I had my second daughter 6 weeks ago and due to PCOS and breast hypoplasia I am physically/physiologically unable to breast feed my babies despite desperately wanting to my milk doesn’t come in as I don’t have the tissues that make milk. Anyway… I met with my manager at the beginning of the week and we went for a walk and then to the café afterwards. My daughter was getting hungry so got out her milk only for my manager to screw up her face and to tell me that she would never dream of giving her daughter (who is now 7) formula despite health professionals advising her to ‘top up’ as she wasn’t gaining sufficient weight. This comment was absolutely cutting. I literally wanted the ground to swallow me up. I’m amazed I didn’t leave crying. Why do other people/mums think it’s ok to do this? This was after explaining my medical history to my manager which I wish I hadn’t done. Now I’m dreading going back to work in 11 months time!
Then I met with some other friends yesterday and they have a daughter who is almost 5 and was breastfed as baby and again my well meaning friend kept saying ‘oh she loved the boob’ and then I gave my daughter a dummy to suck as she doesn’t have access to my breasts only for my friend to say she didn’t give her daughter a dummy. That’s fine but these comments I find so hurtful and almost like I’m less of a mum to my children because I have no choice but to formula feed and provide a dummy. We removed my daughters dummy when she was 8 months old and felt this was the right time for us all and plan to do the same with my youngest.
I just feel so belittled, humiliated and constantly judged by others who I thought were friends but I just feel left with a sour taste in my mouth after all these hurtful comments. I just wish people would think before they speak as they have no idea the emotional turmoil I’ve been through - especially breastfeeding grief. I know I’m rambling but I’ve no one else to speak to about how I’m feeling (my OH just says to ignore the comments).