belt now, so may have the same problem as the other normal two way car seats.

www.facebook.com/RearFacingTheWayForward/photos/?tab=album&album_id=1198217850191178&ref=page_internal&_rdr

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Smurf123 · 12/03/2022 16:09

@BertieBotts you have beautifully compliant children by my test! Playing with kinetic sand and dd promptly decides to eat it... Said ah ah moved away from her mouth 10 times in like 10 secs before removing the sand and letting her okay with empty containers and moulds. She loves that then drops them. Ds sets his handful of sand on the main table to pick up her containers and in that split second she reached over grabbed a handful of it and shoved it in her mouth happily munching blue kinetic sand 🙈😫

Smurf123 · 12/03/2022 16:11

I would assume airline wise is just that your ds has to be in a car seat for when seat belt sign is on but I'm sure he can use the seat fine art other times and just sit on your knee for the seat belt parts. Can you ring and talk to someone?

WolfMother326 · 12/03/2022 16:28

@BertieBotts thank you so much! This is incredibly helpful. I can get my family in the US to bring a car seat for on that end. Good idea.

I did speak to someone about this when I booked but now I'm thinking he was confused/didn't know what he was talking about so will try to ring again.

BertieBotts · 12/03/2022 20:33

Smurf :o :o :o You will be pleased to know DS2 makes up for both of them and I'm certain DS3 is going to have a devilish streak too!

Yes normal (European) airline rule is infants (under 2) on lap with baby belt extension loop when seatbelt light is on, unless they have a car seat on their own seat, in which case they can be in that. When seatbelt light off they can be wherever they like.

US family bringing own seat is a good solution, you might want to look at the Eclipse then if he will have his own seat, but I wouldn't use it as your main seat. It's too old/basic and it's only forward facing.

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Sarah13xx · 13/03/2022 00:44

My friend was away to Dubai last week with her little one and I hadn’t even considered the seat belt sign for babies but she was saying about having to lift her out the bassinet they provide for them to sleep in every time the seat belt sign went on so all the babies were crying 🤦🏼‍♀️ Didn’t even consider that would be an issue on a plane but obviously it is. Luckily our flight is only to Spain so he should be awake for most of it

@BertieBotts thanks, need to have a look at this tomorrow!

kagerou · 13/03/2022 10:34

@RandomCatGenerator literally just chickpeas and lemon in a blender (+ no salt tahini or sesame paste if you have ruled out allergens) then blitz to either smooth or lumpy depending on babes preference

kagerou · 13/03/2022 10:41

Also just wanted to add that as someone who used to run an animal rescue group I have seen plenty of one eyed cats, its incredible how quickly they cope and recover. Wishing all the best for yours (also taking her to UK was the best thing you could do if surgery wasnt possible in India and no airline allows a cone on due to suffocation risk) Flowers

Magik01 · 13/03/2022 19:49

Very jealous of everyone who have booked to go on holiday. I haven’t been abroad for 5 years and it will probably be a few years until we do again. It just seems to stressful with children to be honest! Plus with the cost of living going up it’s not really something we can afford at the moment.

Didn’t end up going the photo shoot today, DS1 has had a flare up of dermatitis around his face bless him so we have some cream off the doctors for it. Will hopefully rearrange it though as it is something I’d like to do.

Is anyone still doing the dream feed btw? I am but only because I’m scared to stop and ruin the good sleep! Confused

Millymay13 · 13/03/2022 20:19

@Magik01 we’ve just stopped giving a little bottle feed when we go to bed this weekend (so only two nights so far). It’s gone absolutely fine. I was so sure he’d wake up wanting his milk at the usual time but the last two nights he’s just slept on.

I had noticed in the last week or two that he’d been really fast asleep when I was picking him up to feed him so felt I was disturbing him which is why I built up the bravery to try giving it up.

Smurf123 · 13/03/2022 20:27

@Magik01 I've been going to bed as soon as I actually get dd to sleep does that count as a dream feed (usually about 8/9 🙈
I thought sleep was improving again but last night was then a disaster. Now to be really fair to dd she does have covid and her top tooth has finally broken through this morning just the very very tip of it

RandomCatGenerator · 13/03/2022 22:04

Thanks both for baby hummus and on the cat thing, @kagerou. There is a risk she may lose the other eye. Then there’ll be a tough decision as to whether it’s fair to have her adapt to living blind age 15.